Looking and longing for that something,
Don’t quite know what it is,
Beating myself up trying to reach the answer,
Once I reach one,
All the possible answers hit at once,
Sense of being overwhelmed begins to settle,
Feeling not only lost but also unmotivated
Trying to fix all these pieces to the puzzle,
That I lose a sense of the picture,
The finished product no longer has that value,
Rather it has been altered,
It is no longer unique.
What is the cost?
Time or value?
Both.

Mesmerising are the
Creations of this earth,
Whether it is the sun rising
or the stars twinkling,
The flowers blooming
Or the birds humming,
Whatever it maybe,
Beauty lies in everything

This day 6 years ago I was not created, I was made
My mind was loose in the wild
Free to descend into the unknown, Hades
I felt the detriment of my being which kept me enslaved
I crawled and clawed out the concave
6 years ago this day I was not born but I was made

The cold metal of a silver spoon
Leaves stale memoriesin my mouth
Never had the taste of luck
Nor privilege that blesses few.

Underrated, judged and boxed in
Beaten by myself, along with societies glares
Dare to escape, to fight
The cornered beast flashes fangs

Claiming a cocky egomaniac
Through blinds eyes and deaf ears.
Rise and die for a 1000 days.
Tremors of tears on the fringe
Of empty yet focused demeanor.

Never apologizing for monster
That reflects from success.

"You can be whatever you want to be," he says.
Isn't he so ******* inspirational?
Something straight out of a storybook meant for a hopeful, innocent, naive child.
I've always thought that this statement was relevant, because we humans as a rule usually do whatever we want to do.
We follow our guts, our desires, our cravings, our wants.
I've always tried to employ this rule, just because my mommy once told me to be whatever I wanted to be.
But someday quite sometime ago, I learned that you can't get everything you want.
One cannot be president, an astronaut, or beautiful, or smart just by "wanting" it.
You could eventually, theoretically get what you wanted through hard work or finagling or knowing the right people or maybe by just being lucky.
But realistically we don't always get what we want, which means we can't be whatever we want to be.
I've always tried to think that I want to be skinny and pretty, so I'm going to work out and I'm not going to eat and because I want it, it will happen.
I've always tried to think that I want to be happy, so I'm going to make friends and hide my awkward sadness and smile frequently and because I want to be happy, it will happen.
I've always tried to think that I want considerate people to surround myself with, so I'm going to treat others how I want to be treated and I'm going to bend over backwards to show others I care and because I want to feel important to others, it will happen.
I've always tried to think that I could have any career I want, so I'm going to follow "what makes me happy" and try to find a job in a barren career field and because I want to be a happy adult (if such a thing exists), it will happen.
There are so many things I desperately want myself to be.
Compassionate, smart, attractive, intelligent, loving, witty, beautiful, fit, skinny, talented, well put together, and I could list thousands more.
But there are so many aspects of myself that I don't want that I will never be able to get rid of.
So while I think that wanting to be something is relevant to how much you want it, because as a rule humans do whatever we want, I think there are certain things you cannot change just by wanting them.
So Mister Inspirational, take a step back from your whiskey bottle, your larger than life aspirations, and let reality slap you in the face.