Bangkok Beasting
The Fake God is there with the other bosses
All having a powwow to decide what to do
We are dragged in there and lectured hard
The client wants more sales as do I
This you must do for June July and beyond

The target is 130 and you’ve just 18
You need a 1200 percent increase
Can you do this in 2 weeks yes or no?
I said yes but if we don’t we are all ******
The client can pull out in September
Instead of renewing the contract

The Fake God said Brian you remember
Yes Boss I remember a year ago
We got the contract and must again
I don’t wanna be part of a failure
The other boss said the client can
Bill us 2 months higher rates if we fail

Do I move the account elsewhere?
The real boss asked in another beasting
As much as I dislike Fake God’s attitude
I respect his sales skills and drive
The ****** will take us all to Hell

The real boss will observe us all
Away we go in this B2B **** up
It certainly gave Brian writing material
Tho he wished he was still in Manila
And not being beasted in Bangkok

What If?
Brian never thought he would work in a call centre
When he lived in Germany he was unemployed
And while looking for a job he was forced to go
Work in a call centre and refused creating a fuss
I’m not selling insurance or loft insulation!
Put me on fork lift truck training it’s my job
Not some **** call centre 2 towns away

The stupid ***** running the training place
Offered to buy Brian a bicycle and he laughed!
You silly ******* cow retrain me on fork lifts
I need to renew my outdated licence
Not work taking calls like a fool robot
Half a decade passed and Brian
Ate his words working in a call centre!

Lick Not Bite
Where is the sale?
Hiding in the sky
Quick reach up
Get the sale now!
Poor agents no sale
Time for a meeting
Then coaching session
And call monitoring
Are they following?
Teach them then
Spoon feed them
So they get more sales
Aren’t outlying agents
With 0 or just 1 sale
With 7 or 8 or more
Poor little reps
Always stressed on calls
Pushed to extremes
Sales account joy!

Managers’ Monday
The agents dial the leads and opportunities to try to get sales
One rep has 77 manual dials and no more
Another had 47 manual dials plus 340 outbound dials
Others have similar numbers none under 200
The 88 rep got beasted off his sup for laziness
And was made to promise to step up and do more calls
Each agent had to count then report the call numbers
The TL added them to a data sheet to review
And pass it to the Managers who managed all this crap
Their TL had to explain the discrepancy in call numbers
Each agent knew it was a futile childish process
The bosses all had access to the agents’ diallers  
All they had to do was filter and tally the calls
The agents grumbled it was a stupid pointless act
Did they know the bosses were testing them?
To see how they would react under pressure
And having to deal with stupid pointless orders
Which were all recorded real time on the system?
The bosses liked games and numbers so were fine
With this little exercise that highlighted one lazy rep
He would be triple beasted and fired if he did it again
It was Managers’ Monday and all deliberate

That Crap
Same old **** on the account
Divide and conqueror defeated in battle
Wait till the account folds
Client pulls it out we can't wait!
All reps reassigned or leave
Something better than this
We are not made for this moment
We deserve better will be greater
Unless you want us to be depressed
And cry like puppies the account failed
There's more to life than sales
B2B outbound cold calls
Hey buy our service make us rich
At first we believed till we woke up
It's the same crap as the rest
Just dressed up differently
What we do next will be better
Cos we ain't doing that crap!

Move It
Let the bosses deal with the ****
It’s what they’re paid for
Why should we concern ourselves?
We have our own demons to slay
There are other opportunities out there
Not just their cheap scandalous account
Let’s move on get something better
Away from their hostility mind set and vices
I plan on being an astronaut
What about you?

It's a good time
Hanging with animals,
Because there is no social pressure.
They merely love to live,
That is their pleasure.
There are no missed interpretations,
No alternate agendas;
Alive at nature's leisure