In the darkest of nights ,
In the prettiest of hells ,
I have nurtured myself,
Then what is it that stops me, now??
To my horrors ,I realise,
Non but myself is the culprit this time!!
What you do when you're trapped
in your own mind ????
and ,
I am actually trapped this time !!
I thought I am strong
Coz I fought the entire world for my beliefs
But what i do ,
If my beliefs start shaking
I've been feeling this earthquake recently,
  So what you do when you feel ,
  this earthquake in you ?
  I've been weighing each pro and con
  But I feel it entraps me evermore ..
  So what to do ??
  Maybe having a new belief system,
  Might help me
  But then what about my previous beliefs?
  Could all these belief systems ,
  go together I wonder ?
  I think they can
  So I'll  let you know
  What it feels to have,
  multiple belief systems altogether
  But for know I'll go
  Find another belief system for me

I step towards the crowd
Surrounded by
High fives
and
Grinning faces
One stands out though
It is mine
Unlike the others
I do not make eye contact
I do not smile
I do not walk towards
I walk away
From pain
From heartbreak
From betrayal
Maybe one day
This road will lead me
Somewhere far far away
Where I am
Myself
And I can
Be okay with that

for years i thought i knew myself
but the wind has blown me astray.
with tears and scars i pleaded in vain...
but the current of time has driven me too far away.

i look back but not a patch of land.
beyond the water was a fading ship
whose waving flag whispered farewell…
and the dying light and frigid sea cast me further and further still.

these solemn nights drag on without pity.
i was alone, adrift in blue that blinded;
carried some place i knew not where…
who knew where i was headed (but deep and dark despair (?))

to hell with it! I leave it to the wrath of the gods--
i am blind to my kismet, like a sailor in foggy seas.
the first patch of land i find--i couldn’t care more
what it was! I just need to find myself (a place where i’d be me).

Chipped China, too worn
To be displayed-
Locked away, ashamed
Hidden where none can see;
It sings a mournful melody.
Reaching out, full of longing
Wanting only to be known-
Searching for a sense of belonging,
Searching for its home sweet home.

"Stop trying to fit your feet in a pair of shoes that I have not designed for you to wear.
Your feet will only end up bruised and broken."

So I listened this time.
I removed the shoes.

He wept at the sight of my bleeding feet.
He felt my pain.
He knew my pain.

The concept of walking barefoot terrified me.
My feet needed healing and I knew the path I was taking would not always be smooth.

The story of Two Footprints in the Sand?
Well, it's true.
I witnessed it first-hand
He carried me to the next stop.
He gave my feet the time they needed to heal.

He handed me a new pair of shoes.
Comfortable shoes.
Shoes He had designed specifically for me to wear.
They were beautiful.
Like nothing I had ever seen.

"Trust me",
He whispered in my hear.

"Stop trying to fit your feet in a pair of shoes that He has not designed for you to wear.
Your feet will only end up bruised and broken."

Remove them.

Be Patient.

YOUR shoes will come.