i want to scream.
i want to cry.
i want to feel something other than the numbness that's overtaken my thoughts for the past 2 months.
i want to tell the people how they hurt me,
how they made me sob on sleepless nights until no more tears came out.
i want to conquer my fears, anxieties
but no.
i'm ******* numb.

why is the only thing i can think about pain?
i don't truly want to end it all

i just want to feel alive again.

I stopped writing

For awhile.

Because I found that when I write
It’s so real.
It’s like hearing back my own words from the lips of someone wiser

Not from a broken child,
But from a bitter miser.

I finally broke down every wall for You

And you picked up every single stone
Just to throw it back at me.........

11:11
is my favorite time.
a time for sweet hopes for the future
as i fall asleep once more.

i just wish that once in a while,
they'd come true

you are
my sunshine.
my love.
my rock.
my protector.
my big spoon.

you are the reason
for my smiles.
for the laughter through my tears.
for my sweet dreams.
for my hope and optimism in hard times.

i can't wait to marry you