I am tired of the tiredness itself
which is even to tired to consume me,
so that I could go through the digestive system of tiredness
and come out again,
at least those parts of me,
that the bowels of tiredness can't digest.

a blue
hue
disperses
pain
in
my
veins
i
see
my
pale
reflection
in
purple
dewdrops
i
don't
know
why
impassive
moments­
are
icy
fogs
i
was
tired
of being
tired
from the
onset
of depression
i
am
fed
up with
my
ennui

I’ve been asleep
inside my head
my pillow is soft
but my blanket like lead
falling off
it slips
I doze
My feet come cold
my toes
exposed
I tug and turn
inside my dream
I pull and stretch
and tear the seam
And in my sleep
I spill the wind
dreams of
frosts that ****
and a sun that grins
Now with the chill
against my chest
I wake with eyes
that find no rest
between winter sheets
I’m as cold as dead
It’s just a leak
in my waterbed

Why does the water tastes bitter?
Why does the wind smells acrid?
Why does the sunshine looks gray?
Why does the days feel empty?

I beg on my knees
For people to stay
The people I want to stay the most
Are the ones I am better without
Please don't go
Is what I have said to people I thought were my forever
Please don't break my heart
I am done begging
For the attention, you don't want to give
Don't give me hope
I give 100 percent to people
Make time for them
Comfort them
But who's there when life hits me
I have my amazing family
But I only want to tell them so much
Music is key
Writing poetry is great
It's words that you truly feel
It ***** when everything around you is great
But mentally you feel off
I feel broken
Even though you could look at my life
And say what does she have to be sad about
I wish I knew why I feel so sad
I'm tired
Nothing really interests me anymore
The things I once loved I don't anymore
I am going to bring back that happy girl
She is somewhere
I will fight to be happy again
There will be no more confusion with my tiredness and sadness