I thought I'd be the one to end it
That it wouldn't be you that'll break my heart
But that nine worded text you sent me
Shattered it to crumbs of glass, tore me apart.

You were the one with sweaty palms at our first meeting
Your shaky voice trapped my mind
But now it is me that sits here weeping
The night reminding me that I was blind

You expected rejection when you confessed,
Expected me to depart
But it is me now comparing myself to her,
the one that caught your heart

tightly within her grip
as she snatched it from my loose grasp
I never knew your worth
until you left, until I saw you last

I was tired of making up excuses for you
Each time, I told myself
He is just so busy
He didnt mean it
He just forgot to get to it
But all I asked was for ten minutes of your time
And some how you still managed
To get lost in the world of things more important than me
So I have accepted my status near the bottom of your list
I wont put any more energy into this
Because everytime I reach out
It seems my name gets pushed further down on the list

Just leave me to live in this garbage
Because I've already been discarded
Like Oscar in his can
I'll be a grouch, a *****, for look at where I stand
Society has counted me unworthy
Has proclaimed I'm gritty, and I'm *****
So I'll climb to the top of this pile of trash
I'll scream out the truth, let them all thrash
For only those in the dark can see the true light
Only the broken know the true wrong from the right
In the midest of the fight is where we grow strong
So we can pull others like us along
For those not ruled by this worlds cash
Will ever be harmed by the stock markets crash
I know the worth of my fellow human
And when the world, by greed lies in ruin
We will climb out of the darkness where you've chased us
And in societies face, truth we will ******
For the darkness of man we know all to well
"For the meek will inherit the world" and love and light will prevail

My demons don't like
the food that I eat.
They taunt me, sending me
running to the bathroom in defeat.

You are not worthy, they say
as I bow at their request.
That food was no good.
now the toilet bowl is my only rest.

My heart breaks, slowly
and pained tears begin to fall.
I have nothing left to give, I say,
I've already given you my all.

I stand and try without success
to wipe my steady tears away.
Looking in the mirror at my swollen eyes
I remind myself tomorrow is a new day.

You felt unloved
You hadn't learned how to love yourself
You sought out love
from those who were incapable of giving it

I thought that maybe I could change things
give you my love
Maybe if I filled you up with enough of my love
you would learn
to love yourself, and learn who was really there for you
You didn't though
My love only confused you, you felt unworthy

I gave you all my love
Assuming that the faster I gave it to you
the sooner you could give it back
But you stole all my love and then threw it away

I had forgotten to love myself
and you didn't love me
so I was left with nothing, I was hollow

I gave you the one thing you wanted
I don't understand why you aren't happy

That moment when his speech lilts to a stop
and his irises darken
-just slightly-

and we stare...
breaking that sacred silence
is so hard....

But he can't stare at me like I want to stare at him.
I'm not worthy of that lavish attention.

"You have the most beautiful hazel eyes!"

My eyes are dark brown.

As of lately
I've been writing.
Scribbling words
With more than
A paper trace

As of lately
My voice is
Not loud enough
To cause an echo
In your head

Instead my words
They float into your
Left brain,
Begin to be processed
And when straight
Lines don't have a node

They are pushed
Out of your right ear
As heavy s shaped
Curves that
Anchor to the
well paved ground

That you walk on,
And that I worship
Is it that the intended
Purpose of our
Commitment has been lost?

As of lately
I lay on my back
To see the world
From a perspective
That is larger
Than my life

And when I turn
My head
In search of
The stars you
Once had in your
Eyes.

Disappointment
Frustration
Dispare
And a gut wrenching
Feeling
Overwhelm me.

What was once numb. Now feels the soft embrace of an angel. That which heals all scares and wounds. Eyes that were blinded by tears and blood, now gaze into a beauty that could only be described as a horizon of supernovas reflecting above an emerald tinted ocean. Ears tormented by the ridicule and screams of those superior, suddenly serenaded by a voice so soft and comforting it was as if peace in its purest form was speaking. Lips, the same that would spout Black blood and nonsense, are now sealed, in the warm lock of another pair. A mind clouded by hatred and insanity, is overflowing, filled with thoughts and feelings just waiting to be portrayed through actions and meticulously planned sentences. All concluding with the same three words,
"I love you".
A pulse, beating inside, a heart. For once, no feeling of anger, or depression. Just happiness, just love. Just her.

i remember there was i time where i ment nothing,
just like the people that saw me bluffing
nothing mattered
nothing would change
everything seemed usless in my ****** up brain

then finally life took a turn for the better
and i was always the one in the center
i was loved
and people cared
but then i fell back down the stairs

again i was the one that no one could see
the person that im really ment to be, everything lost
my cards on the floor
no one to notice if i walk out the door

I'm sorry I did such horrible things to you. I'm sorry I didn't ask you if you wanted me to do them. I'm sorry I didn't stop. I'm sorry I took advantage of you. I'm sorry I am this way. I'm sorry you had to go through this. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I broke your trust. I'm sorry I scared you. I'm sorry I scarred you. I'm sorry I broke my promise. I'm sorry I touched you. I'm sorry I met you. I'm sorry I didn't end it before we met. I'm sorry I didn't control myself. I'm sorry I pressured you. I'm sorry I forced you. I'm sorry I said I loved you. I'm sorry I still love you. I'm so sorry,I am sorry that I'm still here. I'm sorry I made you think I was worth it. I'm sorry I put so much pressure on you. I'm sorry that I still care about you. I'm sorry you don't hate me. I'm sorry I won't let you go. I'm sorry I attacked you.  I'm sorry it seems like I used you. I'm sorry for the tears and embarrassment I caused. I'm sorry I didn't stop.