Awake for hours on end
And for what?
What have I accomplished?

All I did was swim among the echoes of my memories
Desperately trying to recapture it's magic
All I've done is drown out the chaos of my brain
Through the songs of nostalgia that ring in my ear

But, that will all end with sleep.
Ah yes, the drowsy perfume of my bed
Will silence the pain
Through the enchanted images of my dreams

Yes, sleep will end it all
The half death of my soul will send me off into the next morning
To dance with death some more

Moss green wallpaper splashes past my open deck,
swirling and shooting like a dulled electrical current.
 
The gray sky is dripping in anticipation and fermenting with the washable universe,
covering us in a soft embrace that nudges our edge to a wonderful glow.
 
Flowers reaching, leaves bursting, hearts opening to the beautiful possibility of
dance throughout the day,
one step, then another, then another, twirling upon buoyant beds of Earth until the sun sets and we retreat into a bed of peace.
 
Slumber, hold, touch and discover; settling down to a deep place of dreams and joy.

Yes….

My friend the giant sleeps in a field
where dreams, posies and grass grow

The wind gusts blow over him and pass through
down to the meadow from which the water flows

From meadow to lake, from lake to sea
the wind and water walk by and by

Tidal forces drive one to drive another
by an eternal force that never dies

Through night and day all over the world
from skyscrapers to farmers hay

Follow the wind on it's endless flight
back to where the giant lay

It lingered in the twilight expanses beneath where I rest my soul and head,I heard its mumblings, incoherent not upon my ears was either understood.

Clinging to the expanse of what was underneath,  it was a warm night
but beneath was breath chilled and frigid that my hair stood on end.
I saw its exhalation from form to nothingness.

My mirror in the corner I would swift fully gaze, but all I saw
was darkness and those eyes that followed me across the bed.
Like a cobra it did gaze upon my movement hypnotic in essence.

Wanton curiosity of a mind so young, a finger, a thumb, a hand now I wave under the bed. But nothing heeds my gesture under my creaking mattress i wave in oblivion by nothing signals back.

I rest my weary eyes, then slumber to those places where my innocence does dramatize the actions of the day. but while the blinds are closed it reaches from its depths, it knows i now slumber its time to play.

I walk on the ice skating as I go, but then my feet are constrained and as the moments pass, i am entombed from below to up above, but just before my sight freezes i see a hockey puck, shattered in tears i fall.

Awoken by this moment  gazing upon the floor, there is no darkness
as there was before. Instead there is light, orange in  its glow, it
seem warmer till engulfed in combustion and I awaken once more.

A merry go round of images one as contorted as the former, now I seem to be on a merrygoround of distorted reality. Concluding this is a dream as i moved from one cunvulising moemtn to the next.

I say "No more, as my eyes begin to bleed, as fingers sink deep into the pots. "There is no going home for I am here now till i drain you till your death, I awaken once again to a place I know the best.

But I am indenial as where i rest only faint whispers are heard upon my breath, for this thing that lingers beneath has all but finished its ingestion of my essence as i have only a few ceaseless moments left.

Darkness envelopes me, I'm a prisoner within in a cell, in the middle a bed. A place to rest a weary head, I had fallen prey to that which hungers sleep. For the energy it took now I'm now in tormented death.

I had slept the transcendent hibernation
encompassed in viscous lullabies of slumber
But the tide had changed and I was aroused
In panicked awakenings my eyes opened wide

In thoughts of confusion I was not of sound
reasoning, clambering on a wanting of breath I
lunged at what was abundant around myself.
Fear eclipsed my thoughts and I was static in motion.

Silence greeted my realization as I inhaled a single
ending breath, but I was of calm as I gained another.
I was of this realm of immersion, the mists of
confusion cleared and I swam into the deep.

You shook me so roughly
only to wake me from
the fantasy I taught myself to believe;
the lies I built around me,
and positivity I trained my mind to perceive.

And now that I have awaken to reality
I must say..
Boy do I miss that slumber.

My life as of last has been and eye opening, head first dive of exploration interrupted by one, sometimes two day long binges of unpleasant sobriety.

Three long years after writing the first stanza,
The drugs still being explored
This has led me to a more beautiful understanding of myself and my few remaining friends
However it seems that I have taken a significant tumble down the socioeconomic ladder
At least my writing has gotten neater
No longer shaken by the withdrawal of a still desired drug

Alcohol has a way of calming and inspiring me
Bringing forth the thoughts I cannot make into sound
My few remaining friends cut down into a seemingly impossible smaller number
I now awake in the night with cold sweats that interrupt my slumber.

Dreams of panic and anxiety, Now clouded with past faces.
Personifications of things inside me
Faces made of thoughts and feelings, Taking over occupied spaces
Forcing out the beautiful and imaginative
Subconscious taking charge, So the conscious may live.