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Nicole Feb 2019
My heart broke 700 times

I'm glad you found your closure
It feels like it opened a cavity in my chest
A billowing hole ******* the air
From out of my lungs and
Away from my brain
Away from the sanity I've created
Where I thought I felt secure
But instead the infrastructure was so weak
That the simple memories you mentioned
Left a mark on me yet again
As my heavy heart weighs me to my bed
And I wish so desperately to be alone
I feel as though I'm dying
I must accept reality as it is
I know that all too well
That's why I agreed to meet
To see you
To see me
To see us
Now
We're different than we once were
And while I understand how and why
My soul mourns the moment
And I know I should just live it fully
Because so soon it'll pass
And once again
We'll be strangers on the street
One heart armored with reinforced steel
The other a sloppy mess of
Broken shards and what ifs
Rotting until it turns to ash
And new flowers bloom from its death
Speaking Eyes Aug 2018
Here es my scape from the world
because it never stops…
Neither for you or anyone else
it does not matter the pain,
the injustice,
it doesn't matter the lost
the crime
the scream
no tears can stop this…

So just here I can find a place to reconnect with myself
and keep going
Here is my healing place…

Soon I become again in the human I love to be
the human that believes in love, life, happiness,
solidarity, loyalty…
And I can keep being different in a world
where so much people is worried about badness
about awful things…
And I can be one of those that brings hope to the rest
that helps healing, that maybe is just a grain of sand
but this grain of sand is doing something.
Àŧùl Nov 2016
If you decide to come back,
With an open heart,
I'll keep my tools ready,
Performed will be an open-heart surgery,
Where an incision into your heart,
Will be made to remove the blockage,
Then love will flow unobstructed in your heart.

The various crap you read about love I meant,
That surely is the chief restricting factor,
It has cost you the pure true love,
It did cost you the caring nature of mine,
I've lost the will to live,
With my sad heart,
If you will rather not come.

My body has started revolting,
Pushed I am closer to oblivion,
Though my arms still long for you,
I have my second thoughts too,
Because if I die soon after marriage,
As is already most probable,
I don't want to widow you.

So I give you the modern window you seek,
The window to happiness & harmony,
Go ahead and grasp the opportunity,
Worry not about the blame,
Because I bear the responsibility,
Cost it would more lot of money,
I fear cancer for the expenses.

Fear I don't the cost,
There are few wellwishers,
Relatives and acquaintances,
Who might help me bear the cost,
Fear I do the ensuing loneliness,
**** me it would for sure,
I fear a quiet seclusion.

Because once I could bear it,
Twice it would rather **** me,
For I am not the immortal god,
Scared I'm as ending days ****,
Beckon me does a lonely death,
Death which I no longer fret,
But loneliness is a threat.

For she failed to cease my heart once,
She might as well fail even twice,
Death has had old scores with me,
Averted she was the last time,
Coz I suspect my own body now,
My happiness destiny will mow,
Give me it will grief of loneliness.
HP Poem #1257
©Atul Kaushal
Jellyfish Oct 2016
You make my heart soar,
You make me feel sublime.
taia Jul 2016
there's nothing better
than a warm embrace after
the coldest silence
Rachel Dyer Nov 2015
You used to be a safe haven
A place to nestle against your warmth and love.
Before you turned craven,
And rejected everything I offered with a brusque shove.

You are now my unsafe haven
Every word you speak you twist and tangle
Your meaning like the feathers of a raven
And the sweet memories are now seen from a different angle

Look what you have lost my darling!
My love, my trust, my admiration.
Every time we speak my inner animal is snarling.
Gnashing at the veneer draped thinly over your oration.

The instinct to fight, and the instinct to surrender to your lies collide
One animal baring teeth and readying for our witty battle
The other slinking toward you, her will to hurt you died.
But behind every sweet word I hear the deceit rattle.

You play the game like no one I have ever known
A true master, an ace at pleasures of the now
But I no longer wish to play, all the cards I have I've shown
So keep your prize, I no longer want your broken vow.

You are full of danger and desire
Of pain and hate and lies
I truly don't think you want to be a liar
But in the end it is always me who tries.
Jealousy is a loaded gun,
And you made each of their names
Bullets in my chamber.

The end of the barrel
Kisses me softly,
Between the eyes,
Where you used to.
And as you twirl them all round in a Russian Roulette
My finger quivers over the trigger.

Sweat makes it impossible to grip
And thinking back makes it
Impossible
To think forward...
What next?

You cocked it,
The gun,
So I'm ready to go.
I think...

Until, you reach out and try to save me.
Your hand touching mine
Losens my grip on the gun,
My finger becomes limp and I come back to life as
Your promises disarm me,
Your reassurance unloads the gun and
The bullets become evanescent in your kiss.
Inspired by San Cisco's song Jealousy from the lyric "jealousy is like a loaded gun". Alongside past experiences...

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