I stand on the dawn of a new existence,
Dawn of a new
Me.
The way it's been
Battling
the way it will be
Past,
Playing peek a boo with
Now.
Soft breeze hitting my shoulder
Feels just like then.
Another breeze carrying scent,
Now I'm there
Cutting lilacs from the bush to bring
Inside.
One more breeze,
Twisting and dancing with song,
Me floating back to a passenger seat
Singing along, silly and safe
Smile from then moving my lips into the same
Position.
Strangers passing, some notice
Guessing what could be making this
Solitary woman smile to
Herself.
Wind picks up again,
This time it gently pushes a
Wisp of cigarette smoke.
I can see him exhale it, between
Fits, rampages.
Watch it leave it his lips and sit
Stale in the air
Taunting me, teasing me, slithering into my
Baby lungs
Trying to force me to cough, disturb
Him another reason to
Rage.
Sibling breeze tickles my ear with a man's voice
"Breathe, just breathe"
Back in that room again, radio his co-conspirator,
Hiding my screams with
Prodigy.  
"Breathe baby" one hit wonder, one hit noone remembers, except me. Thier one hit forever
Entwined with my one virginity,
Stolen by a boy
Breeze has cooled,
It kisses my shoulders, icy
Lips. I feel snow creeping down my neck,
Feel my eyes frantically looking,
Feel my throat trying to yell,
Amazed I can't even get death right,
Wondering what damage was done in the
Descent.

I'm home, in the now.
Body still damp from shower,
Droplets of water fall from wet hair,
Run down neck
Dissappear under shirt.
Cut off the fan,  enough breeze for one day
News is on, weather up next,
Tomorrow will be warm and windy.
I sigh, curl under blankets, ready for
Retreat into sleep
In the morning I wake, ready for sleepy entanglement.
I make love to the past,
Kiss it goodbye

Dawn turns to day and freshness
Begins.

Time is the lingering of the past which the present tries to shield from the future. The future is the growth we take from the lessons time has taught us.  Each is unique as the individual barer. Time grants closure and renews hope.

If you were here
and warm,
I would inhale
your breath,
hold your spirit
in my lungs
and become
young again.
  - mce

I've never felt so tranquil
In my very own skin;
I would shed it
And grow another
Just to feel this way again.

Some changes happen too quickly
To observe with the eye -
Some fractures flex so fast one wonders
    where they came from, suddenly
Water is leaking in,
The mind floods, you didn't intend
To let things get so dismayed.

Some changes happen so slowly
They can only be noticed in retrospect,
Collapsing each frame into immediate adjacency,
Only later appreciating each movement and change,
Trying hard to reckon all the time that has passed,
Suddenly sick with your inability to recollect -
Where did each minute go? What did
    each moment try to say when
    you weren't listening?
They eventually wrote you a note and left -
    no phone number to call, no address to follow -
But it isn't your fault you couldn't see
Each changing thing, each slow tear, every
    wear and stretch,
Most aren't even our doing, most things
We don't expect to break, but everything
    degrades,
Day after day, eventually, in
Reviewing each crease it's obvious
How things have folded and bent
Again and again, but only after
The lines are permanent.

My body bewildered and depleted,
Fragile as the needy me that fed it
Nothing and everything,
Ravaged through the raw, wet decades
Of abuse, and despair.

Bile-tainted, anger-stained
I gazed up, up, and into myself.
Those were the eyes of a determined dreamer,
The heart of a lioness,
Slowly curving mouth prepared to roar.

I am a woman who has learned
I am not this belly, I am not this body,
It is mine, and theirs, and yours.
I gaze upon it, gladly now,
Finding something
Finally worthy of love.