One wall was painted dark blue,
while the other wore a bright yellow,
and the spot known as the corner was now known as me.

Upon the blue wall I wrote: "I don't want to live alone."
Upon the yellow wall I wrote: "I want to be with you."

But as the corner of the room I knew that though the emotions were juxtaposed, the message was still the same.

behind the castle walls,
behold a girl who's been hurt,
a girl who's been taunted,
a girl who's been broken into pieces,
a girl who's been tossed aside like nothing,
a girl who's been torn down.

behind the castle walls,
lays a ******* her mattress,
eyes trimmed with water,
as her gaze is fixated on her ceiling.

behind the castle walls,
is a girl who doesn't understand love,
because she's numb to the feeling,
something that stings but no longer pains.

behind the castle walls,
is a girl who's tired,
both emotionally and physically.

behind the castle walls,
is a girl who doesn't want to breathe any longer.
because even the shallowest breath,
burns like flames.

If the grass could talk it'd probably ask me to get off of it and if the trees could talk they'd probably cry for their brothers and sisters chopped down and if the dirt could talk it'd probably ask for a light, it's dark underneath us
if the sky could talk it'd probably lose its voice anyways from cussing out the truck drivers and factory workers
if the buildings could talk I wonder if they'd get along
if my walls could talk it probably wouldn't change anything and
if I could talk I'd probably have something to say to you.
What an incredible power to be able to **** the sound out of everything around you and turn it into noise.

An electrical fence
Lines the inside of my body
Within it I can feel
The semblance of emotions
As they throw themselves
Furiously against the wires
Electric tremors flare through my limbs
Waves of whispered feelings
Tear through my muscles
Begging and screaming for me
To let them live and breathe freely
But my mind tells me not to
It says I can't trust my feelings
And if I am not my emotions
Then I can still trust myself
I'm told that feeling is dangerous
That it hurts other people more
Than not feeling hurts me
And how can I argue with that?
But the feelings keep screaming
They keep scratching at the floor and
Infuriating their essence with electricity
Please just let me be
Please just set me free
I'm suffocating under the pressure
Ripping apart from this tug of war
My brain promises that I'm fine
My feelings say that's a lie
All I know is that I'm tired
I just want a break
I can't fight like this forever
And it's not just me
While I'm exhausted and in pain
Those around me don't see
They think this is just me
But I can't connect to them
With my emotions behind bars
Theres no room for empathy
No room for intimacy
I am alone
Yet I can't feel lonely
What a well-oiled machine
This human without feelings

my walls are not built
for the same reasons
as yours.
they were built to protect
myself from my own head

•|||°

My skin is prison walls
My body is the inmate.
It’s a one-woman jail
Nobody pays my bail.

There’s no way out
In vain do I shout. / I can’t even shout.
This lack of choice
Has muted my voice.

My mind is the prison guard
She is omnipresent.
Her presence is less than pleasant.

My feet don’t really complain
Even my arms follow my brain.
Barbed wires made of thoughts
Erase this inmate’s hopes.

I am beginning to understand
I was formed whole
Nothing was left out
Nothing to be sent along later

So then what am waiting for
To start my life
Why do I play so small
In this garden of abundance

The walls of my fears
It seems are illusions
Fabrications I cling to
Protecting me from an imaginary abyss

How to tear these walls down
And emerge from this prison
From the sad aloneness
Into joy and connection