Woke up drained wishing that I was dead,
this life has meaning but only in my head,
I give her every part of me, and she asks me to repeat what I just said.

Now how does she not know
which direction my mind will go?
Her veins and my blood flow,
and a pair of hands to row.

It’s taken a toll and far too many years,
back and forth shuffling blame and our fears,
she lets me think I drive, but we both know she steers.

Now how can I stay strong?
Always repeating that one song.
She’s right until she’s wrong,
but I’m not where I belong.

I accepted a truth and made a lie stick,
covered and layered it over so outrageously thick,
she keeps me alive, but I’ve always been sick.

Now how can she not see
just how vital she is to me?
Giving priceless stock out for free,
but I’m never where I should be.

Woke up drained wishing that I was dead,
my heart breaks as often as she breaks bread.
I give her every part of me, and she asks me to repeat what I just said.

Is it forever you carry that small knot
Right beside your heart
For someone you miss.
And whilst they are there,
A void,
A cage,
The strongest iron chain
Prevents you reaching out
Through the pride you clasp to your chest.
Or the resentment that lingers.
Or just the sheer foolishness you regret,
As those words so easily,
So bitterly,
Slipped from your lips.
And now the path you both tread has become a void.
And regrets so cavernous cut deep into your heart.
But you know no way forward.

Do I ever get a second chance
To things i could never have again
To love i  could never feel again
Is guilt and regret that necessary
Why can't I just get
A second chance

walking past fountains of roses,
she caressed them with her hands.
soft petals kissed her fingers and
thorns, piercing the pads of her fingertips.

wandering to the golden pond, lying
down.
letting her hands play in the fronds of the grass,
flicking up glistening emeralds of water that
glimmered
in the sun.
flickering moons,
fresh diamonds,
new life so quickly taken.

Second place doesn’t really hurt as much
When that’s all you’ve ever known
Second to be born
Second to be considered
Second to be called on
Second to be loved

First chair? Not likely, you don’t belong there
And don’t fool yourself, they never really loved you first
You’re second through and through

And maybe that’s why the spotlight scares you
You’ve never known what it feels like to own one

Silver may be prettier than gold
But that doesn’t change the fact that your story never gets told

He left the house in such a rush
He could not stand the noise
The screaming, crying and shouting
He had no other choice
Than to run across the front yard
Where no flower had grown in years
To be thrown upon the pavement
Drowning in his tears

He walked for many miles and thought
Of the freedom he had gained
In the myst of night a bar appeared
A warm shelter from the rain
He drank and laughed and drank some more
While old friends had been long gone
He threw up on the pavement
Thrown out and on his own

For hours and hours he crawled and found
The streets were dark and cold
Till a new day came upon him
And a new life did unfold
A woman, young and beautiful
Took care of him that day
Their love should last for ever
And he would always stay

But darkness came and took her heart
She died one night in May
She left him a handful of flower seeds
And no more words to say

He wandered with no purpose
The years went by and by
Till he came across a front yard
Where the earth was hard and dry
A degraded house was all that’s left
And a memory of sound
In his hand the seeds of love he held
And he dropped them on the ground

Then suddenly he stopped and turned
In his eyes the light was new
From the ground where he just stood on
A flower gently grew...

time , what time?
first, i asked

my neighbor at sit answered
the time passed

my wait annoyed
second, i asked

he answered with anger
i waited

third, i asked
he was annoyed

he answered
fourth, i asked
*****
he shouted and answered
sixth, i asked

he threw his watch
he ordered," take

asked it much"