There's dimensions in you that I miss exploring, and phases in you that I find myself entrapped in. Feelings in you that I find myself entranced with, and love, in you that I find myself falling for. Within you somehow I found myself, yet it took me to lose you to really understand this. Lost in the world I look up and ask for the bribing of our venal God that if he can convince you to explain to you that I can encumber the universe with my small hands and offer it to you in seconds. The stars, the moon, the tides, the sun, the blues & all your favorite hues. I can still envision you unlocking what many have failed to do. Pushing the small of my back, I can still hear you breathing down my spine, your breathing intertwined with my curls, ugh...& so I ask of you not to demur, but to opt in & give me what I ask of you.. even if its selfish please let me love you. Let me love you twice, let me love you right this time. I know I can get it right this time, I know because of my lack of understanding, insipience and insincerity it has led you to astray us, but I entrust in you and the universe to unravel your blindfold & understand the missing links in you that I can perfectly paint for you with the same hands that have always made love to you. This isnt an apologia it's a declaration of my love to you. This is a letter to you, to God, to the Universe, a manifestation in the works that I am putting out into the world. I love you & I love you for many more years to come.

I lay on my bed and stare at a blank space.
Listened to our song remembering your face.
I remember the way you loved me on my greatest.
How you made me satisfied and happy to the fullest.
It's midnight, when everyone is fragile and sad.
It's midnight, and all I can think is how you made me go mad.
Maybe midnight is the only time when I feel blue.
Maybe midnight is the only time I can think of you.

You didn't want to greet me yet,
You said it's not yet 12.
I laughed and thought,
That's so much like you.

I was alone outside our house,
Seeing those kids waiting for new year.
While, I didn't feel anything but sadness.
It was just a normal day for me not like that past where everything was so great.

I stared at my phone, it's 12 already.
I suddenly heard noises.
When I looked at those kids outside,
I suddenly got a notification.

It was you,
I smiled and thought,
You really greeted me.
You were the first one to do it that day.