All I can think about is what I lost.
What I lost before,
What I lost in the process,
What I will loose after.
Winning doesn't count when you're consumed by your loss.

I don't feel at home
In my own skin
I run from ghosts
I do not believe in
To live and love
Has not been win win
I'll have to hang upside down
The next time you ask me to grin

©2024

Pain affects immediately, sticks around indefinitely
The headcount is up to sixty over infinity
And right around the corner is another three
Meaning it's always in the vicinity
And every type lands just a smidge differently
This feels like what I might imagine to be purgatory
Woe is me
My future will be winless if I'm too stay in the business of learning from my history
The bell to start the fight indicates the end, just prematurely
Loosing in a victory, contradictory absurdity mentioned literally,
All ***** nilly
As I'm sure you can imagine, maybe even probably agree
Somethin' like that is bound to change the complexion of a personality
I know personally
I'd hoped good days would roll in gradually, at least eventually
Instead they taunt relentlessly
It's with a heavy, often broken, heart I go in and defend half heartedly
Enjoying the savagery, a familiarity that relaxes me
But positions me next to the poisons amidst the pageantry
In the direct line of sight of my worst enemy
Me looking back at me directly
"You're talking to yourself again Jeremy..."
...shiit, sorry

©2024

So you want to lead me, "us all," to the "truth,"
That there is no excuse and that every day
We need instantaneous "failure proof,"
But I know what you are, you can't hide.
You've taken so many to an early
Retirement already with your "sane" logic.
Please give me a moment so I can find out
What it's like to be on the
"Winning side,"
While I sit here, head reeling,
Strangers passing around at every turn on
This city street, completely and entirely aware
About it all and don't want to let you just
Simply pass for normal. It's like this feet that you must commit
To, I'm a victim of your shameless charade,
Lucky me, I am the bad one who has to get out of the car.
That every thing I have ever accomplished means
Absolutely nothing
-NO MATTER WHAT-
Simply because it isn't
Popular...

Even if it's heads or tails
either side You always win.
Your own system never fails
ev'rything else wears out thin.
____

The street is swapped with bodies
Young, old and grey
A sea of strength and weakness
Soft, eager and fragile

These streets are filled with vehicles
3-wheels, cars and motorcycles
Vast need for speed with myriad speedometers
A different sense of focus, smothers!

Our focus is just to hustle
Be a cobbler, doctor or apostle
Variants of professions, you just have to shuffle
Not the best serenity, man just settles

We focus on vanity,
I wonder if we check deep within
The goal is to reach the top.
We often forget the master of the race herein

We lose our hearts to the matrix
Most times we even forget the margin
The apocalypse is yet to come
Yet we forget, it's most catastrophic

Have You looked within?
What are you yet to see
Is it the future you seek
Or deed incomplete?

Did you notice how much rest you need?
Or how anti-social you have been.
How much you seized to live though Alive
Have you noticed how badly you lost to Hustle?