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I feel like I’m at the rock bottom of my life, feeling so worthless and all i do is blaming myself. I feel like I’m insane to hold the pang in my chest, the pressure of this world madness. Drowning in the deep of miserably and despair. Everything seems not in the line, so overwhelmed , and the hatred towards me has been growth. I don’t even know who i am, or where i am.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
- it terrifies me, that i'm getting lost and neither can save me.
This is me now, during mental break down.
Laura Apr 2019
Long liquid breaths fill my lungs
An ache, born in my skull, spreads through my limp body
A rush of salt, and spasms.

This is what I want... what I’ve been waiting for

Fantasies of my swollen body, split in the sun
Pecked by seagulls, picked by *****

All of them I envy
They are real
I am not real. I never have been.
I wrote this in college. My professor’s only comment: “if this is how you really feel, you need to seek help”. By then I had felt this way for so long that I didn’t understand that it was abnormal. That was 25 years ago. Not long after, I was hospitalized and diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I’m lucky to be able to say that I only feel this way every few months, now. If you feel this way, know that you don’t have to. You can get help. Believing that it exists is the hardest part.
Paras Bajaj Dec 2018
First your expectations get hurt
and then you just try to blend in.
You pretend everything is splendid
and then there comes your ending.

Second you try to stay away
so you won't get into the bubble.
You forget what you had to say
and then there comes the trouble.

Third when you want to call
so you don't want to be forgotten.
You try and get up knowing you'd fall
and there comes your rock bottom.

-Paras Bajaj #PoetrybyParas
Instagram : @mr.parasbajaj
Hope White Sep 2018
They chased dragons
instead of their dreams
and made love
at rock bottom.
Tanaya Aug 2018
Survival isn't necessarily poetic,
Like the words of this poem,
it can be exhilarating,
exhausting,
enigmatic,
and yet not be poetic.
It can have rhyme schemes,
daydreams,
lazy hymns,
light beams,
internal screams,
like the ones entwined in this poem,
and yet not be poetic.
Survival doesn't need battle scars,
history of wars,
a trigger,
anything bigger.
All it needs is a flash of trust,
a burst of hope,
and a bunch of acceptance
to get past all that-
the state of denial,
the snake around your neck,
and the bags under your eyes.
Your very own battle cries.
So take this poetry
as your beam of light,
as an escape from the bland
wordings of survival,
and climb up and up
and out of sight
of the rock bottom
that you're planning to hit,
before you start healing.
Start breathing
Before you can't anymore.
..but this Poem is my Survival
Pete McIntire Jun 2018
I heard that if you gaze into a fire
That it will begin to gaze back into you

So locked inside a cell
I picked up a book
& proved that theory to be true.

///

I also heard that where you die
Depends on the floor
in which you crawled

However this I’ve proved is false
My first steps were in a home
With roaches on the walls
Pete McIntire
1/3.5
@RedLightWriting
XPY Apr 2018
They say when you hit
Rock
Bottom,
The only way left to go
Is up.
But what happens
When I reach
the top
of the mountain?
What happens
when there is no way
to reach higher?
is that my Limit?
When you reach the bottom,
the only way left to go
is up.
When you reach the top
Can you go no further?

I think
I’m crashing down.
Based on the "gifted child burnout" troupe.
© KMH 2018
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