put an empty hand under water
and watch it waste away, watch it squander-
let it stay and stay the same, let it ponder
and never do a single thing, never wander-
look at the sink as it drips
never drink never sip,
just stare as the the wooden floors
turn to mold and corrode under sudden force-
turn your eyes away
don't you even look
although we want to stay
we know the time that it took
to be a ghost in the day
but then at night we're a rook
i used to beg to go play
but now my life i forsook-

pinch yourself because the blood wont swell
up high enough for you to smell
that armpit sweat from being too nervous to tell
the truth sometimes, so we hide in our shell
from the growing guilt making it hard to not yell
- but swallow it down, ignore the burdens you felt-


the meadows are nonexistent in southern Florida,
when will i see more than dried up sand-
the forests have washed away into suburbia,
when will i feel green moss in my hands-
when all i know is gone
i know i don't have to beg
- you will twirl your hair like those twirling leaves-
when all i know is gone
i know i can rest my head
- i will keep you here, safe inside my memories-

-when i wake up from my dreams,
i will forget we met.
but if i remember a single thing,
there wouldn't be a second to correct-

I whisper 'i love you'
With a deafening silence
I caress every inch of your body
In my mind every minute of every day
But you turn away and nestle against
The one you chose to spend forever with
You and I both know you're not in love
But It's quiet there
It's safe
You're comfortable
While I, I am left with this love
Gnawing at my stubborn heart
I lay every night rapidly combusting
Wishing for the burning to end
So that the ashes that do remain
Will blow away, travel with a gust of wind
And settle upon
Your soft, conforming skin
Then you and I will finally become one
As you always promised we would

What is Love? Part 6: Home

Why is it we love so deeply? Is it for romance? Is it to reassure our significant other that they mean so much to us or perhaps it is because we see ourselves in others.. or something more, so we conjure up this energy to try and prove to them their worth towards us. This never ending declaration of unconditional, inexplicable and yet some how, profound love. A love so powerful it bounds us together almost making us one, almost making us whole and so we fear shutting our eyes because we think that if we open them again, we'll wake up and it'll all have been just a dream.

No... No, my dearest friends.. listen to me now. When the sun breaks dawn and you feel that cool eastern breeze just brush against the nape of your neck all the way around to the front of your cheek; look upward, north, and remember. Time will stop for a moment and you'll be able to travel anywhere in almost an instant. But nothing could amount to that moment you looked into her eyes and felt... Home. Safe. Truly Happy. Remember that feeling. Remember that feeling my friends.. when you shut your eyes.. and go to sleep. Cause when you wake, I promise, she'll be waiting right there in front of you, smiling and with awe.

I fell in love with you
and the way you speak.

I am in love with you
and how you sleep.

you fell asleep beside me,
with your hand upon my ribs.
and in that hand grasps
the pink lace of my dress.

and the serenity upon
your closed eye lids
makes me
believe this is true
serendipity.

I love the way you sleep
speak
and breathe.

the rise and fall
of your chest against me.

the slight smile on your lips,
and the slight twitch
of whichever muscle.

the way your eyelashes
cast shadows across your cheeks.

and to believe
that if I were to be hurt
and you were to wake
from your moment so sweet,

all would know of the fire in your eyes.


but oh, how I love that flame.

I fall asleep -
Curled up small above the cab of the camper -
My eyes drawn to the pools of night in your face below -
My hand hanging down so my fingers brush your forehead -
I stare, for as long as my eyes will stay open -
Below me -
The face of my forever.

i would think of jumping sheep
but it wouldn't help me fall asleep
or listen to and read classical scores
but they don't put me to bed anymore
even to take the strongest sleeping pills
the bad thoughts and worries it could ****

but i heard your voice
you talked as i closed my eyes
it excited me like the jumping sheep
it graced my ears like the classics
but most of all

it knocked me out in an instant