Constantly brushing my teeth in a desperate attempt to get the taste of you out of my mouth.

Unrequited Love is like the clouds blocking the sun from kissing me throught the window, but inside my chest.

Everybody who has ever kissed me regrets it and they wonder why I try to convince myself being alone is a choice and not all I have left.

Your fingertips traced my spine and I
s  h  a  t  t  e  r  e  d  .

Never understood why people always compared Love to Whiskey until you held me in your arms and I felt the burn in my throat when you let go.

I wonder how raw your hands are from scrubbing away the memories of what my skin felt like that night.

Had a dream you were sitting inside my chest, ripping construction paper in two and that's what it feels like when we talk.   It's tearing me apart.  

I stopped letting you take pictures of me out of fear that your eyes would adjust and see me the way I see myself.

It never occured to you that our hands and how they never fit together perfectly was a flashing neon sign saying TURN BACK NOW.

I've only ever held hands with one boy and sometimes I still feel the shadow of his fingertips and that's why both my wrists are broken.

All the picture frames are facing down because I can't shake the shadows that cling to our faces.

I am something to be ashamed of, your ***** little secret that you can only let yourself want when everything is still and quiet.

I JUST KEEP PUNCHING THE WALLS AND BREAKING DOWN BECAUSE THEY WON'T EVER BREAK THE WAY YOU BROKE ME. I CAN'T REPLICATE THE DAMAGE YOU'VE DONE.

If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don't;
If you'd like to win, but think you can't,
It's almost a cinch you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you're lost,
For out in the world we find
Success begins with a person's faith;
It's all in the state of mind.
Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster hand;
They go to the one who trusts in Life
And always thinks, "I can."

I never had a chance
Because I never needed it
I should of had a deal
Because my emotions don't want be in a steal
Its got to be real
Or it's nothing at all

i know you're hurting
you're walking a lonely road with no streetlights
and you can hear rustling but see nothing
don't stumble, lean on me
i'm here in this darkness with you and
i will hold your hand through it all
if you get scared, give it a squeeze
my eyes are watering but your legs
are shaking
i'm tired but i'll try to carry you

explain to me why destruction is considered an art?
if i were you, i’d find a way to fight it.
as if destruction was an abstraction to describe to one’s self in a physical installation for all to see in a rarely visited gallery
we lock the doors because we are ashamed of the critics marking and making spiteful points as they leave red marks all over the walls
almost as if the surfaces were like a test paper without any attempt of answering or the tear and wear of the skin you bare

it was always war that we wouldn't label with a numeral to go down in the big books. instead, we whispered it under the sheets. we posted our thoughts on anonymous accounts that go hand in hand with a little lock sign in the corner. we used thunder in our words knowing that reaction that resulted resembled lightning.

as if a tattered canvas could make up for your bruised and battered soul

here’s my advice ; leave the doors unlocked just for a day, you might be surprised at what you find

scarred skin
beckons so sweetly
razors gleam
and sing a siren's song

liquid fire
smells so sweet
bottles clink
and promise a forgetful haze

cabinets so full
cookies freshly baked
wrappers lure
and promise to fill the void

i close my eyes

grab my journal
leather so soft in my hands

and write

I Am Not Sad
I Am Not Alone
I Am Being Irrational

i cry for hours
because it feels like a lie

living in a recovering body
when my pain
aches for an escape
or a band-aid
however temporary

my tears could fill
the Atlantic

no matter how much you ground me
i will never stay grounded by you
i have my own wings
i have my sister's wings
i have my mother's wings
i have my father's wings
you may have destroyed my wings
but am offered new ones to fight you harder.