endless weight
and the stars still shine

sickening pressure
yet my heart still beats

deep down
enslaved raging butterflies

its too much
anxious heat

no relief
it goes on and on

a dramatic end?
endearing yet frightening

Pull back iron curtains
Walk through walls of beads
Open the door to experience

Overzealousness is misunderstood
And you've misunderstood it if you're overzealous

Hippies, Social Justice, Radical Terrorism

Pacifists are babies and babies need pacifiers
Says a hellraiser that would rise to heaven if only he rose above

Swing the pendulum from left to right
And you'll see that whoever picked a side
Was stupid

That's why I prefer Foucaults
Take a trip around the world for once

See every face over time
Clock faces make good mirrors
If you'd like to reflect on the past

Truth hurts
Warfare and peace
Left wings and right wings never helped us fly
But everyone is high on something
They're all guaranteed altitude sickness

Parties
Races
Countries
Politics ruin culture

This world has been sawn into concrete squares
Everyone is boring and good luck changing something that's set in stone

My heart won't slow down
and I want to laugh,
it's ridiculous how after all these years
you still cause my heart to melt
and I hate it.
I should be over this,
I should be over you.

White boy
With your inherent privilege
Straight.
White.
Boy.
Privilege.
Please, make another joke
About ****** harassment
No, really
It's funny right?
Especially because you're joking that
Your male coworker is sexually harassing you
Gay jokes are funny too, huh?
Ironically,
That's the same male coworker
Who I had to explain
Just hours beforehand
How the ****** encounter he described
Did not include informed consent
How fitting.
So,
White boy,
I'm curious how you'll fare
After I told the manager
About the content of your jokes
(Not the proudly homophobic one,
Luckily?
Right.)
Who then looked uncomfortable
But seemed pleased when I told him that
I had already called you out
Because that means he doesn't have to
Because he wouldn't anyways
It doesn't affect him
Just some harmless humor
Ok.
So then I tell my coworker about your joke
Who then responds with:
"He's still doing that ****?"
Apparently so
Apparently.
So.
Because no one there seems to care
About jokes that put me
The only person at work read as a girl
(Which I'm not by the way)
In an extremely uncomfortable position
Why is no one else uncomfortable?
Why does no one else say anything?
Right,
They're all like you
Or they don't want you to judge them
Because you have that power
Because you're a
Straight.
White.
Boy.

I do not know at all
what does it mean to know
I do not know what I mean
I do not know what it means to lie
and give truth and truth
which does not exist at all
and there was never in the world

I do not know what it means to be
to be or not to be but possible
be smart or stupid
that's just how the question stands
that's just how you can be
great if we are already at the same time
greatness and awfulness
inferior worth

I do not know I do not know at all
what does it mean to know and be
I do not know what it's like to be
and I do not know what is nothingness
what is happiness and what is
misfortune in this world
and even light for me is emptiness
remains empty until the end of life

25.07.18

just say it,
you don't want me like I want you
you slip between my fingers
like sand,
I start to grip
and you slip right though
until all I'm left with
is little grains of you.

you'd walk away,
and never turn back
you'd forget about me almost instantly
cut me off, delete me from your life

in fact,

I wouldn't be surprised if you've already started
had your fun before you departed
and now, like weaning an infant off
a mothers breast
slowly and surely,
you'll put this to rest.

you say you love a writer but
these words could never be true
for you don't want me,
like I want you.