The cutter will cut in a cutters world,
the hurt won't stop in a life unfurled,
the blood will drip like drops of rain
eaten alive by sorrow and pain
you will feast on smiles and greed
but Ill just cut and watch it bleed

i was a cold, sad girl
tiny, too tiny, oh so tiny
but never enough to be
that girl
the ballerina with wings
instead of feet
cold, so cold
chilled to the bones
that fed my obsession
and taunted me
the desire to grow wings
the haunting feeling
feathers brushing my shoulders
but weight, so much weight
flight held down with bones like anchors
i had no perseus
to unchain me from the rocks.
i was a cold, sad girl
who needed just enough
to cut the chains myself
to give life to my wings
and fly away

it's 10:42,
and all i want is you.
this room keeps spinning and spinning,
and i don't know what to do.
there's eighteen different voices
demanding i make these choices
because, girl. it's the bottom of the inning.
stop. there are too many noises.
it's okay. it's all in my head.
still my veins are dripping blood red.
oh, how i wish i could go back to the beginning,
but i sit here hoping that i'll just drop dead.
so here's to a stroke of luck,
to life not being able to ****,
to having you back because then i'll be winning
instead of crying my eyes out like a pathetic ****.

It's pure madness.
It is.
You think all these weird and strange and impossible thoughts, and you just want to, no, need to, tell someone every little thing you've ever thought.
But you can't.
Because you're absolutely terrified of what they'll think of you.
Because they'll judge you for being different.
For being abnormal.
They'll judge you for being you.
And then your mind starts to move at a thousand miles per hour to form logical reasons why you can't be the same as them.
Your head begins to spin because of all these thoughts colliding, and you can't stop it.
You couldn't stop it even if you tried.
Even if you wanted to.
Then, your mind, it... it just dies.
As if it were pushed to its absolute limit.
You feel horrible, and it's all because you don't know anyone could possibly comprehend you when you can't even do it yourself.
Then, to punish yourself.
To feel numb.
You cut yourself.
And you bleed.
And scar.
You hide it so that no one will ever know.
And the worst part?
It works.

baby, you're mine*
Allow your body to fold into my arms,
our breath synchronized.
Let your tears fall,
I promise i'll lick the salty water away.
Show me where the hate was so deep
it appeared as stripes onto your tough skin,
I promise i'll kiss the rust tainted liquid away..
Spill to me your bitter rage and ill tame it.
I'll release you of the shackles and fill you with my oxygen,
let you walk on the clouds you deserve.
Come here, dear, and i'll pull you so close to my heart
that the beating revives yours and pumps blood through your body,
where it should be.
Sweetheart, I've made it past the mask,
I've swam when the easier option was to sink.  
I'm here and don't think for one second
if i could go back in time that i'd change it.

I understand the cutter.
Loving you is
My self-harm.