Could've sworn I saw a light
Buzzing through the pines
On the hillside
Gazing down at me
Like a singular eye of god
Peeking through reality
Wondering what's become
Of it's creation

Opening myself up
That same light protruding
Nearly went blind
And felt strangely vacant
Like that divine intervention
I prayed for by candlelight
Finally extended its hand
But retreated last second

Saw that shine again
This time in the eyes
Of a deer by the lake
Couldn't stand the scrutiny
Quietly shuffled my fingers
To the trigger of my gun
Aimed best I could
Tarnishing the light for good

When you fall in love with a mean man you’ll find yourself truly believing that you deserve the misery. The fighting, the hurt and the crying feels all too consistent. Uneasy becomes your default setting as you find yourself walking on eggshells to avoid the anger. You’ll forget how you once loved the sensation of skin-to-skin contact the more you catch yourself flinching at his touch. When he points out that you’ve gotten distant you wont even notice how guilt melts into consent as he takes what he tells you he deserves. It’s alright, he loves you. 
If you’re anything like me you’ll believe that you’re not enough. You’ll believe that it’s your fault when he starts a fight. If only you could do better, then he’d have no reason to be upset. You wont believe it when your mom tells you it isn’t healthy to come home crying every time you see him. You wont believe your friends when they tell you that you deserve better than a possessive man who won’t let you out of his sight. Worst of all, you certainly wont believe yourself when you’re brain is screaming that you cant take it anymore; because your heart is screaming even louder, “He loves me!”

I never liked Jonathan until
I punched him
And stole his tooth.
I got a dollar
From the Tooth Fairy.

i see blood,
i see it everywhere now:
falling from the sky,
splattered on the ground.
i see blood of those
who don't have a home,
not because it's lost,
but because it's torn.
i see crimson tears,
i see scarlet streets.
they might sympathise,
they might speak of peace,
but if there's no justice,
then there is no god.
when i close my eyes
all i see is blood.