This is my favorite dress.
I bought it from a store I managed on Haight Street in San Francisco when I was 24.
It was a sample, one of a kind and I felt like a fairy in it.
It required no bra and I required no restrictions. We were a good match for each other.
Some might say it looks delicate as the lace flutters around my thighs, but, I know. This dress sat on sidewalks chain smoking cigarettes in the Castro. It danced in drug induced trances with new and old friends where we lived like sardines.
This dress moved to NEw York City with me and we endured cat-calls and harsh words. A casting director called me plain in this dress. He explained, to a room full of people, wasn’t it amazing how my talent shown so bright while I was so very plain. And as I walked along side Madison Square Park I saw myself shining in car reflections and my dress told me I was beautiful, and I knew it was right, and that man was insane.
In New Orleans I was invited to a party and I went because I didn’t know anyone. I was New. I wore my favorite dress and as I put it on I thought of the cold California beach breeze grazing my underwear throwing up my skirt, I thought of that mad man calling me plain, and I thought how scary it is to go to this party alone. I rode my bike in the humid air and I felt my pink slip clutch my waist. I felt safe. I sang a song out load. I felt like me. And when I got there you were there. You looked at me like I wasn’t just my dress or what was under it. You told me one truth and one lie and it made me smile. And now when I turn to my favorite dress like an old friend, for comfort or confidence, you are in its history too.

This winter wonderland puts me in a trance;
Imagining a life not yet lived; a little glance.
But slumber keeps calling my name.
Snowflakes kiss the air, and glitters all around.
But slumber keeps calling my name.
Seeking the comfort of all things warm; you will find me under blankets and with coffee for days...
But slumber keeps calling my name.
And soaking in the moments I have with those, whom I adore,
I look to brush time away once more,
But slumber keeps calling my name.
As the evening creeps in,
I am pensive as the bustle slows down, and the silence inhabits the cold,
Slumber inhabits me too...

"You don't just walk away when it gets tough babe! You work it out together when it comes to relationships and lov...tha...peerrrsonnn..." (her voice)

Yeah,
But I guess I was just dreaming
You see I wrote this first part weeks before the news
Because it was you - I still believed in
Regardless of the paid respects
You can't buy someone's love for any less
Can't clean up the previous mess
I was the problem when I had you at ya best!
(Dayum)
I hate the way you would avoid a text
The truth was between the lines
But the lies were all that were left
Thought I was drowning in your eyes but really it was just time for me to reflect
Ended things calmly but feel like I was just  in a vortex
Can't be afraid of goodbyes when hellos seem to be the hardest

Truth is I wish I deserved it
Asking all the time to see her only to get curved in
Silent treatment to someone who only tried to treat ya
Knowing her life was getting tough and I was trying to keep ya.

Tell me who was trying to push away who?
Maybe March 17th was the last time I really met you.
And I don't believe that the last time we spoke that was really you
Sometimes **** just gets hard and you gotta get thru.

(And I know you'll make it)

Can't give into love's strain and conviction
I hate that I love you...without the realization of my false contradictions.
Given up on me - yet, add another to the list
My mind boggles these days but not in the thought of you - but when things with us took a sudden switch
Crazy to think you give someone everything you got to just be forgotten
The way you handled those last few weeks were foul girl - spoiled rotten.

Why comeback only to leave?
To showcase who you "truly" are but only for yourself to see?
To reach out to someone who just can't be reached
This seems to be a pattern of one's personality
I don't need clarity.
The pen is loaded - the target is set
Why can't I pull the trigger!?
You quit on us and deserve the shots!
Why am I trying to be bigger!?
...
Cause I've learned a lot
Took some deep breaths
saw what was hurting me temporarily instead of making me feel blessed
This isn't shade
This is honesty and telling the truth of ones false reality
A lot of stars in the sky but figured you and I were the brightest in the galaxy

This letter to you is for you to see what you can do to someone when you make decisions based off emotions
Stop pulling the next person with you just because you can't swim in your own painful ocean
Let go of that anger
You're too pretty to frown
Let go of her legacy too - you won't make the same mistakes when you finally fall in love and pick out a gown.

Disappointment - for sure but you live and you learn
Need to stop holding on to the firey moments
Maybe that's why it's so hard to let these memories burn.
Lessons were taught and two people found growth within each other
Let's not pretend like we are rooting for us to simply find another.
Our bond was special
But the timing was off
We'll never know what could've been
And sadly that's our loss
I only want the best for you
And that's on my heart
I'd be lying if I said I saw the day wed truly fall apart

But

At times I wonder - when it all unfolded that day,
did I say all that I needed?
why didn't I beg you to stay?
Cause you loved the old me and I'm a different person these days.
Still hard to look at the woman you loved
And tell yourself it's time to walk away.

You wipe ya face quickly - put up a smile...and just go....(eachos out)

But doug wait...
Hol up let me quickly say my final word
If this piece ever reaches you i need this part to be heard
I love you to death and would re up with you in a second
If you were mad after reading this you didn't decipher the love from pain in this message
I pray for you all the time, hope you get all the good you deserve and tell god to keep you safe from any harm or danger
But I gotta leave ya on this final note
"If only we could go back again...and become strangers."

Thank you (echoes out)

Winter is a beautiful season.
Playing ice on land in London,
Enjoy without worry or reason
In Icy cold weather without sun.
Winter is a beautiful season.

Eating cherry, berry or bun
Gives us a lot of merry fun,
No use is there of shotgun
As there it is difficult to run.
Winter is a beautiful season.

I enjoy such months, Oh Mann!
Really joy comes to me in tonne;
With papa or mamma no unbun.
All enjoy – Pari or daughter or son.
Winter is a beautiful season.

I'm fifty-one shades of ****** up
And thirty-two flavors of freak
Every instinct I have is corrupt
Including the words that I speak

I'm one hundred and one crazy dogs
And sixty-nine perverts in one
My existence goes against all odds
But the list is nowhere near done

There's thirteen reasons why I cry
And ninety-nine problems I've got
One of them’s the way I long to die
And the way my insides rot

I'm four seasons of misunderstood
And seven layers of bad luck
Cuz the bad always shoves out the good
So why should I give a ****?!

There's six, six and six demons I hold
From fifty-two weekly mistakes
My secrets are often always told
So I get used to the heartbreak

I'm two hundred and twelve wildfires
With three point one four percent logic
I only have primal desire
So the rest of me is toxic

I'm fifty-one shades of ****** up
And thirty-two flavors of wild
I've gone beyond the normal “corrupt”
And beaten Christian Grey’s style.

A sorcery
of flying
heels that
extol porphyry
that has
gemstone wheels
as topographic
glance never
enhance more
than now
this romance  
sweeter than
yore in
her parts
of ******
desire ground
in philosophy.