I am staring to feel that Salem sadness,
That I felt last year in the dorm,
I guess you can call it mental illness madness,
But it sure doesn't feel like the norm,
Lucy dacus says that she could **** him if I let her,
And Dan Barrett says no one will ever want me,
I don't understand the allure,
Of becoming who everyone wants me to be.
I got a tattoo at the end of last year,
A serial code for a replicant I love,
Sometimes I feel the same fear,
Illustrated in his face while holding a dove.
Bloodhail playing as I waste time,
In my new dorm,
Doing nothing while healing from surgery was so sublime,
But now I have to face the oncoming storm,
Of work and responsibilities that I hid from for so long,
Faces sweaty arms and legs what a glorious set of stairs this song makes,
I gained too much weight and no longer feel strong,
Guess I should have gone back to work and stopped indulging in things like cakes,
I'm trying not to eat that much anymore,
It isn't worth it when I feel too round and fat,
Just enough to sustain me and restore,
The energy that I spend doing this and that.
I no longer have hyperfixations on things I love,
it makes me feel so horribly empty,
I don't know how to fill my brain up with stories and men from above,
When it no longer brings me joy and won't tempt me,
Is this a part of growing up?,
Losing all the things you loved as a teenager?,
I draw a tarot card and I'll get the cups,
I can only sing in c major.
I guess I'm just starting to grow out of it all,
As scary as that sounds,
Will future me mourn for the current me,
As I mourn for the teenager that had created stories since he was born?

Take it as a compliment
Branded heretical.
Bring on the pyre,
And set it afire;
When they resort to
Crucifixion
You’ll know you have the right
Convictions

death by burning knows no era
and my demons have long
set me on fire.

i feel like a witch burning at the stake —
burning and screaming for too long now,
but give it time and maybe
even my nerves can learn to be numb,
even the lick of flames can grow cold;

and maybe even the ashes can feel like home.

1; fear will not **** you, but it can eat you alive and make your insides rot.

2;you must allow yourself to thaw before you can melt--the cold was meant to allow you to feel your own heartbeat. don't ignore it

3; you are alive, even if just barely. make sure to lift your eyes to the sun to know that it still shines even amongst the dark.

4; breathe in with your nose and out through your mouth. you are a passageway for ancestral air and you should take that responsibility seriously.

5; your blood is not special, nor is it ordinary.

6; it is only by chance that you are here. a line of perfectly timed decisions birthed you--remember why you're here.

7; look at the mountains. they were here before you and will be long after you're gone. one day you will become the air that surrounds it.

8; you can lose your footing, but don't despair. sometimes you fall into a new path and it's like breathing in clarity you've never once known.

9; listen to what you're body tells you, it knows you better than you think.

10; when everything turns to dust remember you have the ability to start over. it cannot harm you to wipe the slate clean

You're innocent like the people of Salem.
But you're Abigail Williams.
We can all be a Reverend Hale sometimes. It's human.
But you are the witch.

© 2018 Omni Winters