Seeing you happy,
traveling to a place
we once planned to go,
leaves a bitter taste
and makes my stomach tremble.
I wish I were there with you.
I feel I’ve lost so much
I feel I’ve lost
us.

I am the ocean, some call me the sea
I have many names in different languages
I  was one of the first things to be created
Life upon earth began inside of me

I have been around for so long, I have lost track
Of how many millions of years or even billions of years
Many creatures were born and lived inside of me
So many are lost forever, never to be seen

Man has been fascinated by my might and power
He has travelled upon my back to far-off lands
And if I am in an angry mood, I drag all
Who rides on my back into my belly, deep down

I was there before the land was created, long before
I can swallow all of the land, ask the ones inside of me
I am not an angry, menacing monster, please note
I am the sea, a massive collection of all the waters

When the river empties itself into me, it trembles
Water is like me, but my mighr terrifies it
Yet the river knows there is no turning back
It empties itself into me and becomes a part of me

As rough and as difficult
life may well be
it's still so deeply beautiful
down in the
philippines

The beauty of the village
might not be apparent
at first glance.
What deters at first
might be the killing
and the nature of a life
dictated by chance.

But once you start accepting,
adapting and reflecting,
you'll notice that it's just
the island way of living.

Nurture nature's native nest,
share what yield the fields have held,
food to feed for feeling folk,
care about your neighbors health.

Live in tune with natures wrath
but don't exceed her measure
stick to filipino paths,
thus warmth and generosity
will provide you with pleasure.

Red Horse Strong for everyone,
Tuba, Tanduay and San Miguel.
Menthols, **** and beetlenut,
you just have to treat us well.

Sabong's not for the soft,
it's difficult to watch.
Roosters duel over
who avoids the cooking ***,
blades fly through the air
and blood adorns
the sand with spots.
The winner stays a champion,
the loser's in a plastic bag, granting us that evenings dinner
and we've just made our money back.

Wet markets aplenty,
with fish you've never seen before.
Smells of seasalt, blood and gore,
mix to form a memory,
akin to sobering melody.

Watch out for the Aswang
and do not break a mirror.
Keep the deadbolt shut at night,
to avoid unpleasant surprises.

The ocean's at your doorstep
and so are the bananas
and the coconuts.

Skinny teens disguised with bandanas,
strapped, riding through the village.
Don't worry they're just cousins,
standing vigil, chasing cops.

Fistfight near the fish ponds,
neither one backs down.
Tilapia watch eagerly
for who'll sink to the ground.

Their brother came by earlier
selling pastries with his friend.
Buy three each for everyone,
your total's fifty cents.

Everywhere there's laughter,
music, sun and food.
Really nothing better
than the filipino mood.

At first light trudging through the Arctic Snow,
Is it for thrill or just a Facebook photo show?
As the Arctic wind buffets our flushed face,
The long-awaited walk soon becomes a shambles of a race.
Hands morph to splintered wood, eyebrows deftly freeze,
And yet the brochure promised we’d do this trek with ease.
Soldier on, embrace the frigid grind,
Pray aloud that inner fortitude to find,
Not a sound outside our laden breath,
Every move made with fractured hapless stealth.
But coupled to the cold a streaming sweat,
A larger wager would I not have surely bet,
That a saunter on the glistening Arctic Tundra
Would at most develop the art of soothing Mantra.

Then a booming voice disturbs this quiet introspection,
As the guide engages in frantic group inspection,
His walkie talkie comes suddenly to life,
Stern commands soon wailing shrill with strife.
Bears ahead with teenage cubs in tow,
Keep down, stay low,
Curb the chatter, pretend you’re but a stone,
Form a line, don’t venture out alone;
Rifle’s cocked, don't turn around,
Polar bears don't run - they bound.
Now move backwards, avoid their steely gaze,
Take full advantage of this soaring Polar haze.

Maybe minutes, but seemingly an age,
As we shuffle blindly stage by stumbling stage;
Our Dunkirk - the waiting rubber boats,
Ecstatic for anything that somehow runs and floats.
Back to the ship, sodden and quite sore,
Not to mention frozen to the epicenter of our core,
We huddle around cups of steaming tea,
Sharing stories of all we had to fear and see.
You may well ask, was this the fateful end,
Did we to natures will forlornly yield and bend?

It's true the thought did rather cross our minds,
Fearful of more unscripted scrapes and woeful binds,
However, a good sleep and liquid strength galore,
Did somewhat mollify that sorry shameful score.
For as dawn broke early the next day,
To a person did we in seeming chorus say:
Off we trudge as more adventure waits,
To experience all that Nature's majesty creates,
Our only thought one of craving more,
And so we went, still frozen to our core.

i drove west
until gas ran out &
the sky turned orange like it knew something
i didn’t —
the desert coughed up
ghost motels,
and i slept
with the windows down
because loneliness was warmer than the air.

i left on a tuesday because mondays felt too cinematic.
threw a bag in the backseat —  
socks, notebook, polaroid of no one
and drove until the road forgot how to spell my name.
some towns didn’t even have exits,
just rusted signs and dust thick enough to bury a prayer.

Peeing's easy
When I traavel,
From five days to a week.
I can piddle,
While you fiddle,
Dancing down the street.

But things do change
When I roam
From five days to a week.
Suffice to say,
On those days,
My bowels work best
At home.

I jumped the gun.
Made the playlist.
Planned the vacation.
Did the work.

Might as well go alone.

Watching old Anthony Bourdain
and I hope the uneaten food gets donated to his staff
like how the great feasts of young King Henry VIII
got thrown to poor, after He had a bite or two
of foie gras done 12 ways


Never mind
After all that's happened
Tony should be beatified
I remember laying on the floor of my parent's room
when I couldn't get to sleep in middle school
and we'd watch a back to back block of No Reservations
on a 13 inch box TV on their nightstand
The next thing we knew, people grew more open for a time
Wegmans' got sushi, and Dad loves it
The parents weren't so ashamed of the city they fled to the 'burbs from, just for a second
Took them to a bespoke restaurant during pride month
and they thought it was a gay bar
just because they flew a rainbow flag out front
They grew to welcome it
for a few years at least

Thanks Tony
Wish you were here
and I had more to say about that
than a ******* postcard script
Your voice is still echoed in my house
on an endless nightmare streaming channel
kept on mostly for my chiweenie
You'd be horrified, but
still I know your take
could help reinvigorate our hope in a connected world today