do you hear that?
no
do you fear that ?
no
understand its near when the heat bubbles my brain
understand the tears when they flood more than rain
i can’t taste anything but raging waves
washing my face, washing our pain
cleanse, repent, until i second guess
all the compression of my fate
depression in my rays
internal divide, leave the strain in the drain
self sacrifice, smoke the demons away

Magical ain't it
I'm running with a crown
Wasn't born into it this way
Nope, didn't steal it
But I ain't no Saint either
Just worked it up from the bottom
Looking up to a ceiling
Then putting my head down, I told y'all
I told y'all I wasn't gonna be the same
No not after all that I've been through
Not after I dropped all the pride for y'all
Not after I walked off with my head up strong
Oops now I am seeing a flock
Throwing bread crubs look at em follow
Yah I'm a beast with it
Guess growing up wasn't so easy
Maybe that's the story you can't hear it
Many dark moments have me remenising
Painkillers just isn't cutting it now is it
Had to break off this vision
Had to look beyond anything I could invision
Nothing new dark roads will tell you
This one has some light
Must be the flashlight I'm holding

Magical ain't it
I'm running with a crown
Wasn't born into it this way
Nope, didn't steal it
But I ain't no Saint either
Just worked it up from the bottom
Looking up to a ceiling
Even when they left me
Even when they doubt me
Even when they smiled at me
It didn't mean anything
Saw it for what it was to me
Headed up a mountain no strings
Never looked down I forgot it
Quiet up here ain't it
Hearing echoes all around me
Maybe all those heavy feelings
Finally lifted me

Magical ain't it
I'm running with a crown
Wasn't born into it this way
Nope, didn't steal it
But I ain't no Saint either
Just worked it up from the bottom
Looking up to a ceiling
Skies in reach clouds are now beside me
Every lasting freedom that I seeked
Sweated off calories for years
Didn't even notice it was for me
Go and buy it I don't need to see
Like it, I take it now it's free
Everything in my hands or just in reach
Chose to walk away you see
Lost it all for me
What's the point with no depth
Felt like I was reaching blindly
Creative soul burning deep with hopes
Uneducated goals reached them all
Presidented stance welcoming everyone
Come in come in with a soft tone

Magical ain't it
I'm running with a crown
Wasn't born into it this way
Nope didn't steal it
But I ain't no Saint either
Just worked it up from the bottom
Looking up to a ceiling

Don't move or make no noise.
They react to the sound.
This place was once a shopping mall,
now there's bodies all around.

Such dread!
they're searching with soulless eyes,
From sun up,until sundown!

Their broken wailing, unearthly cry.
"THE END IS NIGH!"
My picket sign once read.
I'm forced to lie here and play dead.
They search for the living-with no rest-
I'm alive because of putrid, rotting, flesh.

I dare not make a move.
in this food court.
this unholy mess.
I lie underneath defiled remains,
insides ripped out from their chest.
I dwell within these monster's nest.
Subsist beneath decaying stench of death.
It covers my scent well:
The undead react harshly
to how the living smell.

This new world-I can't tell,
Is this hell, or a fiendish fresh start?
Are they really so different?
I can't tell either world apart.
fear has always been a substance
Pumping through my old heart.
In those days I was ignored or-
they would notice,then shudder.
While folks that lived-well,
well: they ate one another.

I'd fall asleep by night.
under street lamps shivering, uncovered.
Lived my life as a ghost.
haunted those who walked by:
My picketsign.
My shaking fist.
"THE END IS NIGH!!!"
I was cast aside;I did not exist.
they refused to see me,
Notice me when i speak.
The world was a table
With no room for my seat.

Outside corner stores I'd sit with resentment.

I needed to be noticed.
Yet my efforts never got me closer
To being seen by any ONE of them:
An exquisite type of torture.

I see now so ironic, what i used to beg for:

Maybe zombies are ghosts...
that refuse to be ignored?

Maybe if that man in the store window
-he was standing next to a mannequin-
If he hadn't lost his balance...
I could've began again ...?
But that false life fell.
Futility in his attempt to flee:
They ripped out his throat
before he could even yell.
In the commotion a man with a minor creeps,
Crawling toward the exit,
for a stealthy retreat.
Oh yes! I do see it too.
There's a car parked outside,
its engine running right there in the street.

Six hundred and sixty feet.
Salvation has four wheels, power steering
and leather seats.
Something is shouting in my stomach.
Their opportunity.
Their window is closing to leave with no trace
Seconds stretch as I stand
I connect - making eyes with the man.
Him and the child hesitate.
out in the open, words aren't said,
but I can see his face deliberate.
Too late: they can't turn back.
How to sneak past that last zombie
without a face to face?
It shambles in the path of their escape.
They hide under a counter:

I think its better if that child left here safe.

See.
there is bodies, all around.
Bodies all around.
Bodies.  All.   Around.

Those dead bodies kept me a secret.
Kept me safe and sound.
It's my turn to be that for you.
I nod at the man.
Can you see me?
Witness.
Witness,what I'm about to do.

A rush.
Air fills my lungs.
All fear dissipates.
The four words I yell make the zombies irate.
  
                          " THE!!!

                             END!

                              IS.

                          NIGH!!!!!!!"

**** cretins are closing in;
My two friends sneak deftly by.

I see the man and child look back.
I pick up a baseball bat.
Safely on the street
they both wave goodbye.

                  The end is nigh.

Please notice me.

-

Curling I knew you
Curling I waited
Curling we reunited
Sleeping you met me
Sleeping you loved
Sleeping you lied and wasted
Reeling I tried
Reeling I changed
Reeling I sacrificed
Lazing you lost
Lazing you ruined
And lazing you’ll stay forever

When you’re stretched too thin
And you find it hard to breathe
Just wait a little bit for me
So I can teach you to stand still

Even if I can’t do it myself
I will rip both of my eyes off
So you can finally see
I will rip both my legs off
So you can have something to stand with
And when I have nothing else to give
I will hand my heart in
To your calloused hands
That have bled out from trying

And I’ll confine to you my thoughts
The ones that don’t make sense at all
So you can cherish them and remember
All the good memories I have saved of you
So you can see yourself from my eyes
And realize, how perfect you are
How flawless you look, how quickly you talk
How with a single move
you can make a whole new star

All I need for you to know
Is that if you’re in a dead void
And you don’t have anything to hold on to
I will be by your side after only my soul’s left
And even if I’m too broken for you to mimic
Or too lost for you to find me
I’m grateful you have my heart
Because you could’ve never broken it in any pieces
because all the things you touch
Come alive in new raíces.

Today she cried

And that’s when my heart died

Once Again.

Yesterday she smiled

And oh what a wonderful smile it was

I wasn’t there that time, but I can

Only imagine....

To think she’s in pain,

Rips my soul into a pile of  shredded remain

Every success feels

Like I won a Nobel prize

But every setback feels

like another piece of my heart taken away

like a petal removed from

A flower

I can’t... but I have to

I love her too much

And that may be the very thing

that destroys me and

strengthens me all at the same time

My petals may be taken away

(everyday, I might add)

But it is my love for her that will

Put back a petal every time

one goes away, because

I love her too much to not stay

So this is where it'll end.
This is where the sky will fall.
After all the gods died here,
So why shouldn't we all?
We've fought for so long,
It's time to get some rest.
We've done all we can,
We've done our best.
But when it's not enough
A sacrifice must be made
To alter the cruel path
That the devil has laid.
Not honour, nor money
Will redeem our reward.
Only a life will do
Where no shield can ward.
So this is where it'll end.
This is where we will be doomed.
This is the final battle.
For a new world under a new moon.

After all
there was so much to hate
and no one cared
for what there was to love
the least of whom
was himself
and that
was why he drove the cleaver
THWACK
into the wood
right between his fingers
between yes or no
between bedlam and smug satisfaction
knowing he'd missed the mark
on a whim
though
should he have succeeded
he would go on a broken man
no
not because of the mutilated hand
but because of what he would do to himself
should he have abandoned himself
indeed
his tattered body
paled in reflection
to the cavity in his soul
where worlds of dreams had gone to die
and he had pleasure in their deaths
how he marched them on
the dreams
pied piper was he
to the vast
incalculable
sums of fantasy and waylaid plans
beneath him
his scales
his snout and snarl
his wings
a dragon
on a hoard of promised treasures
sure to be expelled
due the ravaging of time
due delinquency and self-wrought disaster
he was an effigy
to the great power of humanity
fallen in grace
subdued by cancerous desires
and poisoned
by fool's love
a rusted bounty
of sham hearts
open and willing
willing his demise
but he loved it
the attention
the destruction
for as it were poured upon him
in him
through him
about him
a pool of toxic ichor
his price for the abuse
was the sacking of the world
the decay of humanity
as they tortured him
they wounded themselves
ever deeper
salt in his wound
was salt in their eyes
rot fed to his belly
became rot in their souls
but they could not stop
they daren't
for they feared his power
they feared
his penchant to rule them
to lay waste to their weakness
mold them
guide them
command them
they feared losing
all their closely coveted lies
that dangled
like snow sequins
about their shivering
cadaverous bodies
malnourished
wanting for respite
from the cold
of their inimical
and unforgiving
reality
from which
escape
is a closed book
empty save for a warning
that what goes up
will surely fall
but what goes down
into the depths of hell
truth itself
where the ****** break upon their wickedness
shall salvation ring in the deep
and awake the beast
who rises to mount the peaks
another dragon
born for battle
destined to be pillaged of its cantankerous wealth
how
it gorged on humanity
letting them wear sequins on their bodies
rather than glory
verve for life
satisfaction in the passing of time
and joy in knowing the coming of the inevitable
they feared to be free
for the cage
they thought
fueled their spirits
but it was a charlatan's ruse
smoke and mirrors
hiding the puppet strings
clouding their judgment
obscuring the ability
to see that He was their shepherd
the pastor of their flock
and with him
all doors would be opened
all minds would be free
all bodies would be whole
and no blood
would be spilt
forever
and on into the waking
of eternity...

I've struggled with lust for quite some years.

I thought I could handle it on my own.



How self-righteous of me.

Thinking I am the ruler of my life.



False idolatry.



I found out that I cannot do anything without God,

and that makes me feel so small.

So incompetent.

Since the world tells us you can save yourself.



I'm here to tell you that you cannot.



Yet, He loves me despite my sin.

He loves you too, despite your sin.



That's why Jesus had to die a horrific death.

All of God's wrath is put into One.

The perfect sacrifice.