I’m drowning in this night.
Please give me a jot of joy
turn on the light
to spurn this blight
I’ve gone overboard
send me a buoy.

numbness falls over me;
like a thick wool blanket protecting me from the cold of a dark, winter night

insulated and warm,
my feelings fade away.
yet the coldness surrounding me remains,
constantly inviting me to play.

I wonder how long this numbing will last?
when will the sun rise again and another empty night like this will have fully passed?

returning with the day is the pain of this freezing terrain,
reminding me just how little from the darkness I’ve really strayed;
I know this is only a temporary wait to sustain.

Make me a bird
So fast and free
That no one could catch me
I'll fly so high
Without a care in the world
I'll soar to the rainbows
I'll be alone

i turn each page
of the book
with anticipation

anticipating if
the princess gets
the prince?

if the hero
gets to save the day
yet again

if the ugly duckling
became the beautiful
swan it was meant
to be

but instead
when i turned the page
of this book
i have

i realized
the lost girl
didnt get to find who
she was

the lost girl
didnt get
to see the light

and now she was
a broken wing
broken beyond
repair

and that lost
girl
was me

i lost myself
and i had no
chance
to see the light

because i was
already
drowning

and was too far
gone
to be saved

the darkest nights
are always those you must face alone.

no knight in shining armor
will appear until it’s already dawn.

I was talking about everyone
while she remained quiet
which made me curious and ask her
"why do you look so upset?"

she sighed as she held my hand
as she looked into my eyes and say
"you keep telling me wonderful things you did..
but let me tell you, this is not okay"

"not okay? how so?"
i asked wondering whats wrong
she looked away before saying
"You always we're too strong"

"you never doubted anything, you only loved them
you adored them, no matter what they say or do
but let me ask you, one thing..
have you thought about yourself? like...what about you?"

testing the waters,
I let him every time.

I don’t know why...
it’s like I have no control over my own mind.

weak sense of self, so he takes advantage

it’s like i know i shouldnt,
yet i don’t want to leave him stranded.