my sun

filled my eyes with brightness

kept me warm at my coldest

gave me life

my sun

Something about the way his eyes glowed in the pattern on the sun filled the room with an aura of something blue. Sometimes red. Others green or purple. But each time he filled the room. On days that were cold his heart grew warm. Though cheeks red. His hair was brown but white like snow on winter days. He reminded me of winter. Chilling but beautiful. Complex but so simple. Cold but warm inside.

I am so grateful for you
For making me the happiest I’ve ever been
For making me feel loved
For making me feel safe
And for always reminding me how special I am

I have never loved anyone like I love you
You keep me going
And inspire me to do better

You’re the answer to my prayers
You are the one
The one who I want to build a future with

No matter how hard it may get
I will love you unconditionally
For you are
The love of my life

Remember the way of the moon and how the seasons changed. The sun kissed the August season as the lakes warmed and the sunflowers bloomed. Or remember when the sun fell early but softly on the winter lakes. Frozen and fields white with snow. The changing seasons of May were what I’d remember most from my childhood. It would be summer and the joyous giggles of children galloping through fields would fill the air like a rain storm in April. Along the lakes we’d row to the ghost island, bones piling up in numbers unimaginable but, it was an adventure. A memory. The sunscreen burning through our cheeks we’d lie among grasses and wet rivers, longing for summer to stay forever. The winter months were soon but the blossoming flowers and handmade ice cream made us think that wasn’t so.

I don't know if
You know what I mean when
I say that
I'm thinking about you, let me explain:
I sense you as though I am near you,
My thoughts reach out to you, trying to reach you,
To touch you, to see you, to hear you
I know you're not here, but
You're here in my inner view,
I hold you inside me and
Hide me inside you.
Can you, too, feel me beside you?

My heart has always been skeptical,
and sometimes I think that it's waiting.
waiting to go back to being hollow,
like that old church in Vienna,
after mass on a rainy day in October.

I stood outside in the garden:
extracted my rib,
ground it down on that stone,
shaping it into a knife
so that I could dig a small hole
to bury my treasonous heart.

You emerged into that dark wood,
and we found a path together
through moonlit streets and storms
until we came upon a tavern-
your laughter sloshing like
warm bourbon falling into a glass.

I'd watch you when you lost your self,
and I could see the fire burning in you
warming me, and in those lost moments
I didn't care at all that I might get burnt.

you were golden
and filled with fire

exploding with life
you flickered and flared

in my washed out,
moonless night
i was silver and cold

and i found myself drawn
like a moth to a flame
and i thought i would burn.

but when our paths brushed
and i lingered too close
to the sun...

you were warm, you were warm
(and you would never hurt me)

She stood on the edge of the cliff, suspended somewhere in the distance between me and the setting sun. She looked back towards me, waiting patiently at the foot of her elongated shadow.

Her eyes were brimming with tears. Barely visible streaks of salt water already stained her cheeks, but across her lips, a smile. Wide enough to show nearly all her perfectly aligned teeth, her lips taught, almost painfully stretched across her face.

A laugh escaped her throat, something between a laugh and a sob and a cry, cut short as her lungs forced her to gasp, then falling into a spasm of short, shallow breaths.

The words fell like diamonds from her mouth to my ears, scoring my brain with their edges, blinding my inner light with their aura.

I was swept away in the moment, which I thought could never possibly end. But of course it did. And the silence that followed left me shattered and alone.

An escape made in earnest
The quiet upkeep of missing links
An upheaval of something good
To relinquish all sanity
As cracks begin to race across the surface
Dividing the tension across abstract faces
The sound of a jet engine
And the wind that grows ever warmer
The final rays of light
On this endless, waxing summer
In a chemical solution