fragile as an egg
I crack my skull over the page
and astral project my discontent
in order to witness my disconnect

the black oozes out
and takes its sweet time
to reach for the sheets
of paper to rhyme
my disillusionment
with suffering not mine
it speaks to me
all of the time

grasping the page
black eases in
to fill the void again
in vain attempt to connect
the patterns perceived
by my hand-selected memories

filed all orderly
they spill out in a heap
and soak in paper-deep
it's not enough
and it will never be enough
but blood must be spilled
in order to keep
my gods alive

they wane with the tides
sanguine and weak
I give all I have
but it rarely seems
to have an effect other than
a brief reprieve
for myself
it doesn't help
or decrease
their suffering...

so I weave words together
to spellbind the weather
from washing away
all I've worked to achieve
and perceive with augury
and sorcery and poetry
all scratched in the earth
so the world might hear me

vocalizations and invocations
fail to sway the rocks--
stone-faced, anthropomorphic rocks
--that just stare at me
secretly laughing
they're happy
their suffering

my gods are dying!
and I'm trying
to find a cure
but it isn't working
and more and more
I'm sure that

a congregation of one is not enough

whispers
behind my back
isn’t she so annoying?
my naive self
just eager to love
to have good friends
was i just
a pity friend?
someone you felt bad for?
this is what it has always been
no matter who decides
to take me in
i’m always just
a pity friend

Shoplifter


She is so selfish on the sea shore.
She steals for pleasure and nothing more.


She lives for adrenaline and cares for no-one but herself.
She says she cannot help it,
But she is a worthless human being swimming in her stolen wealth.


Dopamine protects her from any guilty feelings she may have.
She wants it, so she steals it and puts it in her bag.


I have no pity for her for she is just a thief.
She wants compassion and understanding,
But she cannot take these things from me.


She lives for the thrill of it.  She wants it so she takes it.
She is the dirt on society.  She is empty of feelings.
She has always stolen without thinking about the consequences;
Now she is sat in a jail cell with a new pair of bracelets,
And somebody has stolen her ear-rings.


(C)2016 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.

Such a loss, to me, not you.


In need of being loved; in need of a hug.
In need of somebody; somebody to love.
Alone now so long, I haven’t had to say goodbye in such a long time.
I can’t remember what real love feels like;
I have no memory space left for it inside.


You are all welcome to all the love,
But nobody can have mine,
Because I am so far removed, from any kind of love life.
I have already rolled those furry dice, one too many times
And now I just do not have the will, to keep on rolling snake eyes.


The risk is no longer worth the reward.
The chance is not in my favour.
I am at odds with the world and even if I was only ignored,
I could at least understand that kind of behaviour.


All the love in the world, I could have it inside my heart,
But it is worthless in my hands.
Love is useless to me and far too hard.
Too hard to find; too hard to keep.
So easy to lose, this stupid love thing.


So no longer will I try and no longer will I want.
No longer will I go in search of love; it is time to finally stop.
You can tell me anything…
I am no longer listening.


(C)2017 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.