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Samantha Renee Jun 2020
i want to scream.
i want to cry.
i want to feel something other than the numbness that's overtaken my thoughts for the past 2 months.
i want to tell the people how they hurt me,
how they made me sob on sleepless nights until no more tears came out.
i want to conquer my fears, anxieties
but no.
i'm ******* numb.

why is the only thing i can think about pain?
i don't truly want to end it all

i just want to feel alive again.
  Jun 2020 Samantha Renee
I stopped writing

For awhile.

Because I found that when I write
It’s so real.
It’s like hearing back my own words from the lips of someone wiser

Not from a broken child,
But from a bitter miser.
I am awake always
Painfully aware. I can’t sleep and I can’t quiet the noise in my head.
I finally broke down every wall for You

And you picked up every single stone
Just to throw it back at me.........
  Jun 2020 Samantha Renee
We lost each other,
By waiting,
Waiting for each other
To show they still cared.
But after all this time
We were poisonous
For each other
Loving the others taste.
  Jun 2020 Samantha Renee
I kept you warm
You turned me cold
You took the sun
No joy; behold

Ps: thanks Sir Jim.
Samantha Renee May 2020
is my favorite time.
a time for sweet hopes for the future
as i fall asleep once more.

i just wish that once in a while,
they'd come true
Samantha Renee May 2020
you are
my sunshine.
my love.
my rock.
my protector.
my big spoon.

you are the reason
for my smiles.
for the laughter through my tears.
for my sweet dreams.
for my hope and optimism in hard times.

i can't wait to marry you
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