she hides who she really is
under pretenses of laughter and joy
when inside
her thoughts spiraling
as she gets colder and colder
quieter and quieter
thinner and thinner
until all that remains is a gaunt shadow
of what they thought she was
she slowly starts to disappear
as sun turns to fallen leaves and fallen leaves to snow
they start to not notice her anymore
start to forget
the one who once brought in so much life
is now just existing, barely living
trying to hold on as
it becomes a struggle just to wake up in the morning
to bring the fork to her mouth
to leave the house
to talk
as she becomes
smaller and smaller
her thoughts withering her away
until there is nothing left
but dust.

I'm … " WATCHING YOU " … !!!    
Like You … " WATCH ME " … !!!  
    
It's Really NOT COOL …    
To Watch Me Like A THIEF ... !!!?!!!    
    
Now This Story Happened To Me …    
    
I'm In The Post Office Looking In My Pockets …    
Minding My Business But As God Is My Witness … !!!    
    
A White Lady Was YES … " WATCHING ME " …    
A Box To My Right Was … " Unattended " …    
    
This Woman Made A Move ...    
That'll Prove My Point To You ... !!!    
    
She Came Towards The Box …    
Of Course I WASN'T Shocked … !!!    
    
But Then Another Woman …    
Came Back With QUICKER Movement … !!!!!    
    
It Was CLEAR The Box Was HERS … !!!!!    
But Then The First Woman Made The Matter WORSE … !?!    
    
She said,    
    
"You shouldn't leave your things so carelessly !"    
    
At This Point It Was CLEAR That She ...    
Was Referring To ... ME … !!!!!    
    
At This Point I Was … " Cool " …    
    
But Just COULDN'T Refuse … !!!    
To Start To Use My Voice … !!!    
    
I Said To … " Lady Two " …    
    
"I think it's clear, her view,    
she thinks that i'm a villain !    
So, what's a guy to do ?"  
    
THIS WOMAN Then Replied …    
    
"That's not what she implied !"  
    
So This Was When My Time Was Spent …    
EXPLAINING CERTAIN Things To Them … !!!    
    
"What would make you think, that I'm ignorant ?    
Please state you case, and your defence !    
You need to use some, common sense !    
Acts like these may be well meant,  
but may just cause someone offence !"    
    
Both Ladies Then Were CLEARLY TENSE … !!!    
    
Because I Posed … " Certain Questions " …    
    
"Am I a thief, do you believe ?    
A box can ease my poverty,    
or, hold the keys to my being free ?"    
    
Of Course They Used The … " OLD EXCUSE " … !!!  
    
"Think that way if you want to !    
It's clear my dear, you have no proof !"  
    
I Guess That's True … ???    
    
But … ???    
    
What Would You Do … ?    
If Someone Did These Things To YOU … ?!?    
    
"WATCHING" …. Yes Your EVERY MOVE … !?!    
    
Most People Would Agree With Them …    
And Say ... "It's me, who's got the problem !" ...    
    
I Guess I HAVE … !!!    
    
When People JUDGE The Way I STAND … ?!!!?    
    
It Starts To Touch My Will To CUSS ... !!!!!    
    
"Why you watching me, am I that ugly ?  
Oh sorry, of course, I look scary, and    
clearly some, think i'm a thief !"    
    
This Exemplifies Why … " Society " ...    
Has Got Such … " IMPROPRIETIES " … !!!!!    
It's Hard Enough For Blacks To Steer CLEAR of Police … !!!!!    
    
They're WATCHING Us Waiting To … " Cuff " … !!!    
And Nowadays SHOOT Their … Rather BIG Guns … !!!!!    
    
WITHOUT The NEED of PROOF ...    
To … Make Their Move .… !!?!!    
NOT … ALWAYS True … !!!    
    
SOME Do Their Do Without Abuse …    
But Trust In This It's Only A FEW … !!!!!    
    
Some People Now Are Acting FOUL … !!!    
And Are HOLDING Views That AREN'T  So Cool … !!!    
    
A Man At A Till In … " Sainsbury's " …    
Was NOT SO THRILLED When Seeing ME … !!!!    
    
I Was Standing WAY BACK ….....    
About …….. Eight Feet …….. !!!  
As He Paid His Bill Waiting Patiently …....    
    
He Was Gonna Tap In His …. " Chip and Pin " ….    
But Looked OVER His Shoulder As If I Had Moved Closer ...    
    
He Gave Me THAT LOOK As If I Was A CROOK … !!!!!    
    
Now ONCE AGAIN ...    
Most Would DEFEND This Mans' Movements … !!!    
    
But … Take A Sec … !!!    
Where's Your … " Common Sense " … ?!?    
    
" Chip and Pin " ... ISN'T My Invention … ?!!!?    
This Was Done By Scientists And Governments … !!!!!!    
    
THINK It Through To STEAL From You …    
I'd NEED To Have Some Pretty Good Tools … !!!!!    
    
Your Pin Number May Be … " MISUSED " … !!!!!    
By Those Who Sit In … " Rooms With VIEWS " …    
    
Big Brother's ALWAYS WATCHING YOU ... !!!!!!    
While YOU Seem To Think You NEED TO WATCH ME … ?!?!?    
    
.... THINK About It Chief …. !!!  
    
I Suggest You Use CASH If You Feel Like THAT … !!!    
But I Guess You'd Rather TRUST Your Bank ... ?!?    
    
" Embezzler huh ? " …  
    
I'm NOT THAT MAN " … !!!    
    
Your FOOLISH Fears Are NOT Well Steered … !!!    
WATCH THEM BEFORE Your Bank Account's CLEARED ... !!!    
    
It's Happening NOW And You May FROWN …    
If You FIND That YOU'VE Been CLOWNED ... !!!!!!!!  
    
By Those Who KNOW ...    
How Much You OWN And Where it GOES …  
Highs And Lows Which Goes To Show …    
We CLEARLY HAVE Some Ways To Go … !!!!!!!!!    
    
Before We See Some UNITY …    
    
From The Post Office To Going Shopping …    
It's CLEAR Some People Are INTENT On …    
    
.….. " WATCHING " …...

in the midst
of it all
despite the
foundation
being of
toxic ground

a flower
found its way
to bloom
after plentiful
struggles

i am
that flower

Shine on most brilliantly my bold, brave lass
Whine no more over misgiving's past
White robe awaits after crucible's blast.
Write of your struggles to all whom this life batters
Trite experiences included, for your testimony matters.

The only thing I can’t escape.
My own worst fear.
What I don’t trust.
The one I wish wasn’t here.

I'm Building Blocks ...  
While Those On Top ...  
Prefer To .... " BLOCK " ....  

That's ILLOGICAL ...
Ask ... " Mister Spock " ... ?!?!?  
  
Human Nature Goes With DANGER ... !!!  
As It Now Does With Greed For Paper ... !?!  
  
Paper Used By Corporate Crews ...  
You Can't Eat Cash Try Eating FOOD .... !!!  
  
Those Are Words For GREEDY Fools ... !!!  
  
Those Who Choose ...  
To Now MISUSE ...  
This Thing Called Cash ...  
  
Then Wonder WHY ... ???  
Stock Markets CRASH ... !?!  
  
That's NOT ME Believe I'm Cool ...  
  
But Greed Gives Clues ...  
As Do These Shady Money Crews ... !!!!!!  
  
There Are Some Moves ...  
We Should Not Use ... !!!  
  
Like BLOCKING Views ...  
Or BLOCKING Those Who Raise Issues ...  
  
Because One Day ...  
You May Block Things That Benefit YOU ... !!!  
  
So What's A Guy Supposed To Do ...  
When People Try To BLOCK The Truth ... !?!  
  
Especially From Our Wayward Youth ... ???  
  
It Seems So Strange To Play These Games ...  
  
Those Who BLOCK ...  
Are Bound To ROT ...  !!!!!  
  
And May End Up ...  
Somewhere REAL HOT ... !!!!!  
  
Devilish Moves Are Just NOT Shrewd ... !!!!!  
  
Why Be Like THAT ... ?!?  
These CLOSED DOOR Clans ...  
Are NOT SO Nice ...  
And Want To KEEP ...  
The BIGGEST Slice ... !!!!!  
  
They'll Pay The Price ...  
For ... Blocking Plans ...  
That They Devise ...  
Cos' Moves They Make ...  
Are ... Just NOT Wise ... !!!  
  
Just Look At Jobs ...  
  
Fools Who Block Tend To Get Knocked ...  
And Move Themselves Into ... "TIGHT Spots" ... !!!!!  
  
How Many Times Do People Find ... ?  
That People Who Have Had Paths BLOCKED ...  
Work Their Way Right To The TOP ... !!!!!!  
  
While Those Who Try To Make Them Flop ...  
Are BITTER Til' The Day They're BOXED ... !!!!!  
  
Why Do They Try To HOG Top Spot ... ?  
  
Egos Leave Them On The Rocks ... !!!!!  
And YES You've Guessed They Eventually FLOP ... !!!!!!  
  
And Doors They've BLOCKED ...  
Become ... UNLOCKED .................................................................­  
  
Check Out Bruce Lee In The ... " Big Boss " ...  
  
The STRONG Will Face A Fool Who Blocks ... !!!!!  
And This Results In Loss of Blood And Similar Stuff ... !!!!!  
  
DON'T ... Huff and Puff ...  
And Make ... DUD Plots ... !!!  
  
Those Who Block Get Double Crossed ... !!!!!  
Some Oh Yes ... Will Call Your Bluff  
And Make You Scream ...  
  
... " I've had enough ! " ...  
  
And Then Break Up ...  
Your ... "Private Club" ... !!!  
  
I'd Rather Shake Hands ...  
And Enter Into ... " Conversations " ....  
To ... BUILD On Blocks And STRENGTHEN Plots ... !!!!!  
  
Those Who Block Should ... Take A Sec ...  
STOP And CHECK How Corporations Cash BIG Cheques ... !!!  
  
They MERGE To Get Those Big RETURNS ... !!!  
And Build STRONG Herds So They DON'T BURN ... !!!  
  
Those Are Words From Which TO LEARN ...  
  
To Now Exist ...  
We NEED To Study ...  
  
.... " Capitalists " .... !!!  
  
And Then RESIST Dumb Ego Trips ... !!!  
Words Like This Leave Folks Equipped ...  
To Do What's Right And YES ... UNITE ... !!!!!!  
  
Black And White And Asian Types ...  
Need To BLOCK Our STUPID Fights ... !!!  
  
UNITY HELPS ... Humanity ... !!!!!  
  
While This Word GREED Leaves Some To BLEED ... !!!  
And That's Something ... People DON'T NEED ... !!!!!!  
  
See ...  
EVEN Those In Poetry ...  
Seem ... KEEN To BLOCK ...  
A Man Like  Me ... ?!?  
  
I Guess That's Cos' My Poetry Is So DEADLY ...  
And Because Of Course I'm So SCARY ... !!!  
  
I Figure That's What Racists See ... ???  
Why Harbour Such Hypocrisy ....  
  
We're Here To Share Our Views FREELY ........................................  
  
But Some It Seems Are Blocking FIENDS ... !?!  
Who ... DON'T Believe In Building Teams ...  
  
They Believe In CONTROLLED Speech ...  
And CLEARLY Are The ... " Bourgeoisie " ... !!!  
  
They Normally Preach ...  
And Sadly Now Too Many Teach ... !!!!!  
  
No Wonder Kids ...  
Prefer The Streets ...  
  
The Youth Now NEED REALITY ...  
Cos Many Face BRUTALITY .... !!!!!!  
  
That's Something ...  
We NEED TO BLOCK ... !!!!!  
  
Cos' Time Ticks On .........................  
  
Sep... ar ... ation  
  
NEEDS To ... " STOP " ... !!!!!  
And Then Death Tolls ...  
Might FINALLY ... drop ...  
  
I'd Rather Connect Than DISRESPECT ... !!!!!!!!!  
  
BLOCKERS NEED TO OPEN UP ...  
And Reject ... " LESS " ... !!!!!!  
  
And Let Their Egos ...  
... Take A Rest ... !!!  
  
I Guess My Words May Make Them Vex ... !?!  
Because My Views Are SO Direct ... !!!!!  
And DON'T Protect Their ... "SECRET Sect" ... !!!  
  
But When I See The Way They Be ...  
It Makes Me Write THIS Poetry ... !!!!  
  
I'll Say It AGAIN ... !!!!!!  
  
BUILDING Teams And  UNITY ...  
Will Help To Make That CASH MONEY ... !!!  
  
And Help To Feed ...  
The Young Who NEED ...  
To See Grown People Who AGREE ... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
So They Can LEARN To STOP The ROT ... !!!!!  
  
And BUILD For EACH OTHER ...  
............ NOT Plot To ............  
  
.... " BLOCK " ....

There is a sweet familiarity with you
I know your hands and your face
I’ve seen them change as we age

If I close my eyes I can hear your voice
I know your words and how you say my name

There is a deep intimacy there
A long romance full of heartbreaks and highs

I miss the version of us that got along