You aren't enough
You can see that
Every time you look in the mirror
Your reflection stares back
Pointing out
Every
Single
Flaw
There's so many
You talk too loud
You speak too much
And you always say the wrong thing
You aren't pretty
You aren't smart
Your grades show that clearly
You're definitely not popular
The way you search for a table at lunch
And no matter what anyone says
You aren't enough

How cruel is it for God to give me wings.
Amongst all the other petty things?
And still bind me to the Earth,
Avoiding my death, same as my birth.

Three times I fell,
Three times I broke into hell.
A fourth one there shall not be.
No more, will the night listen to my plea.

As heavy rains poured from the stars,
I swore that this world would be ours.
My lies were too well glazed.
You left my insides completely razed.

These lungs can’t hold any more water.
My blood boils, and it’s only getting hotter.
Ice can hold only so much,
My soul is also, such.

Get off my back, ok?
I've got heaps of homework
I've got a practice internal
which looks completely difficult
I've got to pack for a field trip
even though I don't have all the things, but I'll make do
All of which has to be completed in two days.

I've been exhausted,
Haven't been getting enough sleep
I'm not ready for the pressure of school
My mind isn't on that level yet
Woken up this morning,
Nagged to do lots of things
As if this pressure isn't enough already.

It's only 9:50AM,
My day's starting to go down hill,
It's turning to ****.
Can't you see that I'm stressed out?
Can't you see I've got enough on my plate?
Can't you see I'm fighting back tears?
Can't you see I'm trying to motivate myself to do everything else?
Are you trying to bring me to my breaking point?
It sure as hell feels like it!

It makes me want to scream,
Throw things,
Yell and hit,
I want to have a break from all this,
Get away until I calm down
Can everything just be easy?

But I'll square my shoulders and hold my head high,
You won't see me cry.
No one will see me cry.
I'm not going to lose it,
I won't make a mess.
I'll handle it
Do my work,
Prepare everything
And try be positive.
I just need my headphones,
That's all I need
To block everyone out
And get things done.

Please,
Stay off my back?
All I ask for is two days.
Two days
Without extra pressure,
Please?

l.v.s

What you give me is what I receive,
The feelings overloading and essentially controlling me are forcing the inner version of myself to ignore thee,
Block off anyone who interferes with my life in the smallest of ways.
Stress is enough,
I can no longer think straight.
Consistently titling to both ends of our path,
I thought the starting would lead us somewhere beyond the fan stays of great,
But I was kicked and left in the dust with the others,
The prophecy unveiled itself,
I was right since the beginning, but my witless gut remained oblivious to my emotionally unstable self and instead stayed behind with the real you.
I grew attached to you, thinking everything for once would finally accumulate into one enjoyable entirety,
But you shattered me both internally and externally,
Now all I can focus on is how to fix these pieces back together.
Before I loose touch upon myself once more,
I ask anyone for forgiveness, begging on my knees for all to please.
I wish to give the little portion of my purity and happiness to you, now, am I considered the wrong and careless one?
Or are you, the heartless form of me?

Into The Night

Lost in a pattern of thoughts,
as these experiences continue to shape our realities,
fell in love gave my heart away,
and watched it disappear with her into the night,

too much heartbreak,
too much more,
too much greed and lust,
too much wanting too much more,

is that even correct English,
does it even matter,
it seems I’m frozen in a moment,
but the words just continue faster and faster,

fck you,
fck me,
I mean,
that in the most loving way,

we’re all fckt up,
the plan is no more,
we’re lost in a position of indecision,
where there is no either or,

lost in a pattern of thoughts,
as these experiences continue to shape our realities,
fell in love gave my heart away,
and watched it disappear with her into the night…

∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆

Often times, it's the person sitting right in front of you.
Smiling and laughing and cracking jokes.
The one that's always the first to ask how you're really feeling.
The one who will sit with you in silence,
Or let you scream to them your frustrations.
The one who will give you a shoulder, an ear, a hug, anytime you need it.
The one who is always there, and never judging.
People don't often see their pain, because they've become so good at hiding it.
So they keep smiling too big,
and laughing too long,
and letting people soak their shoulders with their salty tears.
Because, unfortunately,
Depression targets the ones that feel too much,
until they feel nothing.

It’s too much
Too much to think
To write
To dive
Not yet
I’m not ready
To dive
To think
I wasn’t then and I’m not now

I cry harder and harder and harder thinking that each tear
Will rid my brain of these memories 

Drain them
Erase them
Piece by piece
It’s too much
To dive
To start again
This endless cycle
This **** endless cycle
Take them all away dear God I scream
It’s too hard to think
To feel
To think
To dive
To feel
To reminisce

The only thing my body can do is tire itself by trying to release a pain that my heart
My heart
My tired heart will always hold onto

You are an open wound in my soul that will never heal

Each thought of you spills more alcohol into the depths of this ****

You are the lesson I learned
The one that stuck 

Dear God I scream
Dear God let me not have a daughter
I could not bear to watch her die and dive and fall and crash
Slowly and all at once thinking it’s fate and love and heaven and hope 
And everything and anything in between

Dear god I’m too tired
Too broken
I’ve lost my voice
Screaming
Breaking

You haunt my heart
My mind, heart, and soul
Because you will always be the one who broke me.
----

but can it be transformed?
can the piles of bones form waves
and crash into beauteous palettes of marble?
can the deepening cracks in the concrete
be filled from the top and forgotten?
i think they would reappear much sooner.

lately it’s been good to think
and once the mind has wandered off
does it have the courage to stay lost?
because i think it’s funny –
the pain of trying to hard to find a place –
consumes the soul much more, it seems,
than thriving in the uncertainty
of being content while still feeling lost.

can the wires be untangled
if the ends are saudered shut?
can we pull apart the fibers
and recreate landscapes we thought
were places we’d like to visit.

i don’t want to believe the places i’ll find
are perfect mirrors at this point in time
and my arrival will shatter the equilibrium

but if that turns out,
i will hold my breath
and put the pieces back in a mosaic
and color the shards with my tears.

I'm exhausted from running,
Away from every stalking fear,
I'm so busy avoiding chances,
I don't have time to stop and see clear,

And although I don't know why,
I'm scared of what we'll become,
I'm scrambling to keep my distance
but what is there to run away from?

Even with reassurances,
and promises that you won't leave,
I just can't bring myself to give in;
Its just too risky to believe.

I trust you with all of my head,
and every piece of my soul,
but for some unknown reason,
My heart isnt willing to lose control.

Maybe because ive been hurt before,
and im not eager to relive,
The endless days that would ensue,
Or the damage you could give.

I would love to surrender,
To everything you make me feel,
but without a guarantee,
How can I be sure it's real?

The familiar need is coming back,
I'm addicted to your touch,
Which wouldnt be a problem if,
I didnt already care too much.