Those things look exactly the same
as everything else
Yet they seem to shine with an internal luster and a
glow that exceeds apathy

Those lips don't speak words of following
they speak words from the heart
This envy does rise up like the tide
I wish I don't play the part

Skipping stones skip and shout
Across the surface of a water that I'd rather not see
I turn my head away from the rest
In order to fit my second best
Into the gaping cracks left over in empty cartons and clanging bottles

Hear me call, dear oak
Mahogany heart
Let the light linger, yes please,
do
In the fading evergreen spirit and the glows of the birches
Humble me through the susurration of dusk

What I truly miss,
Is your soft, gentle kiss.

I thought the the burning
sensation beneath my lungs
were feelings of content
and a little bit of elation,
but what happened
to my gracious heart—
it leaps, for you,
but not in that way.

It springs down into a pit
of—no, not despair—of
despondence.
I no longer crave
for your touch
or your hug
or your lovely kisses;
I no longer crave
for your empty hands
that held my broken pieces.
I no longer crave
for your thoughts
nor your attention—
I no longer crave
for your everything
yet still, here I am:
thinking great heights
of  y o u
and how I still
longed for you to
look at me in the eye
and say, "I miss you."

Do I miss you, truly?
Or is this just pain
seeping through my eyes
in forms of tears
that cascade monstrously
down my soft features?

Bite my lips untill they bleed
Because I don't want to say a word
Pass the moment like a frayed lie
As we sit here staring into the abyss
Your eyes like glass and sand
Telling me the time is running out
Shut up, Don't you speak
I know you want to go away
And fade like wispy mentions
But tonight will last as long as your gaze
And I feel you cold like ice
Again a dead end turn around
Shes burying her own hatchet
Shes burying evidence of traitors
I feel cold and you have no warmth
So the night dies slowly with my hopes
And hope dies with your last words
Its over, ive lost my grasp on you
I've lost it because I gave it all to you

I must have done something incredible
to deserve a friend like you. My karma
has finally aligned... or maybe it
is just luck. Before you, my head would hit
the pillow and I would beg for softness
to embrace me, to take me from this world
of barbed edges and harshly sketched faces
and into a place with beauty and wonder.
Now, softness awakes me. There are no jagged
lines or vacant expressions here, only
smoothness and blurred dots for daylight behind
the smiling face of future.

I am very exhausted of trying to be small
fragile
soft
My eyelids have never felt heavier
I am lacking importance,
I have lost whatever it was that made me significant
to anyone at all