You see I'm hurting inside
You see that all I want to hide
But you also see that I want you
To hold me, to grip me and not let go
But this time when I push you
Away hoping, needing you to come closer
You don't, you walk away further
Than before, further than I pushed
But I guess that's fine...
For what more can I have but pain?
Pain runs through my poems line
Like all the tears hidden by the rain
Like all the scars on my heart,
And all of them on my mind,
But it's the ones that stain my soul
And make it red, well maybe before
It all got worse it was simply red
But now whenever I look in the
Mirror hoping to see a smile in
My own eyes all I see anymore is
Black void of sadness and pain
That plagues my soul hidden
Behind the light I took from the
Bulb and put in my eyes
Hidden behind the smile
Stolen from pictures on the web
That I glued to my face
But even though you see all this
You didn't push towards me,
No, all you did was leave me
To sink through my darkness,
To sink through my thoughts
That convince me you love
Someone else, my thoughts
That convince me theirs another
Lover always staring at you
In the form that I thought
Was explicitly mine to see.
Pain, it flows through my mine
like it flows through my soul
And through the lines of my poem,
I guess pain is the main constant
In my life, with sprinkles of disappointment
and pretense of happiness to make it
Taste like sugar as it runs
through who I am.
Thanks for showing me the light...
Actually, for taking it away when I needed it most...
If you know my real name, and if you're the one I love know this. This is NOT a break up poem. It's a poem of how I feel, of how dark everything I see has become, and how the light that I needed didn't even try to give more than a light push through the darkness that pervades me right now.
