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I’m going crazy
Having to live this ****** up life of mine
Letting all the **** be
I’m going crazy
Is there something mentally wrong with me?
Holding the monsters inside of me back
I’m going crazy
Not being able to talk to anyone
Not having anyone to love
I’m going crazy
Helping everyone else with their problems
Letting the emotions rage on inside of me
I’m going crazy
Worrying about others opinions; and not my own
Watching and listing to everyone else faking it
I’m going crazy
Hearing everyone else scream and shout at me
Always being treated unfairly
I’m going crazy
Relying on myself and keeping others out of my life
Seeing everyone else so happy and being so depressed
I’m going crazy
Though I’ll continue to tell everyone I’m fine
Natalie Walker Jan 2016
MY CHILDHOOD ROOM
FEELS LIKE A MUSEUM
no matter how many times
I dust the shelves.
The trophies look more plastic than ever
and the cat collection is a little out of hand.
The books are still my pride and joy
but their covers haven’t been caressed in
years?

Has it really been
years?

I light a candle and cradle my thoughts in my cranium
tapping my toes in tandem with
THE TERRIBLE SQUEAK in my ceiling fan
I asked my mom to get that fixed
does she forget everything when I’m not home
do the doors go unlocked when I’m not home
do the cats go unfed
does the truth go unsaid
WHY DO I NO LONGER FIT MY CHILDHOOD BED.

In the silence I can hear her.
I hear the little girl with the long braided hair
ask her mom for a book
For Christmas.
I envy her.

This Christmas  my list consisted of things
I know my mom can’t buy.
This year I asked for peace, for a stable career after college,
for a meaningful relationship that doesn’t
breed in the dark cracks of insecurity and small talk.
I asked for love, I asked for bathroom mirrors to stop insulting me,
and for people at grocery stores to smile more.
I asked for patience, I asked for the sun to show her face a little longer
so  I could finish everything I promised I would do.
I asked for joy, I asked for rainfall I could dance in, for a snowstorm where I can make snow angels and not care about the ice
that slides down my sleeve
I asked for knowledge, I asked for the stories of the unheard to be shouted from the skyscrapers
and for politicians TO STOP SCREAMING.
I asked for trust, I asked for lying to be illegal
and for people to feel safe when they hold out their hearts
in front of them.

I asked for someone to listen.
Because I know I can’t do this by myself.
It’s okay that we don’t fit out childhood beds
and growing up means growing out
of our once-favorite things.

We can stop asking
for books for Christmas–
as long as we write a new one
together.
by Natalie M. Walker
Canaan Massie Dec 2015
If you were the Sun,
And I were the Moon,
I'd reflect your beauty onto Earth.

You give life with your light,
But they're still geocentric,
They can't look in your eyes,
And they don't know your worth,

...But I do.

And if I were the Sun,
And you were the Moon,
I'd die from the distance,
And you'd love the waves.
I'd flare up my nostrils,
Obliterate planets,
Just to give my dear Luna,
Her space.

...But I think...
You're more like...
...Earth.

Nature and Nurture,
You're one in the same.
Your waters replenish,
There's "art" in your name...
Earth.

Polluted by people,
And carbon and cancer,
You bottle it up,
Til you burst from your mantle,
But you're
Iron.
To.
Your.
Core.

When grey takes your green,
Still, you protect your people,
And provide a harvest,
Regardless you feed them.
You harbor the humans,
That crack up your crust,
Then create the concrete,
That covers your lungs...
...Then they ask why you can't breathe.

You put the "die" in "Dioxide"
There's gold in your soul,
They mine for your diamonds,
But only find coal,
Yet...
They're BOTH COMPRESSED CARBON?!?!?

The shade of your surface,
Brings shame to the soil,
Your soul can grow much more than crops.
And if that asteroid Apophis,
Gets a little too close,
I'm the astronaut poppin Apocalypse off,
Or the artist that's armin' Armageddon's bomb.
Our connection is stronger than Hydrogen bonds.
When I hold your hand,
I've got the world in my palm.

Accumulate cumulus,
Shrouded in clouds,
Your circumference serves,
As the circle of life.
And I tried...
And I tried...
And I finally realized,
That without planet Earth...

...I would die.
Written slam-style.
kenny Diamond Dec 2015
I wish that i could take back the kindest i shared
You are  so closed  mind   and stuck in the past
I can't  live in world  where its  one way
I have take step back look see the world from outside looking in
I am nothing to then  you then just another step
My heart is too kind for you
I wish i could walk and slam door in your face
You never see how u are  blind by your own self
It  is time to remove this cancer out of my life
And  stop being the hammer to the nail
olivia grace Dec 2015
when he asked if I wanted to drive deep into the mountains
if I wanted to go down back roads and across forgotten trails
if I wanted to drive past every lost monument that wasn't littered with the names of children who let go of themselves, etched into the cool pavement with black ink,
I said no,
because those names,
those monuments,
spark of a memory I don't share a psychological bond with
it brings me back to days I didn't walk through
the smell of the paint almost dry
carries me on a breeze that's cold as ice from the lack of my touch.

I didn't live in those memories.
but the stain they leave behind,
the valleys I walked through were covered limb to limb in the acrylic drippings of time
and I am here just moments later
moments after the show began
the finale lingers in the leaves
covering each berry in hues of gray

I didn't live there.
but I won't go further from this spot till it returns.
so when you ask me to run away with you,
I only wish you could hear the sound my nails make, the scraping and scratching,
clawing at years I didn't live to see.
air I wasn't there to breath
footprints that were walked over many times before my arrival.

when you ask me to let go,
I only wish you could hear the earth telling me to stay.
I want to end it all.
Let my eyes close one last time.
Take one last fall;as I end it all.
Will I have a ball;before I end it all.
Should I go shopping at the mall;before I end it all.
Perhaps I’ll make one last call;before I end it all.
Will I take more time or stall;before I end it all.
As I end it all will I say I saw my life flash before my eyes.
Will my body heave out one last sigh.
Will somebody say oh my;when I end it all.
As I end it all will I cry.
Will I tell everyone a lie.
Say I’m fine;before I end it all.
Or will I smile at everyone and even say I’m great.
Shakespear said to be or not to be
So I ask myself to end it all or not to?
Will I leave a clue
For everyone I knew
A love letter for a selected few?
When it’s finally over will I say whew?
Will it start all over new?
Or will god look at me and say “I’m through,with you.”
Or will he say you have a lot left to do.
Will I look down at the world and say nice view.
I want to end it all.
I call this an ADHD poem but I guess it's really called a slam poem
olivia grace Dec 2015
you hold sparkly things like they are candles burning a timid flame
you held me like I was the flame
too hot to hold
and no not like I was some goddess you found in good faith but more like my passion was too strong for you
didn't you know that shiny new things all break the same
my flame may be the size of a cosmic flare but it burns out just as the small match you let go of years ago did
we let our ashes tell our stories for us
we promise to burn and burn and burn
but we are all burned out so what's left
what's so special in the rubble that brought you to your hands and knees?
what made you dig in the ashes?
would it hurt if I told you it was nothing at all?
icarus Dec 2015
There are too many things I regret telling you, darling. I regret telling you about how when I was little I nearly died in the accident that totaled my parents' Jetta. I regret mentioning that I felt like your Halloween costume was more important to you than I was. I regret that you let me convince you to help you clean your ******* room so I could feel important. I regret every tear I've made you shed and your pain is carved into my brittle bones so I know just how much I've hurt you. Honestly, I've started to realize how much of a miracle it is that you haven't changed your mind about loving a broken and battered shell of a human being wearing a smiling mask that comes off so slowly it peels away what's left of my pale, flaking skin. I'm surprised you're still interested in my thinning body and tattered soul. My name falling from your lips in ecstasy still sounds so foreign, like hearing a language you never even knew existed. You look at me like I hang the moon in your night sky, making me feel unworthy of the way you treat me, not like a broken toy but rather an ancient heirloom to be treasured and mended. I find myself tossing and turning at night wondering and worrying and whittling away at the fragile self confidence I build when I'm with you and I ******* regret. I regret not opening up and I regret the indisputable fact you could do so much better than me. There are still so many things I regret and letting you read this is one of them but these are all things you need to know and my heart is still in pieces beneath our feet. Yes, there will always be things I regret, but loving you will never be one of them.
Not gonna lie, I'm considering recording this one.
AFR Dec 2015
I would like to apologize for my very **** outfit
I mean who wouldn't be turned on by my button up shirt, tights, skirt, and boat shoes
Clearly I was asking for you to grab it
I mean I was basically wearing a sign saying grab it
I deserved the anxiety attack it caused me
I 100% deserved showering for an hour to feel clean
I hope you're happy
I mean I won't forget it
If you ever need a reminder check the notes you carved into my wrist
IsReaL E Summers Dec 2015
"You can fly here"
He said with a smile.
"Oh yeah and also,
There is no Fear."
"Excuse me did I hear
You correctly?"
"Uh huh he's dead,
in this country!"
I ******* bled for this country.
If I bleed, then its country.
In the Country we in now B.
Blood is mud **** its awful G!
Remind me who is
Hermianey!?
Capture your thoughts for a spell,
We're ******* headed to hell.
Lest we turn and recant.
This little horn isn't decadent.
Given a false-precedent,
You ventured excellent
My magnificent
Molevolent "movie" makers
Do we have any takers?!
...
Earthquakes now break
with
Our
fists
And shakers
Im over-reaching here a bit.
^-^
Slightly edited beyond freestyle. I added a line. A word, and ...
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