#venting poems on Hello Poetry

Genie Dec 2017

I’ve lost the bond of a loved one during the journey of finding myself.
I only have myself when I’m not fitting in.
How I’m not giving in to what’s socially acceptable or the traditions when there’s only so much I can give.
I’ve always been an observer but as a child I kept expressions in.
Putting on a stoic face as my depression grows within.
I thought of this just as temporary but then the approach begins again so once again I’m just a kid.
Yearning for that old relationship with my mother and the comfort of a home.
But I'm too different from the rest so I come off as complicated, I’m alone for not being a clone.
Can't find happiness of my own,
I've never felt so obligated.
My mind never focuses on that.
Not merely since everything in my environment has my mind on different paths but never fulfilling anything.
Never accomplishing what I go after, how I drop everything I pick up.
My failures seems to come back to back from one another playing *** for tat.
Most things that come to me never last.
Unless it's a dark mass or anything traumatising I'm trying to get passed.
Feels like everything in this world is robbing me but I always see it coming, it's unmasked.

#life #anxiety #bond #unfit #patience #genie #venting

Breeze-Mist Nov 2017

Nightmares

In my nightmare, she
Grabs me and slams me down, but
I never feel it

In my nightmare, they
They ask about my bruised up neck
I feign innocence

In my nightmare, the
Cuts tear everything apart
Like I wish they could

In my nightmares, it's
The truth that scares me more than
Any false monsters

Just venting.

#venting #haiku #senryu #dreams #nightmares

Juverine Wan Nov 2017

Frustration

' Frustration ' leads to ' damnation '
What's that supposed to mean?
Frustration hurts one deep inside,
So much to be foreseen.

It hurts when I hit the wall,
It hurts when I think of you,
I'm holding out a sign of peace,
but it's still a weapon to you.

You say that maybe you should die,
But do you know I'm already dead?
Maybe you're delusional,
But I'm the one who bled.

It's not funny,
we both know,
We love but still,
what we reap we sow.

My eyes are swollen from crying
while yours is bright with anger,
I should be the one who's dead,
Maybe then it'll all be better

#dead #anger #frustration #venting #passerby #hard #sadness #tears #swolleneyes

Fritzi Melendez Oct 2017

The Concept of Dipping Your Heart In Black Ink

I am mesmerized by the way he caresses my hands in his own boney flesh.
The way he seduces me with poisonous kisses that can break me down into mesh.
The way he carefully watches over me like a vulture circling around its prey.
How he comforts me with gifts of razor blades to end my horrible day.
How his love makes me physically ill to the point where I throw up his bland tasting food.
His lust for a lifeless body, patiently waiting for it to be me when the time is good.
I am in love with the way he looks at my desecrating body.
A flaming hunger in his eyes, I think it is only noticeable to me.
The way he notices my blood is weathering my heart as time keeps passing.
And the way he loves me for who I am without a lack of misunderstanding.
How he holds me oh so tightly when my mind is having another mental earthquake.
How he whispers to me that it will be okay to sleep for an eternity with him because the world I'm in is so fake.
I like the way he tells me to stop breathing and act like I'm at a state of eternal rest.
And the way he looks at my still heart instead of my *******.
The way he slowly runs his fingers through my fresh cut wounds and scars with a face of delight.
He says I made myself into an abstract work of art, always covered in pain and let myself be without a fight.
He traces my rib cage ever so softly as it is bound to turn soon to dust.
His heart makes my body quiver with unrequited passion for him I so dearly lust.
And his sinister smile he gives when he sees me cry.
I know he only partakes in comforting me as to not pry.
Because he knows just exactly what swirls around in my head.
He knows he can make me calm by talking to me about the life of the dead.
Because that is what he knows best, taking care of a heart that has wilt.
I mean, who wouldn't love a man so sweet who can rid us of self hatred and guilt?
I love the way he touches my soul to make me tremble, moan, and scream.
And the pressure builds up to the ****** until he wickedly stops and I'm left to cry out a water stream.
I am in love with the way he leaves me in hunger for days as to keep me on the edge.
And the way he takes away my breath with his tongue dancing on mine while my feet dangle from a ledge.
He promises to stay by my side as his after-life lover.
He has me wrapped around his boney finger like my neck in a hover.
He holds my bleeding hands as I fade in and out of what I was prone.
Because his love for me is so strong, he doesn't want me to transition to the next life alone.
He doesn't cry or tell me to stop at all.
He caresses me in his arms and tells me to let myself fall.
And for his understandings of my weak heart and absent mind,
I am in love with Death, because his heart is always aligned with mine.
He knows exactly what I want and what I want to hear.
He shows his love for me, with no doubt or fear.
I am in love with you, Death, my brittle heart is yours.
I promise one day we'll be together and for you my soul will eternally pour.
For you have always been there, speaking to me through my mind.
Reassuring me that you I will soon find.
I love you, Death, for you are my only company.
I'll come soon to you, and in unity we will be.

I am at a state of mind where I feel death is the only answer to end the pain I've been struggling with.

#death #depression #tragedy #suicide #anxiety #love #forgive #dark #sorry #venting

Breeze-Mist Oct 2017

The Things I Don't Ask

There's a memory of a long time ago
Or was it a dream? How could I know
It's not as if I could ask you as to wether it's true
As if there were anything asking could do
But than I think of the shouting and it seems
Real enough to run from, to want to cry or scream

Was it really a laptop, or was it a plate
That was thrown against the wall, irate
Or maybe the whole thing never really happened
Maybe I misheard something, I was mistaken
Besides, it was nine years ago, I was too young
To even really realize what was going on
But even back then, I knew I was frightened
When I heard a crash before the fight ended

And some days I wonder if I would feel this way
If it was the man doing this to the woman one day
You're against abuse, and try to call out wife beaters
But you applaud a girl who whacks a guy when he cheats her
And I wonder why, if you say you care
Why you sometimes say things that make me wish I weren't there

And I wonder why you don't respect my space
Walking up to my form like you own the place
And I know you mean well, but could you stop
Sneaking up and hugging me in a way I'd rather not
I know you have good intentions, but why can't you see
That there's a reason I'm starting to get a little jumpy

But these are the things I'll never ask
Because I'm to spineless to find out at last
So here I sit, writing an interwebs litany
With a secret profile on a site you'll never see

#family #memories #questions #venting #parents #past

Kimberlee Sep 2017

dont you dare draw blood

she bites her lips to keep the words in
she keeps them locked away in her mouth
where the only person they hurt
is her

and she keeps them there
and waits
either until she can turn them to ink on a page
or until she finds enough strength to swallow them

#hurt #words #venting #hurting #freeform

Fritzi Melendez Aug 2017

hyperVENTilatING

I truly despise
This cruel disguise
placed upon me

In circles, I run
from evil I have done
But I am not free.

I am terrified
of this roller coaster ride
going faster until it suffocates me

My depression and anxiety
my never ending insanity
this will all be the death of me

I want to be alive
But I am deprived
of oxygen and sleep

How do I go about this
turning these scars into bliss?
The end times is all I see

I cannot choose
I'm always bound to lose
And a loner I will always be

I cant see any escapes from this
and only Death can put me to ease with his kiss
Someone, anyone, please, help me...

my mind has been constantly racing with so many thoughts, it's bound to shut down completely.

#depression #anxiety #suicide #tragedy #death #help #venting

Anders Thompson May 2017

An exercise in awareness

You, sir,
I think I made the mistake of trusting you, sir.
I think sometimes they tell you people
That teenagers have nowhere to go and no one to talk to,
So when one speaks to you
You are the only one they have ever spoken to,
And they only one they will ever trust.
You, sir, are the light on the hill!
And yet I never saw a brightness die so fast.

I told you about the depression first.
Yes, I admit it, I was scared;
There had never been enough people to tell me it was okay
To be mentally ill, that it wasn't something I'd chosen,
It was a flaw of chemistry not of character.
Yet I clicked that door open for you and let you in,
That was step 1.

I didn't tell you about her next.
But to be fair, I didn't know about her, either.
I came to you about him, when I was lost.
You berated me for my trust issues;
I swallowed it and knew it and you told me to stop.
He was supposed to be the next good step.
My fault, and I know it.

Step 3 were the voices.
When I told you there were voices in my head
I tried to explain to you that I was not crazy
The chemistry between me and my brain may be bad
But it's not insanity:
Only memories, only torturers,
And I didn't need another one.

When I told you that my sexuality was not straight like a pin
But waved and diverged to both sides
That I was not a het, I was a queer
You were more kindly than the congregation
And I mistook a warning as a welcome.
I was troubled but not condemned so long as I did not "practice."
Well I did not practice for it but when I kissed her and when I kiss her
I remember your words and look into her eyes and think
That there is no practice in her or in I.
Our lips meet and I feel her warmth and her hands are on my hips
And I tell you there is no "practice"
There is no practicing for love,
Not a single rehearsal for passion and commitment.
Sirrah I would do it again and again
Like the waves I will continue to touch her shores,
No matter how many times others may pull me away.

If you meant to abandon me for me,
You should've told me sooner.

#rant #bad #venting #poetry #sorry #friends