You saw my bracelet
Asked what it said
I felt a bit embarrassed
I think my face turned red.

"My story isn't over yet"
I sheepishly replied
"There's a semicolon too"
A piece inside of me died.

Mental health awareness,
I tried to explain
Yet I be you wondered
If I was truly sane

It might turn you away
I don't know what you'd say
If you knew the real me
What I struggle with each day

It will forever be a factor
When I meet someone new
I'm prepared for the worst,
Most don't know what to do.

Will he understand?
Most probably not.
He'll probably think I'm crazy
I get that a lot

I'll see where this goes
Won't let my hopes rise too high
I may have scared him off,
Always prepared for good bye

Daddy,
I know when I was born it was stressful; you already had two boys that needed your attention. But I needed you too and I know you gave me as much time as you could. You were busy I get it; that’s why you were never home. I’m not sure where you were or what you were doing especially late at night; but as long as it was more important than your children then it was okay right? Don’t worry you weren’t the only one to blame, Mommy wasn’t around much either. She was always working to make up for what you couldn’t supply us with. During the day at Home Depot and at night McDonalds, I know it wasn’t her dream job but you both started a family before either of you were ready. Mommy was the backbone of the family; she picked up the slack for all the things you seemed to lack. Because of both of your absences, this forced us to stay with our aunts the majority of the time; not that I ever minded, I love them so much and we always had a great time. But Daddy what you don’t realize to this day is what a girl without a father can turn into. Once you and Mommy split and the divorce was final I hoped day and night you would want a custody battle. Not because I thought you would be a better fit for us to live with but because it would have shown your kids you care, especially your little princess. Instead Mom got us during the week and you on the weekends but that soon ended when you met your new mistress. I was seven years old, and impressionable child and you walked right out of my life. Some parents pass away causing a child to become orphaned; but not you, you were in perfect health and perfect stature and you made the decision to leave. Do you even know how much I was hurting? Daddy you changed me and I don’t know if it was for the better. My father figure was PJ, my older brother, my entire world; if it wasn’t for him I don’t know who of where I would be today. But he eventually left me to however not for the same reasons as you. He went into the Air Force and did some good for his country; but that hurt to because after he left I felt truly alone, I had no one to tell all my secrets too. Nobody that I knew I could trust with my life. Daddy you’re the reason for all of my insecurities. You’re the reason I don’t see beauty or worth in myself; I look into the mirror and see a stranger staring back. I look into my eyes and I see you and that scares me so much. I don’t want to be you; but it’s inevitable. I don’t know the person I’ve become. I am afraid of myself and how is someone suppose to live like that? You’re the reason I can’t get close to anyone without the fear that one day without the least bit of warning they will just get up and walk away, I mean that’s how it works right? You are the reason I’m so quiet around people. You are the reason I’m fake. You’re the reason I have regrets in my life. I’ve done some things I’m not proud of and I lie to the ones I’m suppose to love. I want to believe that you leaving was a good thing, like Mommy always said you were a dead beat father anyway. But I can’t say that. You were absent for 8 straight years of my life. Not a single phone call or a simple text asking how my day was or even an I love you. And worst of all I didn’t even know where I could find you. When you finally came back into my life it was 8 years to late and all the money and gifts couldn’t buy back my love. Daddy, I use to say I love you every night and pray that one day you would see that light that Daddy I could be a good girl. I use to ask myself what I did wrong; why wasn’t I good enough? To this day I ask myself how can I be good enough for anyone or loved by anyone if my own father couldn’t even stand me? I know you tried hard to make up for the lost years but you are a stranger to me now. I don’t know who you are anymore and I don’t know what to believe. And Daddy you know what hurt the most, making Father’s Day presents in school. I never said anything but I always wondered who to give them to because I didn’t have a Daddy. But can I tell you a secret? Mommy’s not all that I thought she was either. Nights I thought she was working late and mornings when I thought she left early were all a lie. I found out now that she never came home the night before. She was out with other men as much as you were with other women. And Daddy after the divorce, Mommy would send us to our aunts again so that she could try to find a man to take your place. You both aren’t really all that different and i know you don’t want to admit it but you both care more about a ****** partner than your own ****** children.

Please hurry and speak,
I'm already terrified,
I wont know what I'll do,
I just want to set this aside....

Please don't hurt me...
Ask questions I can answer,
It'll be useless to ask me
Questions where I have no power.

Please don't shout at me,
I'm already tired of crying,
I didn't want to come and talk,
But I'm already trying.

By Arcassin Burnham


Stopped talking since the day I wrote her in my phone,
Not even talking to my friends, I hope they leave me alone,
I wasn't worthy then and I'm not worthy now to the throne,
To the be the king of her heart,
Is this how my life starts?,
I got bad memories of things I do not wanna remember,
But this one of when it was me and her cuddled in December,
She needed someone and I was there cause nobody would linger,
Like thanks for ******* Me Over,
You and all your friends got quite older...


/



Have you ever had so much love for the person that you thought
Was gonna see this through to the end with you?
Have you ever wanted nothing more to worship the ground that
They walked on everyday praising their issues?
Have you ever wanted so much happiness and future plans for
Seeing kids that might or might not exist?
If you give up on me now , this never happens and I'll be traumatized
With wanting to be all over you..
Palms sweatin',
Feet cold and,
Body shakin',
Just to let you know and',
Eyes twitchin',
Mouth dry',
Walking to you,
I can't tell my legs,
But I'll be good If you say yes....

Me: Hey
Her: Hey what's up.......what's wrong,
Me: I have something to tell you,
Her: Sure , Anything From You,
Me: Listen ...um..I know that we've been friends for how long?
Her: 3 years haha , Me: yes 3 ...... And I wanna be able for us to
Have more years,
Her: What Are You Saying right now , is something wrong?
Me: No it's .....just I've holding this in since 9th grade..and I
Feel that it's only right if I tell you now,
Her: Sure , I guess,
Me: You're always so loyal , And you've always been there when
I had no one , my Best friend , the person I love more than anything,
Ive had a bad life coming up towards this moment and I just wanna
Create better ones with you, So I ask ....will you my girlfriend?
Her: Um... Wow...I don't know what to say............... How can I say this
without breaking our friendship?
Me: What ?tell me...
Her: I already found someone...............and I love him...
Me:..............
Her: I'm sorry (Walks Away).

By Arcassin Burnham

The sun , the stars are always happy seeing your face in astonishing
When your excited Just for a minute,
I'm all out of puns , but now i just got bad jokes , I'll use they're times
Wisely, just for a minute,
I'm was always on some kind of medication spazzing out and bumming
but only just For a minute,
And through it all you stood by me with guardian-like intentions with
All your fears and hopes just for a minute,

Randomly assigned to make you laugh at every aspect seeing as
You have a hard time at school with kids and grades,
Kawaii nails for grabs and the girls really liked your style,
May have a lot on my plate too but I like your smile,
Trancish features , even all your teachers think your beautiful,
Sitting on the bleachers , not knowing that it's my heart that you
Really stole.



/


Scratching wood does not remind me , of your,
Squeamish Skin when I touch,
Don't think of you as a trophy, cause I'm,
Living , living in your love,
Two days would pass by me love , but it wouldn't,
Stop me from dreaming you,
Tree carvings wouldn't be the only, cause,
The cause of feeling blue,

Could ya , could ya , be a , be a,
Everything that I've been hoping for,

I could  be ya , I could , I could , be ya,
Everything forever and more,
Could ya , could ya , be a , be a,
Everything that I've been hoping for,

I could  be ya , I could , I could , be ya,
Everything forever and more,


Breaking all this silence between us,
Boring all these trees.

By Arcassin Burnham

Best friends turn to enemies real quick,
And I don't wanna lose you,
If I let you know my secret, then the last thing I wanna
Do is hurt you, why do I feel so lonely this time,
why do I feel so lonely this time,

Don't wanna be rejected if I let you know the thing behind my silence
I've been keeping in so that I could just tell you when the time
Was right to tell when I had the chance and saw the opportunity
Coming right in front of me, confronting me,
Controlling me,
How come you oversee my intentions not knowing that I just wanna
Pursue you due to my rhymes,
why do I feel so lonely this time,
If I was eager enough to step to your throne,
You had two choices, talk or leave me alone,
Long conversations at night just embracing our phones,
Hoping your heart don't get covered in stone,
I was that lonely boy that would sleep on your line,
And when you come around I know that everything will be fine,
But why do I feel so lonely this time,

Best friends turn to enemies real quick,
And I don't wanna lose you,
If I let you know my secret, then the last thing I wanna
Do is hurt you, why do I feel so lonely this time,
why do I feel so lonely this time.