You stole my heart...
.....But not my dreams..
....I am bent....
......but I am not broken...
......I am hurt....
.....but I am healing....
You may have damaged me....
But I am strong enough to take
The beatings
I am be forgotten...
But I am never lost.

the air gets cold, my lips turn blue
my insides burn just thinking of You
apprehensive, anxious, angry and stressed
reaching for nothing, extremely depressed

i can see You, but i cannot feel
i can hear You, but i'm not sure it's real

why can't we talk when You're just steps away?
at first You called it love, but we are strangers after today

when i see You, i'll have to press my lips together,
just so a hello doesn't escape
but what if it did, what would You say?
would You run up and hold me?
or just run away

Look at nature.
Yea, just do it.
And now, feel it.
Feel it in your bones.
Be it.
It’s wonderful, isn't it?
Your ****** thoughts
about being ugly and worthless
don’t mind anymore.
You’re one with this earth.
And this earth
is way more than beautiful.
So are you!
I know what I’m talking about,
I’ve been there too.
Pain.
Pain, always pain.
Start living a life
you’re proud of, sweetie.
Gosh, you really have adorable eyes!
Use them right
to see this beauty all around.
I believe in you.

I sit at I home trying to get my **** together
I am out in the public trying to show that
I have my **** together
Some days I have my **** together better than others
Some days anxiety floods my brain
with thoughts that
swishes swashes and sway
in random unpredictable directions
These days when my **** isn't together
I walk in public faking the best laugh and smile
Happiness is a decision
but my happy is an empty piggy bank
that broke before it was even used

the feeling of my body being
eaten away at
from the inside out
was
like the comfort of home
and the familiar feel
of a bed worn in
from
19 years of life.
the waves of dizziness
were waves of dreams
where I was
a horribly
disfigured version of myself,
but somehow a version
that I preferred.
the slow and weak
movements of
my body were signs
of strength
and a job well done,
not something
to be ashamed of.
my body was the enemy
and I
was determined to be
the *defeater

Constantly brushing my teeth in a desperate attempt to get the taste of you out of my mouth.

Unrequited Love is like the clouds blocking the sun from kissing me throught the window, but inside my chest.

Everybody who has ever kissed me regrets it and they wonder why I try to convince myself being alone is a choice and not all I have left.

Your fingertips traced my spine and I
s  h  a  t  t  e  r  e  d  .

Never understood why people always compared Love to Whiskey until you held me in your arms and I felt the burn in my throat when you let go.

I wonder how raw your hands are from scrubbing away the memories of what my skin felt like that night.

Had a dream you were sitting inside my chest, ripping construction paper in two and that's what it feels like when we talk.   It's tearing me apart.  

I stopped letting you take pictures of me out of fear that your eyes would adjust and see me the way I see myself.

It never occured to you that our hands and how they never fit together perfectly was a flashing neon sign saying TURN BACK NOW.

I've only ever held hands with one boy and sometimes I still feel the shadow of his fingertips and that's why both my wrists are broken.

All the picture frames are facing down because I can't shake the shadows that cling to our faces.

I am something to be ashamed of, your ***** little secret that you can only let yourself want when everything is still and quiet.

I JUST KEEP PUNCHING THE WALLS AND BREAKING DOWN BECAUSE THEY WON'T EVER BREAK THE WAY YOU BROKE ME. I CAN'T REPLICATE THE DAMAGE YOU'VE DONE.

If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don't;
If you'd like to win, but think you can't,
It's almost a cinch you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you're lost,
For out in the world we find
Success begins with a person's faith;
It's all in the state of mind.
Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster hand;
They go to the one who trusts in Life
And always thinks, "I can."

I never had a chance
Because I never needed it
I should of had a deal
Because my emotions don't want be in a steal
Its got to be real
Or it's nothing at all