The fire danced
in her eyes
again
as she
wiped the tears.

The attention
you seek
in others' eyes
but not inside
your own.

❧ The struggle is over ❧

             It is as if the years of searching and uncertainty are slowly
                      draining out of my body with every day that goes by with you


                                          I never thought I could run across such a treasure

      Each hook up and **** up with the numerous women led me one step closer to you.

                I once took life as a game and my past lovers being the pieces.
    

Until I found out you were the piece that filled the void of contentment
      I surrendered my forces and fell under your control

       You have me by the neck but I trust you will take me into the right
       direction

Warning signs can't be read from inside the womb.

Long all you want to go back to that warmth and goo,
but your stuck out here for keeps.

Don't worry though;
Life is brutal and cold and ends too soon,
but for now just go back to sleep.

Just want you to know
You're my closest lil friend
And when I'm around you
Nothing can offend

Our friendship means so much
But words are so small
Not enough there can be
To possibly describe it all

Your elegant and pretty
But that's just surface stuff
I'll skip all that if you don't mind
I'm sure you hear it enough

Your inner qualities
That's more important to me
So I hope you bear through
And I'll show you what I see

You're loving and caring
Ready to bend a listening ear
You're sweet as the south
You're a joy to be near

Your uplifting words
Like water to the soul
Your love for your friends
Burns hotter than coal

Love you to death
My little friend so dear
Should you ever need anything
I'll always be right here

I'm depressed, the lesson I learned about
Life is that it's hell in its essence.
I don't wanna live wanna leave all this
And escape from the present.
I look in the mirror and just see a mess.
It's getting clear, perhaps it's for the best
To disappear and fade away all my fear;
Share it all with the rest of those
Who appear to illuminate by their presence.

Called Satan and left him a message, nobody's there.
I would leave a voicemail but I know you won't answer my prayers.
You're a good for nothing one way road to despair,
The sole reason we believe that life isn't fair,
And if it was just my suffering I'd scream into your burning eyes that I don't care!

But I do.
I'm not the only person in existence.
See, there's also you.
Waiting around without a clue as to what we should do,
Just like me,
And it seems that no one can see it through.
Like find meaning in life and acquire proven truth,
we are doomed into an unsolvable mystery.
Most may mistake it as revolving of misery.  
How can we not?
All we do is suffer, cause pain to each other,
decompose the composure of life, grow old and just rot?
Oh what an ungodly, revolting thought!
How could our solving of existence lead to such insulting naught?
Let us then burn all of what ancient texts have  taught us and then- what?

There's no concrete answer for the endless eager mind,
But indeed, there can be deeper understanding in what we want to find.
In fact it's within your perception that you must refine,
A victim of deception is not someone anyone should confide in.
When only the darkest pages of life are the ones which he's highlighted,

No.

The nature of emotion is to juxtapose;
A contrasting height for our deepest lows.
Can't be happy without a wrenching pain I suppose,
And that's no truth that a cynics brain can expose,
I know this.
Yet this is a concept that everyone can't help but notice,
While still putting in no effort to try and show it.
People love their pity parties I suppose,
And I've learned it's not worth the effort that it
Takes to force another person to grow,
In cases such as those,
All one can do is inspire others with the radiation of your inner glow.

Hidden
power
does not
keep
quiet
when
grief and sorrow
reveal
danger.

Some days are harder than others. I look in the mirror and count my flaws one by one. The voice in my head tells me I'm not good enough. I know that's not true but sometimes I'm tempted to give in. It's such a struggle to not drown in everyone's expectations of what I'm supposed to be. I constantly reassure myself that it's okay, the only expectations I have to live up to are my own. I'm smart. I'm beautiful. I'm kind. I have a big heart. I tell myself these things over and over just to remind myself that my worth isn't based on the recognition of another person. I will always have value regardless of who chooses to recognize it.

Today, I will look in the mirror and tell myself how much I love her. Instead of picking myself apart and counting my flaws, I will look to the things that make me beautiful. The thick eyebrows that frame my face. The eyes that twinkle when I talk about something I love. The thighs I've earned from running hard and long miles. My ability to always love again despite the pain. We get so wrapped up in trying to be what others want us to be that we neglect what is already there.

I want you to fall in love with yourself this year, flaws and all. Find a reason to love the part of yourself that you hate the most. It's nice to be loved by others but it's even nicer to be loved by yourself. Embrace yourself. That voice in your head that tells you that you aren't good enough is wrong. You have always been enough.

**The journey to self love isn't an easy one but it sure is one of the most important ones you'll experience.