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Mary Allard Oct 2018
without you i'm healing
towards you there's no feeling
but when i'm with you
my mind starts reeling
my head falls back, eyes towards the ceiling
asking God in a whisper
"what kind of hand are you dealing??"
x Jul 2018
you are everything
you are everything good
and sweet
you are everything i deserved
but not anymore.
i am not what you deserve
you deserve more
than a damaged girl
that can’t quite
get over
a boy that has tried
to destroy her
Timur Shamatov Jun 2018
One night with her will make a hard man humble,
The night is full of love but it's never free. You'll give your soul just to have an Angel fill you up with ecstasy.
As the rays of sun illuminate the scene,
I realize it's the Devil lying next to me.
Esther May 2018
Nouns verbalized
Like how nature composed wind
So we could feel something
The words rolled off our tongues tied
Did they make you feel something?

1st boy
His golden irises reflected
A sinful abyss
I fell in too deep
The magnetic field got too strong
I could swear on a Bible that it was
Love that i felt
But only the universe would know.

2nd boy
His hand found mine
In miserable wreckage
Rebound
I hit the ground hard
I promised myself
"No feelings"
But only the universe would know.
Feelings are too complex to be put into words.
bakunawa Apr 2018
You've always seen right through me...
It's like
I'm looking into your eyes
    and I see forbidden fruit...         
a forbidden love         
It's like
I'm staring into a mirror
trying so hard          
to look for myself    
but all I see is black.
Like a corpse---            
It's like
I give all I have
In love with you
---Ectoplasm---    
             I give all I am          
To be with you
To let you feel      
  Who I am...
----I am a poltergeist----   
It's like
I'm reaching out
My hands open wide
Extended towards you
      and when              
you look                  
it's like                      
     you don't even see me----
We hug
and it's as if    
you could          
almost just              
pass right through me----
It's like
We love each other...
But it feels like                  
Necrophilia.        
It's like I'm gone...
even if you're looking            
straight into my smile                
my smile I force myself
for you to see                  
it's like you're still looking---                
you can't see me can you?    
forcing a smile
on my face          
day          
by              
day                
do you even know
      that I just smile for you          
because
I'm tired of you
always crying for him        
   night              
    by            
night        
But you can't even
See the smile don't you?
----It's like I'm his ghost----
It's like
I'm a nightmare            
and I'm haunting you                
except I'm right here          
always right in front of you.                        
------always waiting to be noticed.    
always.        
Waiting for you to realize
That love is not a ghost.                    
Love is not a graveyard.                    
Love is not somewhere lost.            
Love is not sealed up in heaven.    
Nor is it burning in the void of hell.
Love is here                              
Love is waiting in front of you                      
always----                                                  
even as you were crying for him                  
    even as you were lying for him
even as you were fighting for him        
even as you were falling for him                        
even as you were breaking over him
even as you were blinded by him                         
even as you were losing him
even as you were mourning for him...    
always----
Even if I'm            
the only love                
you're allowed                  
to love,                                      
you've never                
allowed yourself                
to love me...                              
You've always seen right through me...
We are both alive but when we hold each other it feels like necrophilia---- there is emptiness in your eyes even if I pour all I am to fill you up daily....
bakunawa Apr 2018
She held me in place
And did all to mend my wounds
She did all---- but stay.
Okay, suture is basically not a normal human name lol, it is the surgical thread used in stitching together skin. Most variations of suture are designed to be naturally shed or washed off the skin in time---- pls don't let that be someone who binds up your wounds man :)
I wish that you hadn’t stolen glances at me from the rear view mirror;
I wish that you hadn’t gazed so hard into my eyes until my ears had turned red;
I wish you didn’t see all the good in me
I wish that I didn’t feel this way;

I wish we had the time;
I wish you had gotten to truly know me;
But if I can’t make you happy then someone else surely can.

So from now I will stop wishing.

I’ll stop wishing that you’d hold me
I’ll stop wishing that we’d share a life together
I’ll stop wishing that we would build a family
I’ll stop seeing myself fight for you daily
(Because I would have fought for you)

I had your back.
I am angry,
Because you led me on.
I am angry,
Because I realize now that I was the rebound.
But most of all,

I’m angry because we didn’t try.

But I am nobodies second choice.
Not now.
Not Ever.
Jeff Gaines Apr 2018
Hello everyone,

  I'm so very sorry … I feel horrible doing this, but I have no choice. You see, I have published my first book on Amazon/Kindle! This piece (and many others) had to be taken down because they do not allow published material to be available online for free. (Go figure) I wanted to leave the shell of the posts because I felt compelled to leave all your helpful and loving comments. (Silly sentimental, I know), but I also didn't want to just have the pieces disappear without an explanation. I feel bad enough as it is!

  I owe ALL of you so, SO much for all of your reads, love, and support. It was YOU that gave me the gumption to FINALLY get off my **** and publish! Thank you all for the warm comments, camaraderie, and encouragement! I will still be here, reading, uploading and just being the Rascal that I am. How could I EVER leave you guys?

  The book is called “The Way I See It – FictionPhilosophySoul Food” and it will be FREE for the first few days on Kindle Select, so watch for it, if you are interested. I hope that you go and grab it. If you do, I would also hope that you find it worthy, you would leave me a good review. That will help me get in the public eye! Soon afterwards (2-3 days or so), it will be available in paperback.

Find the book(s) here: www.amazon.com/author/jeff.gaines

Or find the book(s), and all about me, here: www.JeffGaines.world

  Soon after, I also hope to have my first novel (a supernatural thriller), called “Wanderer” available as well!

  Wish me luck!

                                Big, Biggest Love,

                                               Jeff Gaines
After five years, and being engaged with, my high school sweetheart and I split up. It was inevitable. We were kinda bad for one another anyways. Lies, cheating, etc. and far too young to really get what being married really meant. And even if we were finally realizing it, it was far and away too late. The damages were already done. It would have ended in tears, no matter what, I'm certain of it. Leopards rarely change their spots.

While in the "daze" of this split, I met a girl that was known, in my small town, as the most beautiful around. Everyone knew her, as she was a bartender at the hottest club in town and when guys spoke in circles of women in town ... they were inevitably compared to her.

I knew her in passing. she had made me many a drink. But I paid her little mind as I assumed someone of her caliber dated professional athletes or really rich guys. She was nice, as was I ... but that was it. Besides, in those moments ... back in those days ... I had a fiance.

I got a DJing gig at the after hours bottle club and lo-and-behold, guess who worked there? I was in such a daze, I still gave her barely a glance. This drove her mad, apparently. She asked the other bartender, an old friend of mine from school who had gotten me the gig, why I was so ******. Her reply was to explain about my ex and I and that I was really tore up about it.

Being the Angel that I later learned she was, she decided to be my self-appointed rebound girl. You read that correctly. SELF APPOINTED! I swear, I wanted nothing to do with it. Like I say in the lullaby, I tried to resist. But she was having NONE of that. In those next several months, she was my constant, and I do mean constant, companion. Unless at work, she wouldn't let me be alone for a moment. I have to admit, while it sounds like crowding or choking, it wasn't ... and I didn't mind at all. She constantly made me laugh and smile.

None of the guys in town could believe she was my girlfriend ... and none would believe me when I swore we were "just dating", because we were seen all over town day and night ... Restaurants, Pubs, Pool Hall, Beach, the Mall, parties, slow dancing at the local Dance Clubs, the Go Cart Track, Denny's at 4 a.m. ... everywhere.

Being with her took all that soul crushing pain away. I was eating again. Laughing again. Holding my head up again. I wasn't drunk out of my mind every night. Even my thousand mile stare had disappeared. She made me happy and filled me with the cocky confidence I'd once wielded like boss. She was just a Godsend.

But towards the end, I began to really fall for her. She had told me that we would NEVER be boyfriend/girlfriend. THAT was how she convinced me that she wouldn't end up hurt as a rebound girl and to let her in.

But now, ironically, it was me in danger of being hurt. Angel that she is, she sensed this and gently let it end just after our big New Years "weekend".

I knew it was coming, we'd actually agreed to it being our last hurrah. But on Christmas Eve, I wrote this lullaby and I sang it to her in my waterbed, with a Santa cap on, as I held her in my big arms with her head on my chest. She cried a bit and squeezed me tighter than she'd ever done before.

It was my way of saying "Thank You" ... and "Goodbye".

I was such a mess when she had scooped up my heart. I suffer to think of the downward spiral she never let me fall in to ... especially after I tried so hard to resist her in the name of chivalry.

In hindsight, it was HER who had given ME the lesson in chivalry.

She truly is an Angel.
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