They wrap their arms
tightly around the other's
veined neck
clawing maniacally with
exposed teeth
and wild eyes.

a certificate;
their names as one,
ripped to shreds
but apparently
still valid.

and somehow,
when it's my turn,
I fantasise my arms
would lay limp
and his will, too.

But maybe
it's a glimmer of hope
of a candle in
interminable night--
wishful thinking.

Silly girl--
there is no romance
without menace.

The arrogance of the men and their violence
in all possible forms
– completely everyday or extraordinary,
subtle or extreme,
considered as being normal or abnormal –
depend on this, of course,
that they are either denied or justified
from the perpetrators of the violence themselves.
But also by the women in any way
glossed over, excused or forgiven,
which from childhood to the present day, in Western countries too,
has been brainwashed thoroughly,
which means: shut up, be obedient
and offer no resistance.


© Barbara-Paraprem, 2015

The hurt , the pain, the fights,
For others were unseen sights,
Hidden away, at home the secret would stay,
carefully thought of,
A fear which was never sought of,
For a child should have been unknown,
They were not even fully grown.

The emotions they had to deal with, had nobody to truely feel them with , not knowing , when it would be , the future they wish they could see , it could happen at any time , the kid should have been in her prime.

The smiles infront of others ,
The constant unsure stutters,
The acts of being brave,
Are the ones others generally crave,
Trying to escape the sudden calls, and after can hardly even crawl.

Waiting for this all to end, abit of safety would have been a god send, to talk of it now , we are still unsure how, the marks may no longer be there, but still we doubt if they care , to trust people everyday is much more difficult than they say.

This thing everybody knows of, but still is hardly spoken of, the children won't say it, adults prey among it, this problem needs to stop or it will hit an all time top.

Kneeling down
        Speaking to God
        His black eyes scream forgiveness
        The sound gives me goosebumps

    You see
                  I've done things most would consider a bit unusual
  But I've always deserved it
     A razorblade horizontally drug across my lips reminded me to never talk back
     Embedding shards of glass in my legs one by one reminded me to never run away from my problems
              
            After everyone died there were questions I could never say the real answer to
          
        You were there to hear the truth, always were
        Beside me, behind me, beneath me
    You never loved me enough to be inside, but it was ok because your mystique kept me inebriated

    The questions never stopped the rooms got smaller and I had to run
       I had to leave. You came with me

    I hated myself for not staying. And when the pieces of glass weren't enough, I understood I deserved a worse punishment, I lit a cigarette and started my trusty chainsaw
   And after I was finished even you shrunk away from me, my flat friend made of blackness where did you go?

       Now all I have is God.
He listens okay, but he's not like you. With my decimated body leaning against my bed, I look into his two deep dark hollow eyes, I bring his eyes closer, into my mouth, and finally he talks back. He says *bang

Raw illness rubs up
Against the wet meat of my
Indecisive tongue

and

I am sick with the
Taste of his filthy fingers
Snagging on my jaw

and

Honeysuckles bloom
Around the places that kept
Me from crying out

and

The air was too sweet
To explain why his breath felt
Like death’s brand across
My arched and aching
Spine. He ripped open my soft
Flesh and consumed me.

The pain
Of hearing words
Of hate and violence
Spilling from the mouth
Of someone so beloved
Burns so hot it turns to ice
Within my chest.
The pain
From the words
That seared into my skin so deep
You could find them branded
Into the lining of my lungs
So that my very breathing
Was punctured by your anger.

If you tell someone
Something long and often enough
It becomes their religion.
Your words of hate become their prayer
And the doctrine one of self-loathing
And smile-covered sadness.

If you had one constant
It would be anger.
Anger that simmers underneath your love
And erupts with the fury of hate.
Kindness and understanding
Are in short supply in your world.
My love for you
Is the only chain
That binds me to you,
The only chain that keeps me
From flying away from
The spite and resentment
That seeps into your tongue.

If you tell someone you love them
Often and long enough
Your words take root inside their heart
and weld chains that keep them bound to you.
If you tell someone you love them
The dictionary of hate
Should not leak from your tongue,
If you tell someone you love them
Furies’ kisses
Should not rain from your fists,
If you tell someone you love them
The poisons of resentment
Should not spill forth from the dark side of your soul.

If you tell me you love me
You could tear me apart
But never lose me.

I tolerated my **** neighbor even though he liked to gripe.
But I drew the line when he attacked me with a steel pipe.
The ******* hit me in the ribs and on my head.
My skull was fractured, I'm lucky I'm not dead.
Now the hospital is threatening to take my home because I can't pay their bill.
I don't deserve these problems, I may lose my house and I was nearly killed.
But I had him arrested and they locked that maniac in a cell.
He committed assault with a deadly weapon and he's rotting in jail.

There is no more
civil war
it's changed from days gone by
You can not have a
civil war
no matter how you try

Rules of the engagement
done and dusted
all forgot
now Rules of engagement mean
you give it
all you got

Armies lined up on the field
civil war, I'd say
Now, you push a button
and **** from
ten time zones away

Pleasantries forgotten
War's not civil
anymore
With all of our
progression, we forgot how
to have a civil war