white skin
the right skin
i havent got that light skin
dark neither
im just a shade inbetween
and what does that mean?
im never seen
as the person i am,
only not white enough
not dark enough
not good enough
well im trying
im trying to fit
but pictures arent complete
when half the pictures missing.

rejected by both sides
how can you take pride
when you dont look the part?
its been an art
to refine
walking on the fine line
between them and them
but lately theyve asked me
silent words
to jump off that ledge
push over the edge
but which one?
help me help me help me
but you cant can you?
because the blood in your body
the same as their veins
makes you not understand.
a predisposition
a position
taken by yourself
or by society?

and when i work twice as hard
but she
with her photocopy paper
money and skin
when i do everything you ask
and more?
you take her money
you take her skin
you give her another opportunity
to prove something
her colour’s already proven

A change in complexion
A different choice of race
A cross of border union
A wider palate of taste

A shake-up down in Sussex
A paler skin exception
A dilution of the line
A pallid revolution

the transitory nature of
your touch

disconcerting emotions sustained
by memories that stick like dust

i can’t get enough of this-
whatever ‘this’ is

my mind harps on about
your warmth, presence, and kiss

your broken hands grasp mine,
my poisoned lips touch yours;

nothing more than a sad race
to see who succumbs first

to the secret silencing both of us:
subdued, i bite my tongue

‘love’s’ just a synonym for ‘guilt’
and guilt’s the only race that i have won.

color isn't just the sky, i know that.
the rain, the snow, and all the blues
along with the different hues that
make me
(and you)

color isn't just all niceness, although
there's many a nice (and a vice) that
throws its body behind
its color, like (for instance) the deep dark red of
lust, or blood

color isn't just a thing that's there and with
its cosmic strength and chroma-power,
just sits upon your face as if saying
"i'm not actually here."

but,
then what? was it before
(i won't lie) my friends said that among
the many guys i've liked?
you are? a bit, uh,
kind of different?
different kind of...? it was a bit
awkward, they said
you need your own
spectrum? what?
they said,
they said,
they said...

you're
brown.

and hah...
of course you're brown, of course-- you're not
just brown, you're
very brown and definitely positively
brown and yes, you're
one of them, and of course! that matters, yes,
it matters that
you're one of
them.

(brown) (brown?) (brown.)

and of course i'm not brown, i'm just
very not brown, i'm very unlike you and
very yellow, definitely positively
yellow and you know what? of course
that matters. that i'm not one of
you and
rather, one of
them.

it's almost funny? how the sky
has always been very blue, the clouds
have always been definitely white, the grass
has always been positively green and yet
you? and you? you've definitely, positively
always been...

no,
you haven't.
always
been
brown.

but they said (i won't lie) to
open
my
eyes, and so
you know what?

i did.