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Joz Apr 2016
Every step I take does not assure my success
but
to keep going is what I need to do.

Different directions I go do not make me forget you
but
at least I'm not stuck with my own fantasy.

I believe in love just simply because I'm a product of love
but
these days I'm thirsty of love.

I take every little step not to find that love
but
to let that love finds me.

A love that can make me, a greater me
does not
need to be reached, it comes by itself.
April 26, 2016
09:23
MJ Apr 2016
I keep a lot of things
Inside a box under my bed
All the confessions left unspoken
All the things I never said

All the silenced "I love you"s
Every drowned out "please"
Every word I've ever swallowed
I keep them under lock and key

So every time that I seem quiet
When I refuse to make a sound
That's just me adding a new collection
To my box that will never be found

But maybe one day I'll find someone special, who really cares to see
Who will reach into my coat pocket
And find my secret key

Maybe then we'll sit together
And look at every one
I think I'll be able to talk much better
With every knot and noose undone

But I suppose that's just a dream of mine
And all these words drawn out with lead
Are just a new addition
to the box under my bed
Joz Apr 2016
I envy people
who can sing nicely
Their heavenly voice
create a graceful charisma

Listening to their voice
Enjoying the atmosphere
Feeling the cry of their heart
Going deeper to the lyric

If only I could sing,
I don't need falling in love
April 21, 2016
11:15
Joz Apr 2016
It is too early to cry
The sun has not even set
I lost nothing
I earned nothing

No more smooth hand
that used to wipe my tears
No more soft whisper
that says 'Stop crying, I love you.'

I regret what I did
but I felt rejected now
I knew what I should have done
but I did not

I blame myself but I don't change
Let's say I am not a gentlemen
because I stop reaching her
when I felt it is not mutual

Call me a *****
for hurting her
Stare at me as a ****
for making her crying

I start looking a way to move on
when she said I loved him as a friend
and  he loved me too as a friend
I am just selfish for wanting that word for me only

Then again, I recall what she told me
You are nobody
And again, more tears  drop
I am nobody

I don't own her heart anymore
but she still owns mine
When I met another her,
I won't give my heart

*I would just love her as nobody
April 18, 2016 17:30
Joz Apr 2016
Click clock..
I slept in midnight
Click clock..
3 AM I woke up

Boom..
She opened that letter
Was not from me
From someone she always admires

Me..
Just someone who ALWAYS hurt her
Me..
Just... nobody

Me..
Just a place to blame on
Me..
Just a mistake she took

Oh heaven listen up!
I'm craving of loving
Lemme love someone once again
but don't let me hurt her

I've been trying to love people
More.. and more..
But I knew it was different
Maybe I just forget how to love that way again

*God, teach me how to love once again.
Pencil scratching words out
Silence
The sound of paper and lead connecting
Rustling
Frustration, not meaning what you write
Eraser comes out
The crumbler of words
Rubs across the unwanted
And now unsaid
Words that don’t let you speak your mind
Wipe the crumbled words away
Let them fly off the table
Land on the ground
Begin an adventure
That only crumbled words can
Rolling out into
Toiaywahds
Shifting
Changing
Fitting
Into what it means
What do I say
The crumbled words representing
Things you would never dare admit
imssoiuy
liveoouy
Unscrambling
Rearranging
Letting themselves free
I miss you
I love you
Brushing those haunting
Impacting, changing words away
Keeping yourself
Alone
Safe
lonely
Inspired by a friend who once told me she called erased words crumbled words
Joz Apr 2016
It feels like I'm in the jail
Let's call it a jail of love
When you love somebody
But you are nobody

One, two, three girls passed by
But you are still in the jail
The door is widely open
But you just ain't going nowhere

I still remember this jail
As a beautiful haven for two of us
We used to stay in that haven
But time changed it into a jail

You went out and found a new haven
The new buddies that you love
Those who can make you happy
But me, I'm still in our haven

You said you loved me
But you are just too tired to get along again
You said you loved me
But your love is not for me

I'm stuck in this jail
I asked you to go out and find another haven
But you said no
I'm stuck in this opened-jail

Don't pity me
Hey somebody, but I hope she is you again
Take me out from this jail
Let's build the new one, the better one

I still love you but...
*you don't
I wish you still do
Lucrezia M N Apr 2016
Pointless nostalgic,
my only talent is echoing
onto amniotic microcosms,
where singing is the abortion,
of any cerebral commotion.
No courage in my veins
to float on the vibes
of a carcass that remains of me.
licked clean with the searing cure
of a lion, by then confused
with the dense effect
of another space, burned to the ground.
These new sunsets cry raw drops of clay,
still hanging by the thread of these horizons,
while balance bet everything,
on the frustrated sound
of unspoken words.
Nine years back ...
Joz Mar 2016
It feels just like an updated game
Some feature are new
Guess what I should do
I need to adapt and enjoy it

It looks like the game is less fun
But I believe it is only the beginning
The more I adapt the more fun it is
Yes I lost but I won some as well

Not all features disadvantage me
A few of them benefit me
Maybe you create these new features
But I'm not gonna be played easily

You still control me for now
The more I learn the more ready I am
I will be ready to leave the game
If the next new feature is not updated

*I'll leave the game, not you
Joz Mar 2016
I was the one
Who thought status was not important
I was the one
Who always felt status was just a word

Now I'm in this uncertain situation
Where I do not know my position
Should I demand something or not
Should I give it all or not

Why am I jealous?
Why should I complain?
Why do I need to feel loved?
Why am I suppose to care?

Then I relalized something
Statusless is not good
A thing must be firm
So you know what you should do
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