The child fell in mid-July
When he held three rings
Rippling out from his bones.
His knew smiled a toothless
grin that dropped guts & goo
While the child screamed
Hoping that mother would set
Down her dishes and break
In half her paint brush. He hoped
That mother would stitch him back
Together. A scarecrow wears a costume
Of a strong superhero three months
Later with the help of rubber bands
And metal barbs.
The child fell in mid-July &
Left a scar but not a bruise.

i’ve kept your letters stored in a box, labelled
'reasons why you should never trust people
even when their actions match their words’
and i open them every once in a while, to remember
the reason why i let myself go in the pursuit
of something better, something better
(which i thought was real happiness until i realised,
a world without trust is a very, dark place.)
but a world with empty words and meaningless
promises is equally dark, and a world in which
you were no longer by my side was the darkest
world of all.

you are cigarette sticks just lit,
you are a fresh wound on an old stitch.
a disorder spun out of control,
watching as madness takes hold - clutch
breaks - what happens next - your
life begins to unfold. creases form like
scars that never quite leave, mistakes
we break, we drown and we bleed.
i can't live without them is the greatest
lie: love kills you from the inside out,
toxic chemicals rampage fire through
your veins: hooked, hooked, hooked
lined and sunk; funny how we continue
to live with it only because we die with it.

Watch this
You mumbled deep in slumber
Took your hand
Unzipped the skin just beneath
Your occupying ribs,
Slipped four fingers behind the walls
Of your cage (what does it hold
Does it protect or alienify?)
And wiggled them between the bars
Look at what I can do
I almost have it all figured out
If you tried
So would you

Johnny remembers the barn
He kissed his first cow in
It burned down two years ago

Johnny holds his head low
Pointing towards the floor
Pointing towards the door

He drinks homemade grape juice
And thinks about how odd
It is that we crush small things

And drink their blood

Johnny does not want to be crushed
He does not like the sinking feeling
He gets when he thinks about

The grey silo that still stands
By the dark patch of grass
That won't grow back again

He wishes the clock would stop
Talking at such a steady volume
Johnny has trouble sleeping

Ever since the barn burned down

A body was found in my home town.
They are calling homicide.
People I know are scared,
More than that,
They are paralyzed.
Worried that it could be them,
Danger lurking around every corner.

We lost three highschool students earlier this year.
It feels like life times ago.
I watched a whole city mourn together.
Even the streets seemed to weep.
And street lamps gave hugs.
I was sick from all the crying,
Sick from watching people break down.
Sick of the sadness that hung around.

I haven’t seen my own city streets in two weeks.
I don’t think I’d recognize them if I did.
They are shuddering in shadows,
Anxious for salvation.
But here I sit,
Wondering the age and race of the victim.
Desensitized to the reality of it all.

When three of my peers died this year I did not mourn them rationally.
I wondered what their corpses looked like.
If they had become gaunt with rigor mortis,
Or if they were still soft and supple as they had been all the times they did not acknowledge me.

I am sitting miles away from everything I grew up tracing in my mind,
Wondering how a nameless corpse looks on a cold metal slab.
Laughing at the people chasing ghosts over their shoulders.

Small towns are too easily rocked by tragedy.
I think I could knock mine over with a pinky finger.
This year has proved to me that the good die young,
And the young die loved.
I wonder who loved the man they found in the park.
Will he be just another ghost to haunt these grounds?

If I were to die right now,
They would find my body stiff in the morning.
I would be all rigor mortis,
Less soft girl next door.
I wonder who would have loved me.
Am I bound to just be another ghost haunting this town?

He'd say to me, "What if I died right now? What would you do?"
  In those seconds, between his question and my answer, they thoughts that ran through my mind were endless.

  I'd think, if you were to die right now, I would take take my life and easy last 1…2…3 breathes next to your corps, that way, our souls would be aligned and we would inevitably be together for always and eternity during life after death. Our shadows would be able to run free against the wind and we wouldn't have to worry about anything except our locking lips and dare to stare into each others eyes and baby everything, will be okay.

"What if I died right now? What would you do?"

  If you were to die right now, I would turn mute. For I do not want to speak the words of my mind if your name will be brought up constantly and I refuse to let the words of love and passion exit my lips if it is not towards you because mama told me never to lie, and I will not to the boys and to the men who say those words the way you once did and I. I would rip off the bracelet I made for you but never gave and never lay a hand on your sweatshirt ever again for the gorgeous scent of you would make me sick to my ******* stomach. I would shred any poem ever written in my notebook with the mention of your name, your laugh, your eyes, and your stupid, awkward ******* walk with anger and dismay. I would cut part of your body ever inked with your name in ballpoint pen with the blade hidden deep inside the walls of my pencil sharpener.
  Because you, are like the rain I adore so much in May and the reason I did not stop myself from breathing on nights that I felt so alone.

"What if I died right now? What would you do?"

  If you were to die right now,I would take the bus to the homes of the girls who 'cared for you' and I would kiss them. I would kiss their mouths, cheeks, jawlines, stomach, thighs, nose and arms so hard with my fist! They pretended to care about you when they never loved you! They never loved you like I loved and still love you! Nobody has ever and will never love you the way I do!

And I hope you know, that the reason I do not compliment you daily is because I'm not sure whether to start from top to bottom or bottom to top. I would try to make it easier and compare you to the most beautiful thing in the world but how do you compare you to yourself, I don't get it!

Would would I do if you died right now?!
I would loose my ******* mind because if such a magnificent crystal as yourself dies then why should somebody like me, so much as a pebble, deserve to live?!

What made you think that I was prepared for this question?!
What made you think that I was prepared to even think about loosing you?!

Dear; You,
   I get it that you and I did not last forever, but I cannot stand up to that ******* reality and face the fact that I already lost you!


So please, do not as me questions such as "What if I died right now what would you do?"


Because I have no idea