the sun rises east of my heart,
shocking the cold with rays of tenderness that spread.
at noon it is eclipsed by my soul,
still ablaze,
brightness pooling around the edges of the bubbling mass of myself.
it journeys west in a trail blazed of longing
until it leaves the caverns of my ribs
cold once more.
yet there is no longer a bite to the chill,
for the promise of warmth thumps in my arteries.
my new reality is bright -
for she will rise again
and in that i must trust.

Reaching, rising,
touching, striving,
grasping success,
don't accept less.

Life is a lot like a river
The tides either help raise you up
Or lower tides can drag you under.
One false move
as you swim these emotionally
sensitive  energy currents....
Constantly keep  the emotions in a   balancing science..

Which helps the waters from turning "tsunami"  into wonder..
"How to Keep your head above the waters"
and "away from the gravels below?"
Strength and strict compliance to this ritual are always a skill..
A ritual..
A battle which always must be won..

Moods and unchecked thoughts are similar to a loaded six shooter.
You twirl the bullet wheel  and point the barrel to the head
Providing an answer on to the scene to where this "play" shall take you
or the rough waters shall take you through.
Memories of the past turning to obsessive weight
Kicking the stress of life's load to weigh one metric ton.


You must become like an Olympic swimmer and Albert Einstein rolled up into one character.
Smarts help you figure out a better equation instead of "Russian roulette"
and becoming a strong and skilled athlete can help one wrestle
their control over the tides wishing to
overthrow "this alpha male."
You become the victor through all of it.
Becoming a controller instead of being "controlled"
Energies kept in check.
Don't give in.
For one moment of allowing one's self to be overwhelmed or give in to
the energy effect of exhaustion
Can make your reactor
Powering your life's force
Blow as the Chernobyl Reactor blasted into lifelessness
You do not have to revisit history to know what and who such energy took down with it
So stay with the times
and never neglect yourself,
Never throw up your hands, and act out the phrase "forget it!"
The future is a brighter light than in the past.
Chose the right role in your life
and you shall win your Oscar
Thanks are due to the character in which you are bright to life
and as a director
you are a true actor.
in which you cast.

Disturbed by the sun
Brought hesitantly into the waking world
Hiding in the blanket
Shielding my eyes from the beams of light
Whispering to my mind;
"Rise, young one."

Waiting there
For my body to wake
Coming to the waking world
Almost in full

Rising from my cocoon
Slowly freeing myself
Emerging into the space that is my room

Stretching into the new area
A new volume to partially taken
Shifted from resting place to base
Looking in the mirror
There is my face
Eyes staring back at me
Shades of brown and green
Flickering from side to side
Studying my figure.

- Jay M
May 10th, 2019

The big story of this day is Jesus’ Resurrection from death.
It will be celebrated in homes and churches throughout the world.
But I think Jesus is more interested in us than us celebrating him.
He wants us to recognize
and celebrate the way we rise
from our darkness, and digressions
failures, weakness, sadness and depression.

When Jesus was on Earth he was honest.  He was himself.
That’s what got him in trouble.
He teaches me to subdue the anger and every hint of violence inside
to be true to the unique creature his Father has crafted
not special or above the rest of ordinary men
just different and true to my own voice.

Unlike Jesus, I am not that courageous and mighty with the power of love.
I still fantasize doing damage to those whom I deem evil
still I care too much about what others think
about how I look or sound in public.

I am unlike Jesus in too many ways,
but I am like him in my rising from darkness and doom
from my own self-made tomb.
My resurrections might be tiny
but large is the Spirit in me
and the ability to see
the light
to see the right
and pursue it wherever it leads
into meadows and into the weeds
away from tradition and my roots
beyond my past moorings
toward truth
and its small soarings
telling my little stories
from death to glory.

You are hidden
in the back of my brain and repressed
in an attempt to be forgotten.
Only to be remembered
when triggered by a touch or voice.

You rise from the shadows,
making yourself known,
conquering all my other memories,
pushing everything aside.

You dominate my head,
I applaud you for your assertiveness,
always winning the battle,
King of my mind,
until you are lost
no more.

Broken
Shattered
Torn
Used
Beaten
*****

Dead
Alone
Gone

Ripped from this world
By the creators of evil

Done
Over

Risen from the ashes
Alive, reborn into an angel from hell
Soaring above
Conquer

c.m.l.