no matter how hard i try

how many times i wash my hands

how many times i check the expiration date

how many times i knock on wood

                    five times five

repeat

                    five times five

repeat

                    five times five

repeat

                five times five
          
                             five times five...

(this is to be read to the rhythm of tapping ******* of one hand against the wrist of the other twice, then repeating the action but using the opposite hand)

i belong on the train at night
track goes by with ***** of light
never will i leave or ever arrive
far in the distance, a child cries

(repeat repeat repeat repeat)
(repeat repeat repeat repeat)

(stop when you have calmed down or when the repetition becomes so that you hurt yourself. repeat everytime you can't handle your own existence)

Is this all there is?
I wake up
I go to school
or maybe I'll have a bit of food before I go back to sleep again.

I brush my teeth
I take a ****
I look at myself in the mirror
I brush my hair

Every morning is almost the same
I text you, or you text me.
We talk for hours
sometimes even talking while I'm *******
and we're fine with that

In school, I listen
I look around
smile at people
I don't usually get a smile back, but I don't really care.

I get home in the afternoon
lie down on my bed
maybe cook
I guess I'm spontaneous that way.

I'm in love
I'm in pain
I'm lonely
I'm annoyed

I look at my skin and I feel like I could do better
but I just say "**** it" and move on

It's monotonous
It's repetitive

But if I could do it all with you

I'm fine with it.

it’s simply awesome
how much energy
is spent to document
the newness of the news
    no matter how repetitive
    may be the words of the reporters

the hype needs to be built
no matter whether right or stilted
driven by fear the topic might be wilted
a minute later

and half an hour later
you hear the same with minor variations
adorned with various speculations
so that the viewers may get the illusion
it’s NEW – though it is old,
    and just repetitive

an endless loop of hyped-up trivialities
     of who did what and when and why
     maybe with whom   or not
makes you aware that even new banalities
rarely include what really matters
to the majority of people on this globe

I did.
Fall where i swore "Not too".
So what? In the end, i got You.

For a split-second- or at least,
what I felt. In the end
I had You. Right?

Its okay to enjoy the silence and peace of being alone
but its not okay to dwell in the darkness of silence and let it devour your soul

A hungry predator
lurking in the shadows
Its growl the plaintive buzz in an empty room
Its breath the repetitive tick of a clock
right
behind
you.

Don't let it get close
shut the monster out and see the spirits
so many that they're like air
smiling at you.
Fuel your soul with the right silence.