I... I think I’m relapsing I’m unsteady Unstable The aching in my heart Won’t quit It’s empty My body tense and shaking I’m still in control It’s not like it was But it’s not a good sign...
I feel like running I want to hide To slip deeper into darkness Dwell in the night I want to throw these burdens Off my weak shoulders The heaviest of which Is how much you care It’s keeping me here Teetering on the fulcrum Between recovery and relapse And I guess we’ll see Which way the burdens Force me to lean
I’m so **** scared Of relapsing So I play these games Distract myself Even as the feelings creep in I tell myself a different story Make up some excuse Point them anywhere else But now I’m so confused I can’t remember what were lies Except for the one truth: I’m so **** scared Of relapsing
I suspect that I also am your old drug as well It's just that you're clean And ever cleaner than me I suspect that's what commitment does to people It keeps them clean As clean as can be
i held an old friend to my wrist tonight panicked and unable to breath a mess of sickening sobs he pressed down against me holding me in a comforting embrace the tears soon ceased and again i could breath beneath my wristwatch band i’ll keep this forbidden secret nobody can know but me nobody can know but me.
I read the newspaper stained in black I watch the television covered in blood I listen to the corrupted comebacks Coming from the people I used to love
The world holds so much negativity As I try to escape my own I cower from the harsh world outside Counting my reasons to be alone
I was raised to fear the world Just follow what others say Continue being the passive wallflower As I count my reasons to stay
Out there is a world where I fall and fail While my inner world consumes me Overstimulated and stressed in all kinds Desperately searching for peace
