Unmotivated Tears

I used to criticize
The eyes
Of those I knew
Who, at
Drops of a hat
Shed tears of ardor: God-knows-what.

Ascribing it
To vitamins and lack thereof,
Past, present and/or too much ‘love’.
Too something/something out of balance;
Nothing but a prevalence
Of yin or yang
Ganging up
On both those ducts.

Uncaring and unfeelingly –  I used to be.
Now, at eighty-three it’s me.
I may need hormone therapy.
Or is it age sagacity  -
Unmotivated tears
Based on a grasp of life’s chimere
That takes in all -
An all which makes one engineered
By tears
One must defer to.

Unmotivated Tears 4.24.2018 I Is Always You Is We; Nature Of & In Reality; Circling Round Aging; Arlene Corwin

Unmotivated
to go out
so...
It's curried fried eggs
tonight!

Saturday alone on a love seat
for two with my roommate
plucking away at twisted nickel
across the room.

Unshowered, unmotivated,
a maybe Monday.

My clean laundry's a footrest
for ***** feet fresh off the
almost autumn asphalt.
Come visit us.

Be unshowered and unmotivated
on this maybe Monday.

Don't worry, the door's unlocked.
There's just a few hundred
flamingos waiting to get in,
but they should move

at the sound of your unshowered,
unmotivated, maybe Monday footsteps

She lays on her bed,
Blinking at her ceiling,
Running from the sun,
Very unmotivated

The back up with
A crooked neck bent
   Towards Hell
While his lips tightened sternly
   as a Victorian urn.

His face barely recognizeable
   ever since the penny-doppler showered
A wandering click
   that skipped
      no birds on his fence.

In a glass paned massacre, forever fossilized
between childhood bullies and prom-night feel-ups,
there was a consciousness that feigned
once a week, cockled in creationism and the Eucharist.

His passions -- clam shells flanked by the ripping tide.
His intellect -- a solitary warble amid ***** blue notes.

A highly unmotivated
Individual

I think I'll go down
To Marshall's

To buy
2 pairs of shorts

And some socks

Perhaps some boxers  
Too

Maybe then I'll go read
The Bible in the nature park

America is doomed

You go on your own
But you don't want to
Its crowded and loud
And the groaning and moaning
Only serves to dishearten you

You're told that is good to go
But the pain your body feels
Tells you that's not so
You can leave if you want
But you don't want to appear weak

When you finally decide to quit
Your body beaten down and sore
There is no sense of accomplishment
Just the nagging pain in your limbs
That tells you you can't take much more

You shuffle your feet
As you head to the door
Trying not to show any pain
And concentrating on not falling to the floor
As you get into your car
And wonder,

Why did I join a gym?

i am a plastic bag floating upon the waves of an ocean
simply allowing them to carry me wherever i am destined to go

capable but unmotivated,
love being different, hate being misunderstood,
impulsive long term planner.
strange mix of super private and open book.
rational yet unrealistic.
great at giving advice, bad at following it.
arrogant, but painfully aware of my flaws
sure of myself, yet unassuming
introverted extrovert,
rigorous yet care-free,
perpetual loner with tons of friends.
energetic but lazy,
sensitive, yet cold hearted
gregarious yet studious,
intelligent but spacey,
personal, yet detached.
unhealthy, yet understanding therapist,
competitive mediator.
The optimist who just wants to see the world burn.
Where do I fit in?

Unmotivated by society,
Bored of this sobriety.
Let's go eye to eye and see,
Every single side of me.
Because without some thorough inspection,  
Emotion goes by
without detection.
Forgive and forget,
All that you can.
For without you,
I feel like I'm ******.
A forgotten man,
In a desolate land.
Has only one want
And that's to be yours,
Sometime
Within this life span.

I wake up every morning with this feeling of dread
Can't escape this groggy feeling left in my head
So I continue to just lay here in my bed
I don't even get up to eat I just sleep here instead
I lay and decompose as my skin starts to shed
Wasting away all the blood that I have bled
My arms dangling off the side drenched in red
My existence is pointless I might as well be dead
I don't care about anything I'm unmotivated this feeling embed
Sew my eyes and my mouth shut with needle and thread
Tie me down and pump my stomach with meds
Take a gun to my skull and fill me with lead
My sin is sloth you haven't misheard and you havent misread
I'm not okay don't believe those lies you've been fed

when i find myself with no motivation there's always a source
it's never just because i'm lazy,
or because it's too hard.

something is always hurting me inside and i can't do anything else

and it's you.

I don't know what to do because we will never be together
I've admitted it to myself and I can't believe it
I never believed anything you said because it didn't make sense

You don't want me?
But I don't understand.

I love you so much
more than the stars in the woods
more than any high i've ever felt
and i will take such good care of you.

I will spend every day trying to make you happy
and that will be okay because your smile is what fills my heart with that joy
that joy that can't be measured.

That feeling from so far and deep inside my chest that I can't even put it into words

But I love you so much
You don't want me?
I will never understand.

He was the warrior king.
He was known for being strong.
He was Mogar.

Shallow breaths passed through his lips.
Hot tears rolled down his cheeks.

Arms wrapped tightly around him.
Knees pulled close to his chest.

He tried to hold himself together.

How did he get here?

Unable to laugh or smile.
Unmotivated and unfocused.
Unable to sleep or eat.

An empty shell.

Devoid of all emotion but one:

Shame

He was ashamed.
Ashamed he couldn't push through.
Ashamed he wasn’t strong enough.
Ashamed that he was broken

He was the warrior king.