A cold winter moon

high above the rolling snow --


My heart starts pounding.

And she just wanted a little sunshine
Among this obscence malodorous mud.
She just wanted to hide in sun rays
From this dirtiness, from this crud.

And she just wanted to be joyful.
She wanted to laugh but not in hysterics,
That rippling laughter would wink with a smile.
She wanted a gladness, and no mysteries.

She also wanted a lot of snow,
So white, so huge, with snow banks!
But you found nothing better than damage all!
Aren’t you people? There’s nothing sacred!

And she just wanted a little happiness.
You were so stingy, and she would have shared.
She didn’t have grunge for you, she didn’t have meanness…
At the beginning… Look, what you’ve achieved that!  

Look, what you’ve turned the angel into.
She walks without the sun through the mud.
She’s lost, but she isn’t humiliated.
Why have you done all that to her, my God?!

All that she wanted was little sunshine,
A little warmth and simple happiness.
And you thought that it was ****** and silly.
You tore her soul to pieces! You’re merciless!

Torn to shreads, appalled and pained,
She still walks because she’s alive.
And you keep on spill all with mud,
Without seeing her, burn up and deprive.

On a cold November evening, she met herself
Her reflection was shivering; confident,
Her lips cold; her smile warm
On a cold November evening, she saw herself

Her eyes sparkled with humor in time with the gentle dance of the snow,
Each snowflake a waltz reflecting her mood
And she asked herself, how did you get here, me?
How did you escape your cage?

And she answered, oh darling, I never did.
The cage simply outgrew me, and the iron bars scraped my arms
I hurt myself no longer, but I still hurt
And yet it was all worth it, to see that look in your eyes

On a cold November evening, she walked away
Those iron bars so far from her hopeful face -
A cage so big she didn’t understand how she could ever leave
And yet the phantom pain on her arms was a promise
That this wasn’t forever.

Mug heat radiates
I boil in my regret
The phone is right there

At Switchback Coffee
Colorado Springs, C-O
April the nineteenth

dressed you for the rain
now this snow pelting pain
aww kid ! bad forecast

the 7 led me back to my God Given throne
where I didn't have to hide from the evilness of the world.

mother couldn't love me the way i deeply craved
life was so mean to me, i almost lost my wonder...
until the 7 led me back to my power.

i started at the root, where my sense of self had been forgotten.
they mirrored back to me all parts within me the darkness wouldn't let me see.
i found pleasure in doing the small things moment to moment,
my purpose now was to bring unconditional love into these parts alive in me i was now discovering.
all these mirrored parts in these 7 individuals
the happy part,
the grumpy part,
the escapist,
the hiding one,
the most sensitive one,
my higher self and
my inner child.

bringing all these parts within me together into my wholeness was a great threat to the evilness
because once I knew of the combined power of my fragmented parts, evilness could never keep a hold of me.

unbeknownst to me a spiritual attack sent me back into the darkness.
I was waking up too fast into my power, so they put me back to ignorant sleep;
dead to these parts i was
unaware, numb, disconnected
until I found my way back outside in
kissed back to life by an angel...another me.

I got resuscitated back into enlightenment,
reincarnated into the same body after my ego death.

the old story is gone, now, I have space to create more magic.
I am now living lovingly, simultaneously with all these 7 parts of me, but this time happily ever after!

baby blue skies cold
fresh snow covers soft earth
                growth awakening