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  Oct 2016 MJ
Ethel Freestone
Depression isn't when you know
That everything around you
Is going wrong
and you feel sad,
Depression is when you know
That everything around you
Is going right
And you still feel you sad.
  Oct 2016 MJ
You just sit all alone
Somewhere, where its still dark in the day,
Sheer silence and
Your screaming demons
Which now have become your best friends.

Darkness is now what you seek
Hoping somewhere,
it'll fill your creeks,
But daily as you sit and
not break those self created walls,
Life goes by
while you just fall and fall
MJ Jul 2016
I've always liked the darkness more than the sunlight.
Not because I've always been depressed.
But because I don't like to risk getting burned.
MJ Jul 2016
I'm the ghost of a girl who used to be
Always smiling, happy and free.

A girl who loved to talk and play.
But slowly, that girl went away.

I don't know where that girl has gone,
She just disappeared beyond the dawn.

She left me behind, to take her place
Because we have the same body and face.

But nobody else can really see
The difference between that girl and me.

Each laugh I fake is weaker,
The smiles I give are fewer.

And you don't notice.

Because you knew of that girl,
But you never really knew her.
MJ Jul 2016
These cannot be my hands.
They've killed too many men.
This cannot be my skin
That's been cut time and time again.

I glance at my reflection,
Then turn my face in shame.
Who is this freak show looking back at me,
Who tells me I'm to blame?

Whose blood is dried upon my hands,
This dirt across my cheek?
Whose gun is this that shot down lives,
Women, children, men and meek?

Whose words are these upon my tongue,
**** like soured wine?
Whose clothes are these upon my chest?
Surely they cannot be mine?

Whose sins are these, the dark and many
That fill an entire sea?
With narrowed eyes, I realize
These sins belong to me.
MJ Jul 2016
When did I become a circus lion
Performing just to receive your praise?
It is just an illusion, a practiced act,
And now the dead you think you can raise.

I've done everything you tell me to.
I've been all you tell me to be.
I've put on this show for you.
Won't you please just set me free?

The cage can't contain my hostile spirit.
This costume is harsh on my scars.
I can't spend one more day forcing joviance.
I need to be free of these bars.
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