I’m the cling-clang of coins in my pocket,
and loose paperclips in a desk drawer.
Like lipstick and gum in a lady’s purse,
I’m a kid’s toys strewn about on the floor.

When I walk my insides rattle about,
like a  janitor’s keys without his ring,
like groceries bagged by junior baggers,
I’m jumbled as a cat’s unraveled string.

I’m less ordered than a box of Legos,
or debris remaining after a storm.
Nuts and bolts in an amateur toolbox
click-clack and click-clack with even more form.

I’m just a package of random loose parts,
though the world sees me as perfectly fine.
Life is making order of that chaos,
but it’s my life and that chaos is mine.

At last we lay silent
under the bliss of Joy
Your body drifting off
into another realm
where calm blankets
your stillness
I watch your chest
rise and fall
listening to your breath
ebb and flow
like the gentle rhythmic tide
as you retreat and return
to the moon sprawled
across your bed
Without interruption
my eyes take in
every aspect of you
I find my fingers
brushing your hair
away from your face
kissing the crevice
between your nose and cheek
settling on your warm mouth
as your out breath emerges
from your lips to mine
I watch as you fall
further and further away
knowing we are separate souls
unable to save each other
from the dark night
but for now we have found a place
for our bodies to rest
in embracing arms
Syncing our heart beats
until day breaks
where we part again

I know not what I am
But I sure as hell am scared
Sometimes I catch a glimpse
and wish I had not dared.

I haven't been myself I mumbled,
it's been a short 4 years.
Yet everyday I am humbled!
to be honest with my fears!

Surviving off whats left of my self loathing
are the devilish voices that I used to feed.  
Watering my mind's garden is refreshing
and THAT'S the energy that I need!

She sat on the shelf
Admiring the other dolls,
She'd been there for some time.
Watching the other dolls come & go.
The only one not wrapped in plastic.
She thought her self ugly
The other dolls never staying long.
The kids & their parents quickly by passing her.
Grabbing the dolls wrapped in box & plastic.
Although very beautiful she'd sit and contemplate the worst.
Watching the other dolls come & go.
The little black doll not wrapped in plastic.
She grew resentment.
Finding the only difference was in how she was made.
Her brown skin, her black hair.
She so longed to be taken to a loving home.
She didn't come with any accessories.
The vanity that came with the other dolls.
Her smile printed across her face.
Over time it became hard for that smile to stay.
Often crying when the lights turned off and the store closed.
She wanted a home just like the other dolls.
Quickly picked up,
Hurried over to the register.
She longed to be like all the other dolls.
Watching them all come and go.
Their hair tied behind their head.
All the make up and accessories sealed in their package.
It wasn't until one of the other dolls was returned.
Damaged.
Half stuffed into the package.
When she spoke to the other doll,
She discovered that not all homes are what you think.
Seeing how rough she was played with.
The rough marks across her face, her hair no longer tied in the package ponytail.
It wasn't until then that she realized that the best things come with time.
Finding the best home in herself
Beautiful black doll
Taken home to meet the girl she'd be with forever

Since childhood,
I have been fascinated by one story,
The story of The Ugly Duckling.

Whether a duckling or a swan,
She always stood apart.
Alone in body and thoughts,
She never was the crowd.

But chancing upon her reflection,
She discovered a thing or two,
She wasn't to waddle along,
Their purpose was not her purpose.

She knew she had to be different.
She had to feel out of place.

It took some time,
And great amount of pain,
To realize,
It was the wind that caressed her wings.
It was the skies that enchanted her.

She had to rise beyond inhibitions,
To a place far far away.

The fog must have cleared
so slowly, that when
I saw the landscape
when I realised it

was there, I already must
have seen it unconsciously
just like when

I was bored, watching
the passing people
and thinking they also saw me
in passing, a girl

with dangling legs
just a girl
they do not know

and that I was her
This was suddenly clear
an awareness, loomed up
out of the mist of being a child

I too saw myself
sitting there in the wonderful
feeling that I was myself

Everytime I try to find myself
I get lost inside of you
I've become a needle in a haystack
Except I'm the only one who knows I'm missing

I decided to take a trip on my day off
Rediscovering all the things that make me smile.
My place of work no longer work.
A small fee to a different world.
A world filled with all sorts of abstract color.
My favorite art museum, living & breathing.
A corridor of wide wall.
Different perspective of how eyes greet grin.
These marble floor emotions of how small I felt
Staring at these giant frames.
Perfectly sculpted lips
Each frame a memory captured for all time.
Me traveling down the corridor of your smile.
Our childlike sensibility
The truth of every display.
A hop and a skip away
Lost in liquid color.
How I've traveled The hue of your eye.
Displayed big and bright,
Decorated in frame and gloss.
The many times I've splashed around as you brought each color to life
as vivid as displayed.
For each glance a different story told
The tragedy of how we preserve time.
How soon we outgrow our former selves.
The moments that make the loudest sound.
Clay molds of your face
Smooth and round.
Every truth captured
Presented in constant space.
The burden of velvet rope
In restriction of how close we see ourselves.
Photo flash ban signs,
Dimmed lights to help preserve sensitivity
No running
All noise kept to a minimum.
This trip a reminder of how precious the simple things are.
Stepping back into reality
A long walk into how we use to be

i am tired of being the passenger in my life
watching it happen while not being present.

i want to steer my own destiny towards a happier and blissful place.

taking action instead of waiting for nothing to happen
waiting and waiting
then complaining
why nothing is right.

you do not wait.
you should not wait.
you should take action.

-D.L.