Between last night and this morning,
Between the full moon and sunrise,
When dark descended like a sheet,
And heavy lids covered my eyes,

The stars emerged and receded,
Nocturnal hours ticked away,
A carpet of frost was laid down,
There between last night and today.

Ere dawn blackness interceded,
Taunting me, “Where is your light now?”
Yesterday had been locked away,
And I must start again somehow.

The nightfall came to curse the past,
I embraced it to block the shame,
Because soon the sun will come up,
And I will never be the same.

Sleeping is a contract
I keep signing
Waking is a contract
I keep breaking
I just want what
Kumbhakarna had
nidravatvam
six months isn't much
so I can sleep this
sickness away.

The night is fuzzy
from the haze of the soft lights
street lights
porch lights
I linger, swathed in slumber

The shadows have teeth
deep set, many searching eyes
red eyes
mad eyes
I linger, swathed in slumber

The world is barren
all others dead to the night
they sleep
we sleep
I linger, swathed in slumber

No one can save me
I cannot wake up from this
Frightmare
Not-right-mare
Someone-turn-on-the-light-mare
The-shadows-start-to-bite-mare!
I linger, swathed in slumber

The shadows move in
the lights won't work—nothing works!
I can't
Wake up!
I linger, swathed in terror

I slowly open my eyes
And colors swim
Before me

Blurry but
As I blink rapidly,
The world grows
Clear.

I strain my ears
Listening for the
Tick tock
Of the bathroom
Clock.

I feel the soft,
Cotton sheets
Under me.

I breathe in…
The fresh smell
Of fall time breeze
Rolling through
My open window.

I try to reach for my
Digital world--
So close
Yet, so far.

But I stop myself…

And.

Close my eyes,
Yet again.
Using my magical senses
To explore
And enjoy

The time
We call
Morning.

I want to see you again
But that would be a mistake
Still, I never loved you more than then
The day you left me in your wake

solitude marks the height of my contentment
no agreements to make
I don't have to see faces
nods smiles masked aggression
I don't have to act
I don't have to trade facade for facade
with my peers
do I even have peers?

at night, I feel a stillness
so deep, so harsh, so honest
I don't have to live this lie
explain why I'm fine
why everything is fine
because, it's not
nothing's fine

I am a million clashing universes
filled with endless dying stars
and I reach out
to the other universes
and shrink back
  back
          and at night
I fill the stillness
  the stars collapsing
every synapse bending
toward destruction

no want
               no need
                             no crying out for more

at night there is no other
no one to say my name falsely
and when I sleep
the ocean of my subconscious
carries me to sleeping cures
takes me away for years
to great expanses of colorful
living worlds
where I feel
where my emotions are tangible
solid
and
       they keep me company for
a millennia
         I wake to this doll world
where a friend asks
how are you doing
and she's doing it out of obligation
                                                and there's no color
and I have no emotion
and I feel nothing

Life is the waiting room for the exploration of that dream world

and every night
I taste it
I touch it
I breathe in its vibrance
and the only want
is to never wake
to this grey world
to never have to answer

"fine"

again

The road was windy and the path ain’t straight
In my drunken fantasy where my satisfaction did sate
Fireflies lingering all around, and my vision almost drowned
Heard imps laughing and bees buzzing, that annoying sound

A whimsical laughter filled the atmosphere
To a memory, that for now, I’ll not remember
I only have a single regret in this moment
That this happiness is just transient

The moon was black and the sky was white
As I wake up from my drunken stupor
Mind beating like the heart and eyes filled with blinding light
Slammed hard to the ground from the heavens where I soar

Remember once again what I want to be forgotten
The disappointments and regrets that was once hidden
But I must endure for now and live this ****** life of pain
For when night comes and the bottle is uncorked, it’ll be bliss once again