I tried to walk along the sands of time
Wishing my footprints would one day be seen
But I got lost in the uphill climb
Consumed by a dream of what could have been
Struggling to breathe in the thin air of hope
I'm looking for a clear path ahead
There's no way back down this slippery *****
All that I see are illusions instead.
Are there signs that will tell me where to go?
I'm tired of waiting for them to arrive
If this is what it means to learn and grow
I'll make a move, aiming to stay alive.

Is it blood or birth?
Too dark to tell.
Is it heathenism or hope?
Too dark to tell.
Is it faith or freedom?
Too dark to tell.

The night is now
Too dark to tell.
In the trenches, we dig
Our graves of friendship.

Writing
Drinking
Thinking
Thinking

Eating
Drinking
Thinking
Writing

Sighing

There are certain emotions I am unable to process
They’ve left me suffocated. They cause me to stress
Stress over things that might be of no value in the near future
But it is now; they make me feel like I am a complete loser
These emotions go tough on my body but they flow with ease as I bleed on paper
And the feelings I once had for people I loved, are depleting layer by layer.

A forked tongue on display
Desperate to divert apart
as head and heart seem separate
Sometimes we have to surrender to loss as opportunity knocks
Times will come when
difficult decisions are deemed useful
As transitions are a learning tool for all
Pain is part of the process of progress
Acknowledge the logical steps that need to be met
Some set criteria may be inferior
But agree to abide by these guidance rules

I am not here
an old friend is waiting in my place
taking messages

I lie in bed and ask
where are you?
(I'm seeking myself)
all I hear back is
Not here.
Not here.

I try to remember
when I last felt like me
when my life felt mine
not foreign
I can remember tremendous pain
and since then
time has passed
without me in it

Separated for
hundreds of days and nights
where I am nowhere at all
I wonder, do I sometimes wake up in this world
this new life
and look around
before retreating again
retreat into the dark

I am floating
not here
not anywhere
I am not alive but I am
there is no root
there is no path back
there is no return at all
Only forward

My rebirth has taken 9 months.

send me away
to a place where i can scream
until my face turns blue
to a place where i have permission
to grieve
to a place where despair is a art
instead of a sin
send me away
for i cannot find that here

Esther Krenzin

I gave you my whole soul
You gave me your broken pieces
You took a loan, you never paid it
It hurts to see you don't keep your word
Hello and goodbye that's all we ever say to each other
Please keep your promises or I'll die
Once and for all, please leave those vices behind
I keep holding on the past where you left me on the floor crying
Even if you said you were sorry, I keep it all inside
My head hurts today, and tomorrow and forever
I wanna cry cause it heals
My heart is so broken, I don't even know
I know life is short, but these emotions keep afloat
I can barely breathe, God, show me the way to heal
otherwise, I don't know how to live