Forgiveness has never been an issue
"I forgive you" is easy for me to say
But my mind
My overthinking mind
Just won't let me forget.
Today i woke up okay and happy to be healing
Tomorrow I realize, I wasn't healing yesterday
It's just that my mind had a lot to think about, so it gave me a break.
I'm past crying in the shower stage
I'm past the bleeding heart stage
And I'm so unsure of my life and if I'll ever be the same again
If I'll ever be sane again
Because each day I realize,
I never really healed, my wounds just stopped bleeding
I never forget, my tired mind just gives me breaks
I realize that I'll learn to trust again, just not today
And my memories will haunt me (the good and the bad ) and it will feel like sandpaper on my wounds each day
But that's okay because now I know pain is part of healing too
Because I bĺed until it stopped
I will ache until I heal
Might be sore once in a while, to remind me of what I have survived
But healing is a process and I refuse to rush through so I take baby steps till I get there
Jojo. poetry

you used your powerful voice to shame and insult me but when you stopped my quiet and shy voice shamed me in your place kept repeating all the mean things said and now i hate me but it was easier when the words came from you but now that they are coming from within me the pain is worse because i believe my quiet shy voice than your powerful one
Because your words i could ignore sometimes
But my words hit straight home
Because your words i could shrug off most times
But mine are curved onto my very being
And i now doubt everything i do
I doubt who i am
Because of the words within

A sip,
I feel it go down my throat smoothly
And as it reaches my tummy
I feel warmth
A feeling I had forgotten
After taste on my tongue
Bittersweet like my life
And a sip turns into a gulp
Because why not?
I love how it makes me feel
Giddy, happy, joyful
And so I stand up glass in hand
In my granny underwear and my favorite sweater
And I sway my hips to the music in my head
I grind my *** on the crotch of my imaginary guy
The perfection he is, I like who I am when he’s near
Pure bliss I love what’s in my glass
And so I throw the glass away
Drink straight up from the bottle
I feel like a bad girl
Because mama said glasses were for ladies
And bottles for crazies
And I smile because it feels so **** good
And because I don’t know who I am
I keep drinking hoping to find my answers
At the bottom of my bottle
And when I find none,
I’ll open another one
Mama said never give up
And my mission is to find answers by the end of the night
Oh dear Wine I wish everyone was like you
Tonight you have heard me tell you how lost I am
Tonight you have let me dance with you in my arms
Tonight you have listened and not judged
Tonight I have taken and felt bliss as a reward
Is this how people feel when they take from me
Pure bliss and joy because I never ask back
And for a moment I sobered up
And I looked at your bottle in my arms
Poor wine! She has given away the good stuff
And now she’s empty inside
Left nothing for herself now she’s useless and not needed
And before I opened your sister sweet white
I realized in a sober world you and I are the same
Always giving until we were empty
But tonight I drink so for once I’ll take
Even if it's just from a bottle of sweet sweet wine.
Jojo.poetry

They told you heart break was the most painful
That losing your love tears your heart
Something you didn’t want to experience
So you put a wall around my heart
To prevent damage to it
You  thought you were invincible
The strongest
With an army that doesn’t let anything in
Nor anything out
Your  words your weapons
To slay any thing that will bring harm to your heart
So you dated and your heart was never in it
you were so busy protecting your heart your castle
you forgot your body your temple
With your beautiful long legs
your thighs thick to an extent
your *** what they call tangible
***** perky and fresh looking
They told you to look out for heart hunters
No one told you about the body hunters
you were busy protecting your heart
While most were never interested in it
And now you look at my body
Your  broken temple
So battered so shattered
Guilt like no other rushes over you
And as you stood there naked before him
With tears that came from your heart
Your walls break apart
Your impenetrable wall finally let something out, emotions  
Tears of anger tears of disappointment
You wished someone told you
Your  body needed protection too
Because its out here in the open
your heart would never attract what you wont allow
But who or what your body attracts
For that you are powerless
the body that you had no problems with
before you met him
became the thing you hate the most
it felt damaged it felt defiled
You wish they told you to protect it above all
You  wish they told you
The pain was not only physical
But also heart felt
To give your body to someone
Who will never appreciate it
And insult you for having such a temple
At first you try to hide it
You are ashamed to have it
And slowly you tear it down
Muscle by muscle
Your temple falls apart
You no longer care you no longer value it
And so you turn your back to the world
Because someone told you
You should be ashamed of having such a body
Since you failed in protecting your body
You neglect you heart next
And soon the pent up emotions all come out
And you are left a wreck so beautiful but yet so broken
Allow me to call you beautifully broken
But let me remind you
You are the one who protected your heart
Let that same strong will and love protect your body too
Rise up and build your temple anew
Make it prettier and brand new
Let them see it and realize they cant get near you
Because now you know your body needs protection too
And your scars and marks will show them
That you survived that but have no plans
Of  going through it all again
Let your scars be your *******
To anyone who doesn’t see what you have
A temple.
Jojo.poetry

A look in the mirror
I feel so bare
Without my makeup
Without my filters
To hide my emotions
To show me I’m pretty too
“you are pretty”, my mouth says
But my heart refuses to repeat after it
I hate everything I see
But thank God I have something at least
My filters make me feel safe
They hide my true self from being seen
But when I have to put my phone down
And walk without them
That’s when I realized its all not real
And so i hide in silence
Too bad my filters can’t hide me here too